SkinsFTW Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Q: Why does Texas Stadium have Astroturf? A: To keep the fans from grazing during games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsFTW Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Q: Why can't Dallas Cowboy players find the Cowboys web site on the Internet? A: They haven't been able to get three ''W's'' in a row all season! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsFTW Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Troy Aikman holding the sausage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjfootballer Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 I tell you, this is bump old threads week. Saw about 5 or 6 in the tailgate alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneBoost Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 I tell you, this is bump old threads week. Saw about 5 or 6 in the tailgate alone. Hey hey, I had to share that joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjfootballer Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Hey hey, I had to share that joke. I'm not complaining about this one. This is a great one to bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soljaofjesus Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Bill Parcells, clearly upset about the Dallas Cowboy's losing record, decides to find out from Bill Belichick what his secret is. So, Parcells travels up to a Patriot practice and asks Belichick, Coach, how is it that your team is so good? What's your secret? Belichick responds by calling Tom Brady over. Tom, who's your father's brother's nephew? Tom answers, Why coach, that's easy. It's me. Belichick turns to Parcells and says, That's the secret, Bill. A smart quarterback. You've got to have a smart quarterback. Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Parcells returns to Texas and the Cowboy work-out. He promptly calls over Drew Bledsoe. Bledsoe! Who's your father's brother's nephew? Drew looks perplexed, thinks a minute and says, Coach, can I get back to you after practice on that one? Parcells (disgusted) says, OK. During practice, Bledsoe calls over Julius Jones. Julius, coach just asked me the weirdest question. Who's your father's brother's nephew? Jones: Duh! That's easy. It's me! After practice, Bledsoe catches up with Parcells: Coach, I think I've got it. My father's brother's nephew is Julius Jones. Parcells (angry): No, No, NO! You idiot!! It's Tom Brady!!! There are more scroll down! haha I like that one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umstew42 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Short Cowboy jokes Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas? A: A huddle. Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving? A: The police. Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore? A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with known felons. The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas Stadium is going to take out the artificial turf because the cowboys play better on "grass." The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new "Honor System", Yes your Honor, No your Honor. The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year, 12 arrests, 5 convictions. The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: Johnny Cochran Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umstew42 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Little Johnny was in his Kindergarten class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman. Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men." The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring in and took little Johnny aside to ask him... "Is that really true about your father working in a gay strip club?" "No" said Johnny, "he really plays for the Dallas Cowboys but I was too embarrassed to say." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stwasm Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 A man is standing on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, threatening to jump. A preacher, who happened to be driving across the bridge at the time stops to try to talk him down. "My son, don't do it. It's not worth it. Think of all the family and friends you'll leave behind." The man replies, "My wife left me with the kids and my friends all have turned on me." The preacher then says, "My son, you have a lot to be thankful for. You're alive. You have your health. You're able to walk." The man replies, "I've been evicted from my apartment, I have a whole bunch of serious medical issues and I just can't take it anymore." The preacher now starts to panic. He then says, "My son, the football season is just around the corner. Joe Gibbs is ready to turn the Skins around, Jason Campbell looks to improve upon last season and the defense is in line to bounce back from last year's struggles." The man replies, "I hate the Skins. I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan!" The preacher responds, "Well, then go ahead and jump!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted January 10, 2008 Author Share Posted January 10, 2008 If Dallas gets beat by the Giants on Sunday..that would be hella funny! I think thats a joke :dallasuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted January 18, 2008 Author Share Posted January 18, 2008 Look what I wrote a week ago, its the post before this one up top.. Dallas lost, now thats funny and people saying they were going to win the Super Bowl or even get there year is hell of a joke to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :laugh: :dallasuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docdru Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 Enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mvisit1 Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 A Dallas Cowboy fan, a Washinton Redskin fan and Julia Roberts were all sitting together on the subway when the lights went out, and the car went completely dark. In the darkness there was a kissing noise, and then the sound of a really loud slap! When the subway car’s lights came back on, Julia and the Redskin fan were sitting as if nothing happened, while the Cowboy fan was holding his slapped face! The Cowboy fan was thinking, "That Redskin fan must have kissed Julia, and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead!" Meanwhile, Julia was thinking, "That Cowboy fan must have tried to kiss me, accidentally kissed the Redskin fan, and got slapped for it!" And the Redskin fan was thinking, "This is great! The next time the subway car’s lights go out, I'll make another kissing noise and slap the crap out of that Cowboy fan again!" :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 A liitle bump so we can laugh a little bit before today's game against the JETS! H.T.T.R! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3rdgenJen Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Thanks for bumping this KingLeo. I never saw this thread before and I am reading the jokes to my kids (with PG13 editing) and they are laughing their heads off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWFLSkins Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I'd improve that joke by saying "The officer explains that they'll be right there, and tell her "make sure you get the guys jersey number."because the thought of 911 telling the girl "we're very busy right now," really leaves me feeling uncomfortable. You live in LA and have confidence in calling 911? Funny but sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWFLSkins Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 :laugh: There is Always one joke that kills me every time i hear it.....it is so funny! just scroll down to see it.I was recently in a car accident with wesleyc288 and we both were on our way to see the Redskins play the Cowboys. Not knowing each other and rooting for the opposite teams sure made for a difficult moment waiting for the police to show up. Me being the bigger man offered Wes a drink of my Jack Daniels flask and he said sure why not, he then passed it back to me. I replied, go ahead have another one being the thoughtful fan I am as we discussed the greatest rivalry in football. Then Wes again passed the flask to me, I said NAH, I will wait for the cop to get here. ----------------- Ever see the Cowboys show on HGTV? Pimp my cell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Santana_89 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Little Johnny was in his Kindergarten class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman.Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men." The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring in and took little Johnny aside to ask him... "Is that really true about your father working in a gay strip club?" "No" said Johnny, "he really plays for the Dallas Cowboys but I was too embarrassed to say." :laugh: :laugh: Now that's funny as hell! I gotta sent that one in a text msg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinzorz Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Had to bump this one up!!!!!!!!! HAIL! :dallasuck:dallasuck:dallasuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seabee1973 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 The Texas State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas. For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seabee1973 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 In the case of a tornado in the DFW area, please head directly to Cowboy Stadium Chances of a touchdown there are unlikely! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seabee1973 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Q: If you see a Cowboys fan on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seabee1973 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Q: Why did Tony Romo sits to pee get so excited when he finished his jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seabee1973 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Frustrated with another losing season, Tony Romo sits to pee decided to blow off steam with an ice fishing trip. He grabbed his equipment, put on his fishing outfit, and hit the ice to find a good spot. He took out his knife and started to make a large circle in the ice with it. But suddenly a loud voice boomed from overhead. “No, Tony. You won’t find any fish there.” He backed up a few feet and started to cut again, but again – the voice shouted at him. “No, Tony. Don’t cut there, either. You won’t find any fish!” So he backed up again – but before he could even try to cut, the voice boomed a third time. “I said NO, TONY!!!!” “Is that you, God?” Tony called out in wonder. “No, you moron,” the voice called back. “It’s the manager of the ice rink.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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