ntotoro Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by sith lord I'm sorry,but that "time out" crap,FAILED BIGTIME.I don't know how you were brought up,but spanking solved a lot of things in my home. Mine, too. My Dad had a ruler with holes drilled in it. Just the threat of him actually having to use it kept my Sister and me from f#cking up too, too badly. We were given a decent-length leash, but ultimately the line was pretty fine when crossed. Today's Parents try too hard to be a friend rather than a Parent. Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@DCGoldPants Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 yeah, spanking is going to stop your kid from drinking in high school. almost all cable boxes can be locked. If you can't be at home when school gets out, then you schedule stuff for them to do. Keep them away from just having a bunch of free time. #1. Sports #2. Music #3. Other clubs Keep them busy until dinner time. I do take your word for it. But to blame a teacher who might get just a couple hours a day with the kid, opposed to the parent who raised the kid for years before school...is insane. Fine, spanking wasn't my point here. I think its fine, just don't "hit" them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NASMTrainer Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Today's Parents try too hard to be a friend rather than a Parent LOL, my Dad was talking to me a couple of years ago and told me that you can be a parent or you can be a friend. If you choose friend, things will be easier at first but then you will lose control. If you choose to be a parent, they might not like you at times but at least you'll have a child that you can be proud of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Also there is one other thing, why do people think they can actually stop kids from screwing up? That is what kids do you know. The odds are pretty good you kids will enage in sex, drinking, some limited drug use, and other dangerous activity before getting out of highschool. The odds are also good that you won't know about it. The only shocking part about the story here is that the little idiots decided to record it. I was smart enough to know recordings much like keeping a written record in the form of a journal or whatever, only serve as evidence to be used against you later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sith lord Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by ntotoro Mine, too. My Dad had a ruler with holes drilled in it. Just the threat of him actually having to use it kept my Sister and me from f#cking up too, too badly. We were given a decent-length leash, but ultimately the line was pretty fine when crossed. Today's Parents try too hard to be a friend rather than a Parent. Nick So true.I know what you mean first hand.I have a sister that tries to be friends to her kids and she's failing bigtime as a parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ntotoro Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by Bufford yeah, spanking is going to stop your kid from drinking in high school. There's a big difference between having a drink or two or three (which most will do at one time or another) and making a porno flick with kids ages 12-17. The latter is a sign that the Parents have never been in control, possibly because they never ever attempted to gain it. Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@DCGoldPants Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 I agree....I just think spanking isn't going to stop the 17 year old kid, from talking the 12 year old into it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ntotoro Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by sith lord So true.I know what you mean first hand.I have a sister that tries to be friends to her kids and she's failing bigtime as a parent. I've been pretty lucky, IMHO. My Mother passed away when I was eight, but my Father has more than been there for both my Sister and me. He was a Father at first, then became my friend as I got older and began to better appreciate not only what he did for us, but the things he gave up as a single Parent for us to live the life we had. Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ntotoro Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by Bufford I agree....I just think spanking isn't going to stop the 17 year old kid, from talking the 12 year old into it I agree. My point, kind of, is that for kids of that age to do stuff like that, the Parents have never been a highly influential part of their lives to begin with. When I was 12, I had barely reached physical sexual maturity, much less had thoughts of making a feature flick of my discoveries... :laugh: Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by ntotoro I agree. My point, kind of, is that for kids of that age to do stuff like that, the Parents have never been a highly influential part of their lives to begin with. When I was 12, I had barely reached physical sexual maturity, much less had thoughts of making a feature flick of my discoveries... :laugh: Nick How many hollywood sex tapes was a popular part of pop culture when you hit 12? This isn't even considering the access kids have to limitless porn via the internet or the types of conversations the anonymous nature of the internet allows. Take a dip in the Internet gaming community. The kids embarrass the adults with their vulgar language. You can't compare yourself to todays generation. Unless you are younger then I am you didn't have the access these kids do to information or anonymous social interaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ntotoro Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by Destino You can't compare yourself to todays generation. Unless you are younger then I am you didn't have the access these kids do to information or anonymous social interaction. I can't compare myself personally, no. That was something that became hard to accept at 32 years old. The problem is that these kids' Parents are older than I am and many are at least as tech-savvy as I am. The fact that they aren't aware of these things, to the point that they can take action, is astounding to me. Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick301 Posted May 2, 2005 Author Share Posted May 2, 2005 To repeat a phrase from Hilary (about the only intelligent thing she may have said - but that is another thread) It takes a villiage to raise a child. Bring back spanking (open hand, a few times to the rear end), washing one's mouth with soap, and parental involvement for the parents and red grading pens (from another thread) for the teachers along with appropriate tools for dealing with unruly kids. I sense that most of the board members are quite involved with their kids and know what their kids are up to. I know I am. I watch and monitor where my son goes and I don't let him go places that are not appropriate. I must know where, when and with who(m) before he can go somewhere. If a neighbor sees him do something he shouldn't, I want them to speak up and address it at that point with my son, and I will address it again when he gets home. He is not perfect and will explore his limits in his teen years - that's natural. But my wife and I will be there enforcing the boundaries, and administering the consequences. It only takes a few times of enforcement for our kids to learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by ntotoro I can't compare myself personally, no. That was something that became hard to accept at 32 years old. The problem is that these kids' Parents are older than I am and many are at least as tech-savvy as I am. The fact that they aren't aware of these things, to the point that they can take action, is astounding to me. Nick You'd be hard pressed to find an adult outside the IT field that knows more about computing then his children. They'll find a way around your best efforts and then broadcast them on-line so other kids can do the same. When I have kids there is no way in hell they will have a PC in their room. Their PC will be near mine, so that I can turn and shout "YOU SUCK!" after I destoy them in whatever game they choose. People don't really understand how dangerous a PC with access to the internet can be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sith lord Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by rick301 To repeat a phrase from Hilary (about the only intelligent thing she may have said - but that is another thread) It takes a villiage to raise a child. Bring back spanking (open hand, a few times to the rear end), washing one's mouth with soap, and parental involvement for the parents and red grading pens (from another thread) for the teachers along with appropriate tools for dealing with unruly kids. I sense that most of the board members are quite involved with their kids and know what their kids are up to. I know I am. I watch and monitor where my son goes and I don't let him go places that are not appropriate. I must know where, when and with who(m) before he can go somewhere. If a neighbor sees him do something he shouldn't, I want them to speak up and address it at that point with my son, and I will address it again when he gets home. He is not perfect and will explore his limits in his teen years - that's natural. But my wife and I will be there enforcing the boundaries, and administering the consequences. It only takes a few times of enforcement for our kids to learn. The only problem with that is that most of us don't live in that type of neighborhood anymore.When I was growing up,that worked,but now it's totally different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NASMTrainer Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by Destino You'd be hard pressed to find an adult outside the IT field that knows more about computing then his children. They'll find away around your efforts and then broadcast them on-line so other kids can do the same. When I have kids there is no way in hell they will have a PC in their room. Their PC will be near mine, so that I can turn and shout "YOU SUCK!" after I destoy them in whatever game they choose. You got it. Both of mine already know that there will never be a PC in either of their rooms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkLadyRaven Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by 75004 I know of a case were the parents split up. The parents focused too much on who was right and who was wrong. The kids one who is 12 years of age and another who is 15 years are not afraid of school or their parents because they know they can't be discipline. The 15 year old has been suspended for 3 days in about 6 instances this year. The 12 year old has been in so many fights:doh: The Mother works odd hours and the father is not around as much as he should. I think that we have a lot of this type of cases and with todays MTV's and internet access infuence:doh: This is such total bulll****. My mother has been divorced for since I was one but she has raised me far better than most other university students around here that have two parent households. People are having sex, partying, and drinking at all hours of the night ( I dont do any of those things) The one thing I noticed that they have in common- they either have strict two parents at home or at least one parent who indulge them at every instance ( hence daddies girls). Even emancipated students dont act as depraved. Of course my mother did not spare the rod either We dont have internet access at home or cable-- so its a non issue. Its an option to have them in your home you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 I know its off the main topic of your discourse, but I just wanted to point out that that whoever titled the article shouldn't have used the word "allegedly." That implies that there is some doubt over whether in fact they did the activity. From Webster's: Main Entry: al·lege to assert without proof or before proving <the newspaper alleges the mayor's guilt> They have the tape as proof, so it isn't "alleged" behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redskins4life234 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Sometimes though, if you are too hard on the kid, it'll drive the kid crazy and then they just dont care or grow immune of the pain. Also, I cant understand why a 17 and 18 year old would want to do sexual things with a 12 year old, it is just plain wrong. Also, what disturbed me, is last night while watching the news, I heard that a 14 year old kid, after school went up to a 12 year old kid and sexually abused and probably raped the girl. Just wrong and sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick301 Posted May 2, 2005 Author Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by China I know its off the main topic of your discourse, but I just wanted to point out that that whoever titled the article shouldn't have used the word "allegedly." That implies that there is some doubt over whether in fact they did the activity. From Webster's: Main Entry: al·lege to assert without proof or before proving <the newspaper alleges the mayor's guilt> They have the tape as proof, so it isn't "alleged" behavior. ... but they haven't been proven guilty in a court of law, hence the newspapers protecting themselves by using 'alleged' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjTj Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by rick301 ... but they haven't been proven guilty in a court of law, hence the newspapers protecting themselves by using 'alleged' Innocent until proven guilty. Alleged until convicted. It's not about the newspapers protecting themselves; it's about the fundamentals of our justice system. Everyone gets a hearing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by rick301 ... but they haven't been proven guilty in a court of law, hence the newspapers protecting themselves by using 'alleged' Whether they've gone to court yet is irrelevant. The kids made the tape, that is a fact, not an allegation by police. EDIT: Let me see if I can put it another way. If, for example, the police have a video of someone killing someone else, then they can say that Person X killed person Y. However, in the same instance they may allege that it is murder. The video proof of the killing may not prove whether it was murder or self defense. So the kids didn't "allegedly" make the tape, they made it. Now they may have "allegedly" committed the crime of contributing to the delinquency of a a minor, that would still have to be proven in court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by carter23 why would anyone show their sibling a porno that they made? a) Someone they're trying to recruit. Bragging. (Although, lord knows I'd never have trusted my brothers with something that's that easy to use for blackmail.) Which leads to c) Somebody who doesn't know it's wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by Destino When I have kids there is no way in hell they will have a PC in their room. Their PC will be near mine, so that I can turn and shout "YOU SUCK!" after I destoy them in whatever game they choose. :laugh: :laugh: Genius! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 "c) Somebody who doesn't know it's wrong." I think you hit the nail on the head, Larry. It's not hard to imagine this if the parents are at all disconnected from their kids. There's is so much influence towards sexual behavior in our society, if you aren't actively teaching your youngsters what is acceptable, how else will they know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Which then leads to the next question: If you're the DA, what do you do about it? Among other factors, remember that, I'd bet, there are jurisdictions where this crime calls for a mandatory 20 years (after which, we'll still keep you in jail for life, anyway) and a lifetime of "registered sex offender" status. OTOH, it's also a pretty safe bet, if you don't charge them as adults, then come next election (or maybe the one after that, after the public's forgotten about it), your opponent will be running commercials the day before the election about the child pronography producers you plea bargained away. (The story I'm remembering was from 10-15 years ago, when I still lived in Va. A (state) Senator decided that, to use his example, if a 15-yera-old boy has sex with a 16-year-old girl, then a felony charge of statutory rape wasn't the appropriate response. He introduced legislation that made it a lesser crime if the participants were over age 9, but they were within one year of age, or over age 13 and within two years. (Next election, his opponent ran ads that the Senator had led the fight "to repeal the law that makes it illegal to have sex with nine-year-olds".) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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