Morning Wood Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Ok, so I've just been presented with an issue that I hadn't really given any prior thought. My wife and I have a 14 month old daughter, and the wife just asked me my thoughts on what path we should follow at Christmas time in regards to our little one... Santa, or no Santa? I hadn't given it any thought because I was raised with the traditional belief in Santa as a child and I just assumed that we would do the same as parents. My wife is fine with this with the exception that she is worried about our daughter being traumatized once she learns the truth. We both discussed our own personal experiences and neither of us felt like our "childhood revelation" was any great upset to our universes. Still, being a parent, I'm learning, causes you to think much more in depth about situations and their consequences. Anyway, we've decided that we'll go with the traditional Christmas mind set. My personal take is that Christmas time was a magical, wonderful time for me as a child, and I'd hate to deprive my daughter of the same experience. There was something fantastical about waking up on Christmas morning knowing that Santa Claus came, and seeing everything under the tree that wasn't there the night before. Along with all the presents, I'd always check to see if the milk and cookies were gone too. Anyway, you get the idea. Here's the complication though... My sister-in-law has two boys ages 4 & 5. She has already told them the truth. Her belief is that she doesn't want to lie to her children, and have them believing in some fictional being. I don't share her beliefs, but I respect them. My concern though is that I don't want her beliefs interfering with my daughter's childhood. I guess I feel that my little girl will find out about credit card debt, and obnoxious co-workers soon enough. I want her to enjoy being a kid while it lasts, and part of that envolves the fat man in the red suit. (I live about two minutes away from my sister-in-law and her family, and I see them almost every day. We are a very close family, so I can't simply ignore this.) My wife is also concerned that her sister's children will spill the beans. I feel like if we make our concerns known to my sister-in-law, she'll do what she can to help keep the secret even if she doesn't agree with it. I was just curious, have any of you parents here had similar situations, and if so how have you dealt with them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickfox45 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 im not a parent but i remember when i found out about santa, i was pretty mad at my parents for deceiving me...for about a day, and then i got over it. no lasting trauma here, i think.:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bricucci Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Lot more joy in the 7 years they will believe than the 10 minutes they will spend being mad you deceived them. :billsuck: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarhog Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Oh no. Here we go again :laugh: Hey Tony, you wanna take this one Personally, although I respect everyone's right to make their own decision, I see no harm in letting your kids believe in a little magic before you bring them crashing back down to harsh earthly reality. If the argument is simply, I'd rather my kids know the truth from the get-go, okay, I can buy that. But of the gazillion kids who've believed in the Big Guy for hundreds of years, I've never met one who ended up traumatized. For those worried about that, you'd better go ahead and explain menstruation and sperm while you're at it - because thats a heckuva lot more traumatizing a lesson than old Santa can provide I say let them be kids. As for the relatives kids, thats an easy one. Tell them if they spill the beans you'll wring their little necks. That ought to take care of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morning Wood Posted December 3, 2004 Author Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by Tarhog Oh no. Here we go again :laugh: Hey Tony, you wanna take this one Personally, although I respect everyone's right to make their own decision, I see no harm in letting your kids believe in a little magic before you bring them crashing back down to harsh earthly reality. If the argument is simply, I'd rather my kids know the truth from the get-go, okay, I can buy that. But of the gazillion kids who've believed in the Big Guy for hundreds of years, I've never met one who ended up traumatized. For those worried about that, you'd better go ahead and explain menstruation and sperm while you're at it - because thats a heckuva lot more traumatizing a lesson than old Santa can provide I say let them be kids. As for the relatives kids, thats an easy one. Tell them if they spill the beans you'll wring their little necks. That ought to take care of it! Thats pretty much the way I feel about it all. My "revelation" was more a product of just outgrowing it. I had had my suspicions, so I simply asked my mother and she told me the truth. Yeah, I was a little taken aback when I learned that my suspicions were correct, but I got over it pretty quick. Even moreso though, I found a new joy in helping to keep the secret from my little brother. I got to be "in"on it, and was able to do my part to help keep his Christmas mornings magical for another year or two. But, that was me. I have no idea how my nephews will be. That truly concerns me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 on my ride home from work today i heard a new study came out that says it is best to tell your kids santa clause exist. those kids that their parents tell them there is no santa are the same kids that run around and crush other little kids dreams by telling them there is no santa :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akhhorus Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 there's no SANTA!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by Akhhorus there's no SANTA!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! i was waiting for someone to pull that line. :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akhhorus Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by dks1240 i was waiting for someone to pull that line. :cool: (takes a bow) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TC4 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 YES, THERE IS TOO A SANTA CLAUS!!!! And I don't wanna hear no more of this foolish talk :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CandaceM23 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Santa is great .... Every child need something to believe in. Do you not remember the feeling of anticipation as a child ... knowing that Santa's coming to visit you ... and to bring you all of the things on your Christmas list? I say go for it. Give your daughter something to believe in and something to look forward to. Just whatever you do ... be careful about handwriting. I was smart. I saw that "Santa" had the same handwriting as "Mommy & Daddy." The look of shock on their faces - realizing that I recognized that the handwriting was the same - let me know that Santa was not real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EagleSteve Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 My kids will live the fantasy for a few years, then the truth will be revealed as their beliefs mature. This just bears repeating: http://www.stormfax.com/virginia.htm From the Editorial Page of The New York Sun, written by Francis P. Church, September 21, 1897 We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun: "Dear Editor--I am 8 years old. "Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. "Papa says, 'If you see it in The Sun, it's so.' "Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus? Virginia O'Hanlon 115 West Ninety-fifth Street Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no child-like faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeSkins Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 My parents never actually flat out told me there was no Santa Claus. So, until someone does, I'll believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morning Wood Posted December 3, 2004 Author Share Posted December 3, 2004 Thanks folks. I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one who wishes to keep the christmas magic alive and well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Here's my long-winded take: "Is it OK to lie to our children?" http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=42893 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ax Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sknzfan Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 My oldest Daughter 9 came home about a week ago and asked if SANTA was real....!!! She said one of the Boys at school told her he wasn't it was your PARENT'S ! I informed her that SANTA would NOT be visiting that POOR kid because he DIDN'T Believe !!! I think that took care of that...now as for my 6 Year old the ONLY thing that TRAUMATIZED her was the Thought that SANTA wouldn't be able to FIND her ....since we had Moved into a NEW House....and had NO Chimney !!! I told her that SANTA was WATCHING ALL the Time...he knew where she was and He'd find another way into the House ! ....She's VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY EXCITED about SANTA !!! Tell your KID(S) if they BELIEVE then he COMES....if they DON'T then he DOESN'T....let THEM Decide !!! MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morning Wood Posted December 3, 2004 Author Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by Die Hard Here's my long-winded take: "Is it OK to lie to our children?" http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=42893 Wow, that thread turned into quite the debate didn't it? There were a lot of good points made there. Some I agree with, some I wholeheartedly don't. I am a parent now, and as much as I liked to think that I had it all figured out beforehand, I am reminded every day now that I had no clue. Many times, I still don't. I completely respect every parent's take on how they go about raising their children. None of us has all the answers. And what works for one child may not (and most likely will not) work for another. I want to make sure that my daughter doesn't grow up too fast. To me, part of making sure that doesn't happen is to let the child's imagination run wild, and to let her believe in fantastical things, be they real or not. If I pick up a stick in my backyard, I'm simply holding a stick. But when I was five years old, that stick was my light saber and I was Luke freakin Skywalker. If I had a piece of rope, that was my whip, and I was Indiana Jones. The last time I babysat my two nephews, they pulled all the cushions off my couch, stood them up on end, then draped blankets over the tops of them. What I saw was a mess. What they saw was an iron fortress. I wish I still had the ability to accept without doubt that kind of imaginative innocence. It is for these reasons that Santa will always have milk and cookies waiting at my house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huly Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 My brother and I were 9 years apart, so when my parents told my brother there was no santa , he was really mad and upset at them for lieing to him. Since he took it that way I was raised that there was not a santa. Part of me wishes I could have enjoyed it, and part of me is glad I always knew. In reality I never missed out on anything (being spoiled rotten I always got everything I wanted) but it was hard for me in school as all my classmates believed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Wow. I'm blown away at the concern that this has any negative affect on kids at all. If a kid has issues with this when he/she finds out the truth, there are deeper problems. I can't imangine not believing in Santa as a child. Then as I got older the and had doubts, the fun of trying to stay up late on Christmas eve to spy on my parents. Little kids are way to young to understand the true meaning of Christmas. If you take Santa away from them, what is the point. The wonder, the excitement the expectation is incredible. And if you don't have kids, you just don't understand the joy you get when you look in to their wonderous eyes as they wonder if Santa will be able to fit down the chimney, and how excited they are in the morning to see a bite out of the cookie they left and some of the milk being drunk. The fun in helping them write and mail a letter to the North Pole. When I was a kid, my dad would let us talk to Santa over the CB. Man that was cool. On christmas eve, my wife stands in the bathroom with the window open shaking a little bell while my kids stand at the back door trying to hear Santa's sleigh overhead. They Love it. Die-Hard, (edited due to stupidity) It is good to see you have given lots of thought to parenting. If everyone would do this, many of todays societal ill's wouldn't be issues at all. However, as with anything in life, there are extremes in both directions. You won't raise children without lying to them at times. As children, my brother and I played with an older neighbord hood boy who was mentally handicapped. Although he was 7 or 8 years older, his mental level was at our age. One day my parents told us we couldn't play with him anymore and gave us some excuse. Years later, as an adult I found out he had a history of sexual misconduct. Now, were my parents right to lie to me with the excuse they gave me? I was too young to understand or handle the truth. They really had no other choice. Some realities we shield our children from with lies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afparent Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 The spirit of Santa Claus exist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsNut73 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 I remember when I found out there was no Santa...kid in the neighborhood convinced me by saying something to the effect of "do you really think some fat guy in a suit zips around the world in a sleigh with reindeer....and gets this all done in one night?" Crap...he's got a point... Hmmm....if I ask Mom and Dad, and they tell me there is no Santa...then maybe they stop buying the presents for me I thought... ...so I went through another couple of years "believing" in Santa just so I could rake in the presents ...Mom was devastated when I told her I knew there was no Santa. Finding out Santa wasn't real had a greater impact on her ....than it did me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingtiger1013 Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Well, being a father of 4, ranging in age from 20 to 7, I have never told them Santa doesn't exist. I know he does! I see him every time I look in the mirror! I see the results of his work in their eyes, their smiles, and my checkbook. I still receive gifts from Santa every year. Everyone in my family does. He uses special Santa wrapping paper! Even the United States Military believes in Santa!!!!! http://www.noradsanta.org/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMac Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 I will say this. As a kid, I could not wait for Santa. It was impossible to go to sleep. I remember trying to decieve my parents and sneak peeks out the window to see if I could locate him. I lived for that magic moment and so my wife and I do the same for our kids. As for me, I kind of learned that there was no santa on my own. It wasnt a traumatic experience because I still got the cool gifts. Im all for Santa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gridironmike Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by dks1240 those kids that their parents tell them there is no santa are the same kids that run around and crush other little kids dreams by telling them there is no santa :mad: Thats the only thing I don't care for. I have no problem with it. heck, I think I believed until I was in the sixth grade! I do plan on educating my kids about the history behind Santa Claus when they are old enough or don't believe any longer. The "magic" is a powerful thing for a kid. My children do know the real reason behind Christmas, and the Santa thing falls in line with it somewhat, so I'm not concerned. To those that have been told prematurely, I'd just explain that once you don't believe in the magic, it ceases to exist for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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