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Satire of Republicans


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New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights excluding 2nd Amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Freedom Fries served

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires

9:30 PM break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Karl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple

10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy

11:10 PM Hillary Clinton Pinata

11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

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Sarge, you are so right - this is the same posting. You must be a proud product of a private school - congratulations! I did post that again because I thought my original heading didn't capture the meaning of the post.

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2004 Democratic National Committee Convention - Official Program

6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.

6:00pm - Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton

6:30pm - Antiwar concert by Barbra Streisand.

6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.

7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.

7:25pm - Tribute theme to Germany.

7:45pm - Antiwar rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)

8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.

9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)

9:30pm - * Intermission *

10:00pm - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins

10:10pm - Reenactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.

10:20pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'

10:30pm - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.

10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.

11:00pm - Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same sex).

11:15PM - Maximizing Welfare workshop.

11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.

11:59PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:00pm - Nomination of democratic candidate.

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Notice the Republicans: milk and cookies, religion, reviving an OD victim... what nice people

Notice the Demcrats: Drinking, debauchery, screaming, anti-religion...

Im going for the milk and cookies.... it seems to be a lil nice place to be.

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