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The Legend of Brandon Banks Thread


Sweet Sassy Molassy

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Every year there is a mancrush, and fans have an almost unhealthy obsession over one player to the point where you sorta wonder if it's them posting under the guise of a fan. The mancrush hall of fame features such legends as: Anthony Mix, Robert McCune, Marko Mitchell, and Jessie Lumsden. Well now it looks like we have yet another member to be added to this prestigious list, and that person is none other than Brandon Banks. Much like the aforementioned inductees the fervor around Banks has reached absurd levels. To the point where he's exalted to near superhuman levels.

Well this thread is to see just how far we can go with the Brandon Banks Hyperbole. The rules? Post your best Brandon Banks one-liner, and have fun. This isn't a thread about the virtues of keeping him on the team, it's not about trying to make fun of the guy, as I hope that he sticks around at least on the PS and develops into a great player for us. It's just all about having a good laugh.

Example:

Brandon Banks once ran a 2.27 100 yard dash, and then dropkicked the sun.

That's it. It's pretty much like Chuck Norris ... except Chuck Norris prays to Brandon Banks every night before he goes to sleep.

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Reed Doughty is so......

Oh wait. :ols:

Brandon Banks is so fast he can flip the light switch in every bedroom in the United States, and be in his own bed before the lights go off.

In other news, every woman in the United States will wake up pregnant tomorrow.

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Light moves at 1/1000th the speed of Brandon Banks.

Brandon Banks can cut on a dime, standing on its edge.

The working title for the movie "Speed" was "Brandon Banks."

It is theorized that moving faster than the speed of light can actually cause one to travel back in time. Brandon Banks was just named the rookie of the year for 1961.

Plays involving Brandon Banks are not subject to review. There are no cameras with a frame rate high enough to capture him.

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Brandon Banks broke Terrance Newman's ankle with 1 cut, and then quickly reset the bone cutting back the opposite way

Brandon Banks is the first player in NFL History to have a penalty called on him for speeding...the penalty for failing to signal a lane change was declined

Hurricane's aren't weather phenomena...they're just the result of Brandon Banks playing on his niece's sit-n-spin

Brandon Banks doesn't fly to away games, he jogs...he only goes to the airport to check his bags

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Brandon Banks broke Terrance Newman's ankle with 1 cut, and then quickly reset the bone cutting back the opposite way

Brandon Banks is the first player in NFL History to have a penalty called on him for speeding...the penalty for failing to signal a lane change was declined

:ols:

:notworthy:

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