balki1867

They need to sign only albino players and have a snow making machine cover the field before every game.

LOL watching the school closing ticker on snow days was a top 5 childhood experience. It was really like the NBA draft-- you were staring down your backpack and your snowpants, with no idea how the day would unfold.

That guy looks way too excited about his "sex with your cousin" law.

STATES RIGHTS to legally treat some humans as personal property of other humans Typical liberal media-- they conveniently leave out the fact that when Ted said that, he was saying it as a compliment.

My girlfriend moved in recently and we've been hanging all our artwork around the house. Every time we get it right on the first try, I yell, "MATH B****!" She is not amused, but she stills loves me... for now.

WTF the Commanders are a lamp in that meme.

As a massive Billy Joel fan, my favorite part about this short is that the dude clearly watched the music video for the original before he made this parody.

I thought Taylor swift had a good 2023, but were less than 2 weeks into 2024 and she’s already infiltrated the pentagon and potentially destroyed the chiefs dynasty.

Some of you are too young to remember this press conference happening... #JusticeForMikeFlorio

Haha, most of us consider this a feature of a functioning democracy. For Michigan Republicans… not so much.

ALPHA male indeed

Oddly enough that quote also describes his career at Auburn pretty accurately too.

Reminds me of the twitter jokes that went around when Kanye collaborated with Paul McCartney and a bunch of people though Kanye just discovered a new artist.

Between the Uranus Fudge Factory and the Oscar Mayer Wiener being parked in Uranus, I'm not even sure what the joke is, but this is a rare case where that doesn't prevent it from being funny.

Man— I thought it was rough being a brown man and getting questioned by the cops for standing outside soldier field by myself (waiting for friends before a u2 concert) just 2 weeks after the Manchester bombing. I guess I just never thought how bad it can be for billionaires that are actually committing crimes to be treated like criminals.

SURVIVOR POIL IS NOW!!!

Extremeskins: Almost 20 years ago, this site coined the term, "PALOFFS IS NOW!" so I'll always be indebted to the depth ES has added to my life. Facebook: I joined Facebook the summer of 2004 when it was limited to .edu email addresses. I didn't use it super actively (maybe 2-3x a week) until I was in Japan for work for like 3 weeks in 2008. I was just accepting whatever friend requests came along but then I realized there were like 200 people I knew on it. I was pretty active on it until the 2016 election, when I realized how destructive it was. I still login 1-2x a month, but I went through and manually deleted every single like, post, comment, etc. Instagram: This is the only social media I actively use. And yes, I know I'm a hypocrite here, because Instagram is owned by Facebook. TikTok: I joined bc of my niece, but I deleted it. This is basically like ADHD in app form. I'm told this is where all the cool kids hang out these days. Snapchat: I joined bc of my niece, but I also deleted it. LinkedIn: I'm on it and I keep it updated, but I try to avoid it. I'm lucky enough to be relatively successful in my career, but some of the people who are active there are straight up sociopaths-- people who are barely out of college and declare themselves thought leaders, etc. Reddit: This place used to be really good for finding people to talk about detailed topics. It still is, but it's gotten insanely popular in the past few years and it's hard to filter out the good stuff from all the noise. Also, there's a lot of promoted subreddits that are really just rage-bait (i.e.: subreddits that feature nothing but people acting like complete jerks in public). X (Twitter): I quit the day Elon said he was buying it. This was another one where I deleted all of my tweets and likes. In general, I try to maintain a limited history on any social media. It's a shame because the original twitter was probably my favorite social networking platform, and it slowly devolved into a complete cesspool. Other-Myspace: I was on MySpace for a while in the mid-2000s. It was really weird because there was a cultural split at the time between people who went to college (who joined Facebook) and people who didn't (who joined MySpace). Even though Facebook started allowing non-.edu emails, the reputations were already set, and Facebook spent a while trying to overcome MySpace's success. Other-Classmates.com: LOL Other-AdultFriendFinder: No Comment

Something tells me the people pushing to bring back lead paint have already been exposed to quite a bit of lead paint.

There's a fringe belief within the evangelist community that the Messiah won't return until the Jews rebuild the temple in Jerusalem, which can't be done without destroying the Al-Aqsa mosque that currently sits in that location. (Note also that the mosque was built ~300 years after the temple was destroyed by Rome-- most evangelicals paint the story as if Muslim conquerors destroyed the temple themselves). So while they don't care for Jews, they need the Jews to eradicate the Palestinians and rebuild the Temple. Conversely, many Jews believe they aren't supposed to rebuild the Temple until the Messiah comes back and tells them to, so this is the worst chicken and egg conundrum ever.

LOL, I'm pretty sure that Travis Kelce is actually the person that Rob Gronkowski pretends to be.

Not gonna lie-- all this does is make Obama cooler.

WeWork’s valuation was always nonsense. They got SoftBank as an investor early on, and when SoftBank wanted to start a new fund, they wanted to show the fund with the WeWork investment as an example of their success. They accomplished this by investing further into WeWork with an absurd valuation to make the whole investment look good— “I just invested $100,000 for 0.01% of WeWork, so it’s worth $1B. Also I happen to own 10% of it from a previous investment, so that investment is worth ‘$100M. Wooooo!”