Chris0894 Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 About a year ago I lost my job in a lumber mill due to the economy which led to my wife and I fighting. I decided I would take the opportunity to take a cooks job during the night and go to school during the day and get a degree in the IT department. She wasn't cool with that. She wanted the money right away and wanted me to get another mill job. However, all the other mills were shutting down for the same reason mine did. I want whats best for my kids in the long run so I went with going back to school....we split up over it. I gave her my car, all the furniture I paid for, TV's you name it. I even supply her with free satellite including all PPV's. Im currently living with a room mate that is cool with having my kids 1 day week. I guess im asking where do I find a Lawyer I can afford and also housing assistance that would lead me to getting custody of my kids? I want custody of my kids and It will nvr happen with my room mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Unless you can demonstrate she is a unfit mother you have a very steep hill to climb. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris0894 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 Unless you can demonstrate she is a unfit mother you have a very steep hill to climb.Good luck. I can I just need to get a lawyer I can afford and some assistance into a bigger apartment with a room mate that doesnt mind them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 I can I just need to get a lawyer I can afford and some assistance into a bigger apartment with a room mate that doesnt mind them. Who will care for them while you work? Think the court will award custody to someone needing assistance? Not trying to be a ass:(,but to change the status quo is gonna be hard w/o clearly demonstrating the need for custody and your ability to provide better care in all ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris0894 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 She is doing the same thing at the moment...her big advantage is she has a big family in this small town and I have none...Im looking for advice not criticism, give me some ideas, Ill do anything to get my two baby girls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris0894 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 ,but to change the status quo is gonna be hard w/o clearly demonstrating the need for custody and your ability to provide better care in all ways. She is a huge pot head man, she smoke around them and i have proof....all i need is an attourney but i cant afford one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris0894 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 also she drops them off earlier then planned and shows up lat to pick them up so I think i have a good case Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 http://www.lawforwa.org/search/basic_search.html?q=Where+can+I+get+free+legal+advice+on+family+law+issues%3F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris0894 Posted December 13, 2009 Author Share Posted December 13, 2009 http://www.lawforwa.org/search/basic_search.html?q=Where+can+I+get+free+legal+advice+on+family+law+issues%3F Thanks I really appreciate that...I knew I could count on the tailgate lol. I couldnt seem to find anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. S Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 see if there is any legal aid service in the area. The attorneys who work in those are just as competent and passionate for their clients. If you qualify (as in you live at a certain level of poverty), they may take your case or find another attorney who will do it pro bono. I guess that link provides answers for finding a legal aid service. As for finding a lawyer for cheap otherwise, you will have to call around yourself and ask them. Most of us are familiar with the DC area and could probably be of better help that way in terms of recommending someone. Also, no one is trying to criticize, but you do need to show not only that she is unfit, but that you can also provide better. Her having family in the area does help her immensely, and her lawyer will say exactly that. You have to rpove the kids are suffering too much and that it's in the "best interests" of the children to make her lose custody. That's kind of hard to do when it seems you have providing issues as well for now. Good luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnyderShrugged Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Might be cheaper to hire a PI, get the goods on her, then threaten to bring your evidence to court if she doesnt play ball. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Might be cheaper to hire a PI, get the goods on her, then threaten to bring your evidence to court if she doesnt play ball. I like that Idea. Too bad you can't catch her smoking pot yourself with a hidden camera. :evilg:. I'm inclined to agree with twa on custody though. You need to demonstrate a stable environment with room for your girls along with coming up with evidence that your x is an unfit mother. What I did was get a separation agreement with liberal visitation and child support spelled out. Then went for joint custody in the divorce agreement. Joint custody gives you the right to participate in decisions concerning your children. Also it's way easier to gain physical custody (children living with you) from a joint custody position as the custody doesn't change, only the physical custody does. It was 11 years after my divorce that my son came to live with me at age 13. That meant 11 years ($80,000) of child support and visitation, the last 7.5 years of visitation were from 175 miles away (2.5 hour drive each way, twice) every other weekend. My advice to you is to suck it up and get used to it. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
codeorama Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 The best way to get custody of your kids is to convince her to give it to you. I did and I have my son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 The best way to get custody of your kids is to convince her to give it to you. I did and I have my son. good luck with that :laugh: to most woman your talking about giving away their meal ticket. :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 The best way to get custody of your kids is to convince her to give it to you. I did and I have my son. It is indeed,but first you must convince them it is better for the kids or themselves....not a easy proposition in most cases. I salute those that do work for the best interests of the kids:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Work towards your children incrementally. Try as best as possible NOT to say bad things about the woman up until a week ago was fine to smoke pot ... And that's all she needs to say: He did it with me, until we split.. and your done with that topic. its not about you and her anymore, its about the children. Make sure you have someone to take the kids to school, to pick them up after school and to feed/play with them when your not there.... I deal with my ex under worse circumstances and it pays off day after day when an emergency happens and you know you can call and there is help. Don't burn a bridge that seemed perfectly fine just a little while ago, because your heartbroken now. Is it better for the children (REALLY) if you just talk to her about the smoking. Is it better for the children to go 50/50? Is it better for the children to say bad thing about their mother now, when 10 years from now it could be a problem? Think about long term... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt Rich Fla Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Trust me, don't tell her anything! You need to get the goods on the drugs. Talk to a lawyer and try to get the courts to force her to take a drug test. see if you can video her puffing in front of the kids. take pics of her smoking stuff. But please don't let on to her that you are lookinmg for a lawyer. Play like you are beat down and have given up the fight. It's your only defense. If she smells a rat your ****ed. Boy, you don't want her to go after you with a lawyer before you go after her. Good luck. I'll pray for. I'm right there with ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 and if Capt Rich Fla the extremist and woman hater says something. Do the opposite. he's not known for being a level headed councilor by his own admittance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Good luck, Chris. I'll pray for you and your kids. BTW, if I ever hit the lottery, this is going to be my full-time job. I'm going to fly around the country paying the legal expenses of men fighting divorce/custody cases. There is NO voice out there for us, and that needs to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toe Jam Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 There is NO voice out there for us, and that needs to change. I recently found out that when my mom and dad split up, she got full custody of us even though he was more fit to be a parent. I don't understand it. She turned out to be a horrible parent for the most part and he would have done a much better job. I can guarantee it. Good luck to you OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris0894 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Thanks for all the responses. There is this waiter at the Restaurant I work at that is going through the same exact situation. The two of us talked and now I have a good direction to go in...his lawyer is a family practice type lawyer so maybe he can hook me up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.