Mickalino Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 I hate the way they exaggerate these friggin player profiles !!!! 2003 Player Profile: Zeron Flemister, TE 06/27/2003 By Jason Gouldski Editor, Redskins.com Redskins fourth-year player Zeron Flemister has performed solidly and spectactularly at Tight-End the last three seasons. Flemister helped the Redskins offense attain an admirable 21st best offense in the NFL in 2002. He caught an astounding 10 passes in 2002. That’s just one of the many stats that show the great skillful receiving hands that Flemister possesses. He even started 7 games last year, boldy suppressing the incumbent and “tough-to-unseat” Walter Rasby. What’s more amazing about Zeron Flemister is the way he has shown stunning improvement over his first 3 seasons. In his first season, he averaged 8 yards per catch. In his 2nd season, he averaged 10.9 yards. In his 3rd season, he averaged 14.9 yards. Interestingly, that’s a 36% jump in each season. So at his current pace, Flemister will be averaging 50.96 yards per catch by the year 2006, which no doubt will drive him into the NFL Hall of Fame with the likes of Tight End Kellen Winslow. Flemister and the Redskins will be in action at Redskins training camp, which is set to begin on July 28 at Redskin Park in Ashburn, Virginia. Admission and parking to training camp are free. Click here for driving directions and other pertinent information Zeron Flemister Number: 89 Height: 6-11 Weight: 245 Experience: 4th season College: Iowa 40-yard time : 4.26 Career Highlight: In 2002, Flemister caught the winning pass against the Broncos, during a snowy and sub-freezing evening in Denver. This inspired the headlines across the US, “Broncos Choke on Flem.” His amazing catch catapulted the Redskins season into an 8-8 record. They started out 0-5 that season, but thanks to Flemister, they ended up one of the best .500 teams in the league. The Redskins are still reeling from the momentum of that catch. Did You Know?: Zeron Flemister has an amazing history of super-human hand skills. Once, during a hunting trip with friends in Montana in 1997 he found his life in great peril. A stray bullet, originally aimed at a bear, raced recklessly toward Flem. Before his friends could manage to tell him about the impending danger, Flem said “Hey what’s that high-pitched whistling sound I hear ?” He then recognized the bullet peripherally with his left eye, and then proceeded to grab the racing bullet between his thumb and forefinger. But the danger wasn’t over for Flem. There was still the angry bear, aroused by all the commotion. Not for long. Flemister, using his bare hands, shredded the bear into a dozen small pieces. He then fed those body parts to some nearby bulls. This shows that Flemister believes in giving back to the community. The Redskins hope that that same hospitality carries over into the DC area while he resides there. They also expect those hand-skills he displayed during that trip to carry over into making him an elite receiving Tight End in the NFL Expectations: Zeron Flemister is expected to compete for playing time along with 2nd year player Robert Royal. But it will be tough for newcomer Royal to out-fox Zeron from his 1st-string position, as Flem has been a ball-hawk during offseason workouts with his toddler. Flemister’s three-year old son, Zero, had this to say, “Daddy catch evwy ball I throw. Daddy is superman !! “ Quote: "For the most part, the key for me has been preparation. Every night I sandpaper my hands with 500-grit sandpaper, to give me better hand-traction to receive the ball with. But I’m sure now that everyone knows my secret to my great ball-handling skills, they’re going to start copying me all over the league, and try to duplicate my success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 4.26????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glorydays Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Yeah check that out. He got a lot of play on his write up. Rasby was hurt and wasn't used as often in the deeper routes. Flemister or "Flemstone" (sandpaper??) isn't bad at all, but jeez, if they are putting out there like that, I expect "big" things from him this year. We need delivery people, not just rhetoric! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SkinsHokie Fan Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 I love how he caught an ASTOUNDING 10 passes in 2002 while leading the Skins O to an ADMIRABLE ranking of 21st. However I did find the bear wrestling part very funny P.S I finally hit the 1.00 posts per day average! Been a goal of mine for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottb Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Caught a bullet with his fingers?????...I guess he might be ready for Ramsey's passes now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 If you honestly didn't edit that text Mick... that's quite possibly the worst tripe I've ever read. It's insulting to any Skins fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeletor The Invincible Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 gj Mick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPare Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 This is a joke, right? oh, I forgot... this is Mick we're talking about. Bring out the GIMP!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickalino Posted June 27, 2003 Author Share Posted June 27, 2003 Allright, since there's been a few people, and bound to be a few more, that are wondering if this is real, it's not. It's a parody. But it's not a prank, because my intent was not to deceive anyone. It was all made up, except for the stats - those are actual facts, with the exception of his 40 time. But I tried to make it obvious that it was a joke, so dont punish me for being a prankster again. I was merely making light of the fact that redskins.com creates super-fluff articles, and actually trying to get a point across with the overall write-up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blade Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 this is a great satire.....funny as hell Mick :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrangeSkin Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 The fact that so many people believed it speaks to the quality of Redskins.com. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Redskins fourth-year player Zeron Flemister has performed solidly and spectactularly at Tight-End the last three seasons. Flemister helped the Redskins offense attain an admirable 21st best offense in the NFL in 2002. He caught an astounding 10 passes in 2002. Cut me some slack. That's exactly what I read. After that last sentence... I tuned out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeletor The Invincible Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Ah, yes, the "tough to unseat" Walter Rasby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurent Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Haha no wonder Flemister got extended. Spurrier probably looked at the players profiles and figured it wouldn't hurt to have a 6'11" TE on the roster that can run 4.26 40s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdmiralWaugh Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 ROFL, encore, encore! Gouldski, hahah... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyDave Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 With stats like that, no wonder S double will adapt the fun and gun to take advantage of Zeron's awesome abilities Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 So at his current pace, Flemister will be averaging 50.96 yards per catch by the year 2006, which no doubt will drive him into the NFL Hall of Fame with the likes of Tight End Kellen Winslow. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That is my favorite part. Good work. But be careful, if you keep producing this you may be hired to write for the site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phat Hog Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Had me going there for a moment until I got to that "saw the bullet out of his left eye" $hit !! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reaganaut Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 And those idiot Giants, picking Shockey and all... now the record is straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dickens Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Well done.:notworthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SkinsHokie Fan Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Redskins.com is like those NFL Films videos previewing a team's season. NFL Films makes any 1-15 team look like it is on the verge of the Super Bowl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sippin2020 Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 I just can't wait 'till 2009 when "Flem" will be averaging 128.22 ypc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hitman56 Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief skin Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 The people at REDSKINS.COM desperately need a webmaster who is a DIEHARD Skins fan, then all this sissy, fluf and puff would end, this is FOOTBALL GET IN THE GAME!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickalino Posted June 28, 2003 Author Share Posted June 28, 2003 Yea it's a shame we can't find a happy medium with a news source. Either they're biased against us and anti-Redskin, or you get the "super-fluff" like redskins.com. The WP is ok but they take too many days off during the offseason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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