x96bryan10 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Wow the off season is loooooooong....So here trying to kill the monotony with giving everyone an excuse to take a shot at the cowboys for a few laughs .... My entire family is split down the middle Redskins vs Cowboys and i cant wait to see some of them to try a few out. :dallasuck here's mine: Four football fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team in the NFC East and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their football team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the New York fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Giants!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Eagles fan threw himself off the mountain, proclaiming "This is for Da Eagles!" Seeing this, the Redskin fan walked over and shouted "This is for everyone!" and pushed the Cowboy fan off the side of the mountain. ______________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Santana_Fan Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Wow the off season is loooooooong....So here trying to kill the monotony with giving everyone an excuse to take a shot at the cowboys for a few laughs .... My entire family is split down the middle Redskins vs Cowboys and i cant wait to see some of them to try a few out. :dallasuckhere's mine: Four football fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team in the NFC East and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their football team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the New York fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Giants!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Eagles fan threw himself off the mountain, proclaiming "This is for Da Eagles!" Seeing this, the Redskin fan walked over and shouted "This is for everyone!" and pushed the Cowboy fan off the side of the mountain. ______________________________ :hysterical: Good one, and different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x96bryan10 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboy fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and says, "Jenny, why didn't you raise your hand?" Jenny replied, "Because I'm not a Cowboy fan!" The still shocked teacher asked, "Well, if you aren't a Cowboy fan, then who are you a fan of?" Jenny answered, "I'm a Redskin fan and proud of it!" The teacher couldn't believe her ears. "Jenny, why in the world are you a Redskin fan?!" Jenny replied, "Because my mom is a Redskin fan, my dad is a Redskin fan, so I'm a Redskin fan, too!" The teacher answered in a slightly annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Redskin fan! You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?!" Jenny smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Dallas Cowboy fan!" :D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Edds Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboy fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and says, "Jenny, why didn't you raise your hand?" Jenny replied, "Because I'm not a Cowboy fan!" The still shocked teacher asked, "Well, if you aren't a Cowboy fan, then who are you a fan of?" Jenny answered, "I'm a Redskin fan and proud of it!" The teacher couldn't believe her ears. "Jenny, why in the world are you a Redskin fan?!" Jenny replied, "Because my mom is a Redskin fan, my dad is a Redskin fan, so I'm a Redskin fan, too!" The teacher answered in a slightly annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Redskin fan! You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?!" Jenny smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Dallas Cowboy fan!":D:D awesomesauce! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGoodBits Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 lol I liked the second one. I think I'd heard it before, but it's still great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rd421 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stugein Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Q: 3 Dallas Cowboys are riding along in a car. Who's driving? A: The cop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x96bryan10 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "200." "That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!" Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the lady answers, "145" "That is great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!" Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "50." Albert responds, "How about them Cowboy's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x96bryan10 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 Q: Why did Micheal Irvin really retire ? A: One of the conditions of his Probation was no interacting with other known felons ...so he couldn't get anywhere near the huddle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sideshow24 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 What has 8 girly slippery fingers, toe thumbs, and chokes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rd421 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Roses are Red Violets are Blue **** the COWBOYS!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bu7ch Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 What is a huddle called in Dallas? A drug ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbs Hog Heaven Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 A Redskin fan, a Cowboy fan and a Giants fan were in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death . However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Cowboy fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. He had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The Giant fan was next up (he almost finished an entire bottle by himself), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Giant fan out crying like a little girl. The Redskin fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate, and was most certainly responsible for getting the whiskey into the country in the first place), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said... "You support the greatest team in the world, you may have two wishes!" "Thanks, your Royal Highness," the 'Skins fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" he ask Replied the Redskin fan with a smirk: "Tie that ******* Texan to my back." Hail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S.T.real,lights,out Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 A Redskin fan, a Cowboy fan and a Giants fan were in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them.The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death . However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Cowboy fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. He had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The Giant fan was next up (he almost finished an entire bottle by himself), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Giant fan out crying like a little girl. The Redskin fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate, and was most certainly responsible for getting the whiskey into the country in the first place), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said... "You support the greatest team in the world, you may have two wishes!" "Thanks, your Royal Highness," the 'Skins fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" he ask Replied the Redskin fan with a smirk: "Tie that ******* Texan to my back." Hail. :laugh::laugh::laugh: Awesome!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRobi21 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 GHH wins the thread!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DGREENHULK Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 One of my favs from back in the day. I understand Chicago is trying to sign Michael Irvin. They got rid of the refrigerator, so now they want a coke machine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.