Guys who are "whipped"

[wysknz1]

I asked my wife if I could click on this thread and she allowed it. And, just for your information, she says I am NOT "whipped".

[Chachie]

Larry-

Well if he's whipped it won't change. He obviously puts being in a relationship with her above being independent-minded. Not everyone is. There are a lot of leaders in this world but not everyone can be a good follower. Without good followers there are no good leaders. Maybe she makes it up to him in the bedroom. Ya just never know. I know I'm not really giving great "advice" here and I apologize. I just figure we are all willing to sacrifice something to be with the ones we love and for this guy it's his society-expected male dominating role. It's a new age. I wouldn't let it get to you. He'll pay for it one day when she can't respect him anymore but he can't leave because she's got the management job and brings in all the dough.

[Hubbs]

I'm speaking mainly in response to this:

I was agreeing with this post, while also trying to say that there might be other reasons, like the whole trust thing, for why some women are controlling.

If a guy doesn't feel confident that he'll get another women, he might stay in a crappy relationship if he's one of the types that are afraid to be alone. But, if there are obvious alternatives, as you have said, he may be quicker to end the relationship and move on.

Ah. I gotcha. In that case, yeah, I pretty much agree, fear of being out of a relationship for any period of time can be a problem for some guys. And the reasons for one person in a relationship being controlling are too numerous to count - that doesn't really have a lot to do with viable alternatives (although they still play a part).

We're talking about self-esteem. A person with low self-esteem is very likely to not recognize that he is being hit on, even when those around him think its obvious (conversely, the guy with more self-esteem than he should have may think every girl, even when she just smiles at him, is hitting on him). Even if he does recognize the fact, that person might feel the effort to "close the deal" is not worth it (this is very likely to occur if he is depressed). I've only once seen an attractive girl hit on a guy so strongly that no effort was required on his part and I think she was drunk. Also, depending on your needs, just because she's physically attractive, does not mean she will fill those needs. Finally, most of the attractive girls I know who would actually hit on a guy and mean it (aside from already having some sort of deeper relationship), are pretty assertive and probably wouldn't go after a wimp.

Seems like the thread is about any reason for guys to be whipped, not specifically self-esteem. And I think you're assuming that I'm trying to say being hit on is purely a matter of physical attractiveness. It's not. Confident guys who are 6's get more female attention than wimpy guys who are 8's. But I doubt you, or anyone here, would try to say that, on the whole, guys don't hit on girls in an obvious manner a lot more than vice-versa. And one of the effects of this difference is that, again on the whole, any given girl in a relationship is much more likely to have some thought like, "Well, if he doesn't do what I want, there are always X and Y and Z as other options" in the back of her mind.

(That's not to say that X and Y and Z are actually interested in a relationship with her. But much more often than not, she'll assume that they are.)

Meanwhile, any given guy in a relationship is much more likely to have a thought like, "I guess I should try to keep her happy, I don't know how long it'll be until I find someone else interested in me" in the back of his mind.

And if you've only seen an attractive girl make a blatant pass at a guy before, you're living in a much different world than I. (I'm not surrounded by male and female models desperate to bang each other, either.)

[ChocolateCitySkin]

He should tell her "Don't be that girl, no one likes that girl."

I've found that squelches it about 90% of the time.

Edit: Emphasis on THAT girl....say it "Don't be THAT girl, no one likes THAT girl."

If she's smart, she knows exactly who THAT girl is and realizes she's being THAT girl and no one really does like her.

Unless she doesn't give a crap, then you can't win.

Great thing about that phrase is that you can use it in practically any given situation.

CCS gives that two thumbs up under blanket mind**** phrases to say to girls :thumbsup::thumbsup: