Funny quotes from the IRC (NSFW)

[chomerics]

Some good ones haha. . .

http://www.bash.org/?top

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?

<TheXPhial> vaccuums

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?

<TheXPhial> black holes

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?

<TheXPhial> lava?

<anamexis> oh man

<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right

--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind

<anamexis> and it exploded

<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard

<anamexis> but I got it away just in time

<-- Beefpile has quit (sick ****ers)

<anamexis> :<

<Pax> I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.

<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.

<Ben174> : Where u work?

<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com

*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert

<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating

<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?

<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...

[MonkFan8]

Haha, been a while since I've looked over those. My personal favorite:

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK

<tatclass> er.

<tatclass> hi.

<andy\code> A common typo.

<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

[Buford T. Justice]

The last one is amusing.

[Skins24]

Some good ones haha. . .

<anamexis> oh man

<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right

--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind

<anamexis> and it exploded

<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard

<anamexis> but I got it away just in time

<-- Beefpile has quit (sick ****ers)

<anamexis> :<

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.

<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.

<Ben174> : Where u work?

<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com

*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

:laugh: :laugh:

[rumpshakers]

:munchout:

All righty then....

[Skins24]

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me

GarbageStan23: why?

Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.

Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!

GarbageStan23: oh sh**!

Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever

Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....

Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler

<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown

<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown

<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews

<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z

<JonTG> wait, s***

[chomerics]

<Bubbaprog> you know nothing of men :-)

<Calisa> I know that it's not appropriate to masturbate when you're in the same room as your daughter, thinking it's okay because you think she's asleep.

<Calisa> I know something!

<Calisa> He stopped every now and then when he heard my sister shifting.

<asshat> thats good parenting

[jrockster21]

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z

<JonTG> wait, s***

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[iheartskins]

I thought this was going to be amusing quotes of the Internal Revenue Code--and I was going to say "WTF?!"

[chomerics]

I thought this was going to be amusing quotes of the Internal Revenue Code--and I was going to say "WTF?!"

LMAO, you need to get out of the city

[Mufumonk]

No love for Bloodninja?

http://www.bloodninja.org/list.php?verified=true

I put on my robe and wizard hat......

<bloodninja> Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

<j_gurli3> thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

<bloodninja> A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

<j_gurli3> haha, ok lets go.

<j_gurli3> i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

<bloodninja> I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

<j_gurli3> haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

<j_gurli3> i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

<bloodninja> Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

<j_gurli3> No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

<bloodninja> Rhinoceruses don't play games. They ****ing charge your ass.

<j_gurli3> stop, cmon be serious.

<bloodninja> It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

<bloodninja> I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

<j_gurli3> thats it.

<bloodninja> Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

[Skins24]

No love for Bloodninja?

http://www.bloodninja.org/list.php?verified=true

I put on my robe and wizard hat......

lol, that was funny!

The ones on that site :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

That's one funny guy

[Sweet Sassy Molassy]

No love for Bloodninja?

http://www.bloodninja.org/list.php?verified=true

I put on my robe and wizard hat......

Bloodninja is classic stuff.