I am NASCAR retarded...Help me out!

[RememberOsaka]

So there seems to be a lot of buzz around this race down in Daytona this weekend.

I believe that I carry a latent redneck gene and with a little help I could begin to understand the glorious world of NASCAR.

A few questions that I beg to be answered by those in the know....

1. There seems to be a lot of discussion about "Toyota" cars. Other than the fact that they originate in Japan and this is pretty much the Super Bowl of auto racing...is there something else I should know? What kind of Toyota will they be running? Corolla? Camry? What's the big deal?

2. The pole position....does it really matter where they start on the track? What is the benefit to being in front at the beginning of the race? Do cars that start at the front win more often or it like a horse race where the stronger car always outruns them in the stretch run?

3. After a wreck all the cars go around the track real slow....wasn't there like "Brandon Lloyd on a deep route separation" BEFORE the wreck? Why are they all bunched together like the Skins D-line on a 4th and 1 from the goalline? Why did Brandon Lloyd get screwed when he had a step on his man and the only thing left to do was drop the ball???

4. Is Jeff Gordon really gay?

5. When you watch a race live without the benefit of television graphics...how the hell do you keep track of the race to see who's winning?

6. Does Joe Gibbs refer to Tony Stewart as "super smart" and say that he "fight his guts out" in the presser after every race? Did he really beat someone up for saying he was "fat" ?

Edit: Yes...I've had a few drinks.

[Spaceman Spiff]

There's a joke about being "NASCAR retarded" somewhere in there...

[Teller]

So there seems to be a lot of buzz around this race down in Daytona this weekend.

I believe that I carry a latent redneck gene and with a little help I could begin to understand the glorious world of NASCAR.

A few questions that I beg to be answered by those in the know....

1. There seems to be a lot of discussion about "Toyota" cars. Other than the fact that they originate in Japan and this is pretty much the Super Bowl of auto racing...is there something else I should know? What kind of Toyota will they be running? Corolla? Camry? What's the big deal?

First of all, embrace your inner redneck. Looks like you've already taken the first step.

Toyota is running what they call a Camry, but as you can tell by the look of the cars, there's nothing that's factory-Camry about it. The engine blocks for all the cars are still produced by their respective manufacturer, but then the teams take the block and build their own engines.

The big deal is that NASCAR has always been primarily a southern-U.S. sport. There's lots of history and tradition, and most of it has centered around the big three American manufacturers. There was some backlash last year when Toyota broke in, mainly because the traditionalists didn't want Japanese cars involved. But I think we're moving beyond that.

2. The pole position....does it really matter where they start on the track? What is the benefit to being in front at the beginning of the race? Do cars that start at the front win more often or it like a horse race where the stronger car always outruns them in the stretch run?

It does matter, to an extent. The benefit to being out front early on at Daytona is avoiding "the big one." At tracks with restrictor plates (which limit the RPMs the engine can produce) the cars are generally bunched together more tightly than non-plate tracks. Thus, when an accident occurs, it takes out more cars. The fewer cars you have ahead of you, the less likely you are to get caught in the big one.

Other than that, it's not super-important to start up front. The first couple of rounds of pit stops will juggle the field up a bit, and ultimately the strongest cars will work their way to the front. Qualifying at Daytona is a little bit more indicative of the race though, since they run two 150-lap qualifiers to set the field. So qualifying at Daytona is more under race conditions than other tracks.

3. After a wreck all the cars go around the track real slow....wasn't there like "Brandon Lloyd on a deep route separation" BEFORE the wreck? Why are they all bunched together like the Skins D-line on a 4th and 1 from the goalline? Why did Brandon Lloyd get screwed when he had a step on his man and the only thing left to do was drop the ball???

After a crash, the pace car comes out, and the field is put under "caution." This is basically for the safety of the track rescue and maintenance crews as they tend to the drivers and damaged vehicles. You can imagine what it would be like trying to tow a totalled race car off the track with other cars whizzing by at 190 MPH. Not good.

If a wreck is bad enough, they'll throw a red flag, and bring the field to a complete stop. Again, this is for safety, and ultimately, that's the most important thing in a race.

Are cautions and red flags 'fair?' Probably not. Especially if it's your guy with the big lead. But again, it beats the alternative of someone getting hurt.

4. Is Jeff Gordon really gay?

No. Jeff Gordon is the New York Yankees or the New England Patriots (minus spygate). Fans of other teams (including myself) hate him because he wins. It's that simple.

5. When you watch a race live without the benefit of television graphics...how the hell do you keep track of the race to see who's winning?

There's a scoring tower in the infield that lists the running order top to bottom. Also there is a PA announcer who helps keep you up to date, kind of like at a football game.

6. Does Joe Gibbs refer to Tony Stewart as "super smart" and say that he "fight his guts out" after every race?

Coach Gibbs is actually pretty quiet when it comes to his NASCAR teams. But yeah, his personality is pretty consistent. You won't find him criticizing his teams or his drivers very often; more complaining about bad breaks if anything.

*

Once you get into NASCAR, if you choose too Osaka, you'll be hooked. Not only do the things you mentioned above make for enjoyable storylines, but there are some great rivalries between drivers, fans, teams, the whole nine yards. Throw that together with the best drivers in the world, and you can't help but fall in love. Enjoy it.

[RememberOsaka]

Thanks HH !!! Those were the burning questions I had. A few years ago I was in Charlotte over Memorial Day for the Coca Cola 600??? Craziest **** I've ever seen was all the pickemup trucks on the highway with the steel bars in the bed so they could put their plywood platforms up to stand on and watch the race. Any advice on what other modifications I'd need to make to my vehicle to enjoy a NASCAR tailgate and race day experience?

[Teller]

Thanks HH !!! Those were the burning questions I had. A few years ago I was in Charlotte over Memorial Day for the Coca Cola 600??? Craziest **** I've ever seen was all the pickemup trucks on the highway with the steel bars in the bed so they could put their plywood platforms up to stand on and watch the race. Any advice on what other modifications I'd need to make to my vehicle to enjoy a NASCAR tailgate and race day experience?

Honestly, as much as I love NASCAR, I've never been to a race. I'm hoping to change that with a trip to Dover, and possibly Charlotte this year.

I would imagine the tailgating varies by track. For instance, at Daytona, there's plenty of room in the infield to park trucks and RVs and people basically 'camp' for most of the week.

At the smaller tracks, like Bristol, I'd imagine most of the tailgating goes on outside.

If you get a chance, check out halter's thread on www.redskin-roadtrips.com He's trying to set up the Dover trip for us this year. The more the merrier!

[RememberOsaka]

Are cautions and red flags 'fair?' Probably not. Especially if it's your guy with the big lead. But again, it beats the alternative of someone getting hurt.

I'm not sure if I'm down with that.

That would be like going up 17-3 on the Giants at halftime and then only being allowed to call running plays while the Giants got back on their feet. Like that would ever happen in football. Nevermind.

[Teller]

I'm not sure if I'm down with that.

That would be like going up 17-3 on the Giants at halftime and then only being allowed to call running plays. Like that would ever happen in football. Nevermind.

And that's why cautions can be a BIG source of debate and contention in NASCAR.

Take last year's 500, for example.

Generally, when an accident begins to happen, NASCAR throws the caution immediately so that other drivers can 'check up' (i.e. slow down) and avoid the wreck in front of them. As soon as the caution flies, the field is 'locked in' in their current running order. (Also, the first guy one lap down gets placed back on the lead lap. It's called the 'lucky dog.')

Anyway, that rule changed a few years ago, also for safety's sake. Drivers used to be allowed to 'race back to the line' when the caution came out. But again, it's safer if there's an accident on the track, not to have guys still racing as hard as they can.

So at last year's 500, Mark Martin was leading, coming off of turn four when there was a spin behind him. Ordinarily, that would have brought out an instant caution, and Martin would have won the race.

Instead, NASCAR held off on throwing the caution, and Kevin Harvick beat Martin by about a foot. The Martin fans were pissed because they (read: we) felt that the caution should have been thrown, and Martin should of won.

Most of the rest of the NASCAR community thought it was a good decision to let the guys race it out to the end.

Also, don't forget that cautions lead to a lot of strategy too, so the drivers aren't at a complete disadvantage. The guy on the point when the green flag waves can either gun it right away, and try to pull away; or he can lay back a little, and try to lull the guys behind him to sleep before taking off. (You can't pass on a restart until you cross the start/finish line, despite the fact that the green generally waves near the beginning of the front-sretch.)

Like I said, cautions suck when your guy's out front. There just a fact of life.

[Helter_Skelter]

H_H, you gotta get to a race man. I've been to Richmond and Charlotte a couple times. The 600 in May is AWESOME. Just dont forget the earplugs or you will go deaf for a couple days

[Teller]

H_H, you gotta get to a race man. I've been to Richmond and Charlotte a couple times. The 600 in May is AWESOME. Just dont forget the earplugs or you will go deaf for a couple days

Yeah. I think I'm going to Dover with RR crew, and my cousin usually goes to Charlotte, so I think I'm gonna hit the 600 with him.

I need to snag a cheap scanner somewhere.

[Ax]

I'm not the Nascar fan some of my family are (They know the names of the pit crews children) but I do enjoy it, from time to time. A couple things HH didn't mention, though I'm sure he knows more about it than I.

1. There seems to be a lot of discussion about "Toyota" cars. Other than the fact that they originate in Japan and this is pretty much the Super Bowl of auto racing...is there something else I should know? What kind of Toyota will they be running? Corolla? Camry? What's the big deal?

Since Nascar is now using "The Car of Tomorrow" there are fewer differences than ever between the cars. Nascar is so far away from it's roots now, it doesn't matter much which name is on the car.

Unless it's a Ford.

2. The pole position....does it really matter where they start on the track? What is the benefit to being in front at the beginning of the race? Do cars that start at the front win more often or it like a horse race where the stronger car always outruns them in the stretch run?

The Winston, er um, Nextel Cup chase is a points based competition. You get points for winning the pole. Also, this being a restrictor plate race (Ask HH) the chances of the pole sitter leading the first lap of the race is pretty damn good, which also gets you some points.

3. After a wreck all the cars go around the track real slow....wasn't there like "Brandon Lloyd on a deep route separation" BEFORE the wreck? Why are they all bunched together like the Skins D-line on a 4th and 1 from the goalline? Why did Brandon Lloyd get screwed when he had a step on his man and the only thing left to do was drop the ball???

They also line up in either single file, or in two separate lines. HH probably knows why.

4. Is Jeff Gordon really gay?

Of course he's gay. Plus, if you look close, his kid looks more like Jimmie Johnson.

5. When you watch a race live without the benefit of television graphics...how the hell do you keep track of the race to see who's winning?

You look for the big breasted women wearing t-shirts of their favorite drivers. When they start jumping up and down, you know that guy's doing "purty good".

6. Does Joe Gibbs refer to Tony Stewart as "super smart" and say that he "fight his guts out" in the presser after every race?

Yes he does. The only thing he does differently is, instead saying "Up here", he says, "Down here".

[Teller]

The Winston, er um, Nextel Cup chase is a points based competition.

The NASCAR Sprint Cup is too. (That's going to take me at least another two years to get used to.)

Oh, and unless something changed, you don't get points for winning the pole. You do, however, as you pointed out, get 5 points for leading at least one lap, and 5 more if you lead the most.

And man. You're absolutely right about the COT. I was just discussing with a buddy how much we miss the days when you could see the shape of a car and know what make it was.

[Ax]

The NASCAR Sprint Cup is too. (That's going to take me at least another two years to get used to.)

Oh, and unless something changed, you don't get points for winning the pole. You do, however, as you pointed out, get 5 points for leading at least one lap, and 5 more if you lead the most.

And man. You're absolutely right about the COT. I was just discussing with a buddy how much we miss the days when you could see the shape of a car and know what make it was.

Damn! they changed the name again?

And, did I say, points for winning the pole? I meant to say, "WTF do I know? Ask HH!" :laugh:

[CHUBAKAH]

LMAO, you guys crack me up. TBH I completely understand why people think NASCAR is a joke. I was a huge NHRA fan and couldn't stand NASCAR. How boring going in circles lap after lap. Then two buddies of mine kidnapped me and took me to Dover for 4 days. That was 1980, and I have been hooked ever since.

Until you see this in person, it is very hard to appreciate the skill that is involved in driving one of these bad boys.

My brother in law was just sent by one of his contractors to NASCAR driving school down in Richmond as a gift. He used to hate NASCAR, now he can't stop talking about it.

[Teller]

Damn! they changed the name again?

And, did I say, points for winning the pole? I meant to say, "WTF do I know? Ask HH!" :laugh:

Nah, you covered it pretty good. Hell, I left the COT out all together, and uh, that kinda matters. :laugh:

LMAO, you guys crack me up. TBH I completely understand why people think NASCAR is a joke. I was a huge NHRA fan and couldn't stand NASCAR. How boring going in circles lap after lap. Then two buddies of mine kidnapped me and took me to Dover for 4 days. That was 1980, and I have been hooked ever since.

Until you see this in person, it is very hard to appreciate the skill that is involved in driving one of these bad boys.

So wait. You thought it took LESS skill to go in circles for four hours than it did to go STRAIGHT for a couple of seconds? :laugh:

[CHUBAKAH]

So wait. You thought it took LESS skill to go in circles for four hours than it did to go STRAIGHT for a couple of seconds? :laugh:

On TV, it does not look that fast. If you have "Never seen a race in person" you have no idea what your missing, or have missed.

It's very hard to get an appreciation for it not seeing it live, but when you do, you'll have a whole new respect for what they do.

Trust me on that one.

[Teller]

On TV, it does not look that fast. If you have "Never seen a race in person" you have no idea what your missing, or have missed.

It's very hard to get an appreciation for it not seeing it live, but when you do, you'll have a whole new respect for what they do.

Trust me on that one.

Oh, I don't doubt that a bit. It's just a good thing that I don't need to have seen a race live to kick your ass in fantasy.

I do know this. Battling two, three and sometimes four wide with 43 other guys at 190 MPH for four freaking hours, takes more skill than 'gas, shift, shift, shift, done,' in 6 seconds.

Wanna fight about it? :redpunch:

[CHUBAKAH]

I do know this. Battling two, three and sometimes four wide with 43 other guys at 190 MPH for four freaking hours, takes more skill than 'gas, shift, shift, shift, done,' in 6 seconds.

It's down to 4 seconds, and the degree of danger is much higher in a drag car at 328MPH.

Way more adrenaline!

Wookie --> <--Hog

[Teller]

It's down to 4 seconds, and the degree of danger is much higher in a drag car at 328MPH.

Way more adrenaline!

Wookie --> <--Hog

So by your standards, Super G > football?

[CHUBAKAH]

So by your standards, Super G > football?

Pretty much, but I would rather go to a live NHRA event than a football game any day of the week.

Redskins are big here basically because they are the only game in town. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Redskins football, I just let it consume me like some people do, and have far more hobbies, and likes in other sports.

Hell, I'd rather go to a NASCAR race than go to a football game. Now those fans know how to throw a tailgate party!

[THEREALTOR1]

Hope to see quite a few members for the Dover Race. Been to several, Truck and Busch races, but never to a Sunday. It's actually much better to watch on TV, otherwise plan on spending a full day at the track. If you've never been to one, you definetly want to do it at least once. Went to the 2nd Busch race last year, good race, got drunk, twisted my ankle, lost 500 bones at the slots, all and all i'd say a full day.

[Teller]

Hope to see quite a few members for the Dover Race. Been to several, Truck and Busch races, but never to a Sunday. It's actually much better to watch on TV, otherwise plan on spending a full day at the track. If you've never been to one, you definetly want to do it at least once. Went to the 2nd Busch race last year, good race, got drunk, twisted my ankle, lost 500 bones at the slots, all and all i'd say a full day.

:laugh:

Sounds like you did it up right. Rest assured if a decent sized group of us gets down there, we'll tear it up too.

[SkinsBry]

I need to snag a cheap scanner somewhere.

http://www.radioshack.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2180625&cp=2032052.2032072&parentPage=family

I got this scanner and headset and I have no complaints.

Just don't get the scanner that looks like a cd player, I haven't heard anything good about them.

[Teller]

http://www.radioshack.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2180625&cp=2032052.2032072&parentPage=family

I got this scanner and headset and I have no complaints.

Just don't get the scanner that looks like a cd player, I haven't heard anything good about them.

Sweet!!

That's just what I was looking for! And I figured it would be $70 minimum. Thanks a lot, man. I'll be picking that up for sure.

[chipwhich]

I have seen one race in person (Dover) and I still don't get the draw. I had the full monty so to speak. My cousin from Tenn who is a huge Nascar fan got me tent passes prior to the race where I got to meet a driver (nobody big) get his autograph, free beer, food, etc. I got pit passes, got to go on the track prior to the race, etc.

This was when it was still Winston Cup.

My first sign of Nascar upon my arrival was the "giveaway" when you signed up for a credit card...A carton of Winston cigarettes. The only event I have been to in my life where cigs were a giveaway.

Some things I noticed during the race. For the most part Nascar is a money sport. Most of the "stock" cars on the track don't have a chance in he!! of winning. Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, etc have superior vehicles. They lap these cars that don't have big money sponsors like they are sitting still. You have to be a good driver, but if you don't have a good car you wont win races. I could have put Gordon in 10 or so vehicles on the track that day and he would have been run out of town.

It made me crazy that every time there is a drop of oil/gas/whatever on the track the race stops and the pacecar comes out. If you are in the lead and you are almost a full lap in front of the next group of cars, and the pace car comes out...everybody catches up to you.

There's a scoring tower in the infield that lists the running order top to bottom. Also there is a PA announcer who helps keep you up to date, kind of like at a football game.

The scoring tower in Dover only showed maybe the top 6 in the race I believe. So if your new and you want to know where your driver stands, Say Dale Earnhardt, and he is not in the top 6...well you wont have a clue. As for listening to the PA Announcer, good luck it's too loud.

The drivers are driving at such a high rate of speed, and the track is at such an angle that the driver would have no chance at looking up into the stands....yet some clown everytime Gordon passed, stood up and gave him the finger.

If you go, get yourself a scanner and the drivers frequencies. Thats the only way to really hear/know whats going on.

The only thing I was impressed with is 120K+++ people rolling into a little town of Dover. The shear quantity of people is impressive.

In the end, with the wrecks and all, I found it pretty boring.

[DieselPwr44]

WOW..

Wrestling on Wheels. That's all you need to know about NASCAR.

The only sport that changes it's rules week to week depending on which make of car they want to have success.