AlexRS Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 Your 2 year old keeps turning the cool looking knobs on the front of the stove. Take off the cool looking knobs and give them to the child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raub Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 I have my kids on the duct tape and gag plan. Seems to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCsportsfan53 Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 What did the child shoplift?What did the child answer when you asked the child "why did you do it?" I'm not sure those are really important details so much as the fact that you're talking to them about it. That's my point, you can't just let it slide, you have to sit him down and ask those questions and explain to him why he was wrong. If he didn't know any better, then you probably just explain to him that it's not acceptable and why. If he did know better and STILL did it, then some kind of punishment is probably in order. Maybe that would be making the child return the stolen item and apologize to the store owner. I think that would be more effective than hitting the kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 What did the child shoplift?What did the child answer when you asked the child "why did you do it?" The motivation is inconsequential. The action was wrong. Presumably, if you've done your job, the child knows it's wrong. That being the case, punishment is forthcoming. There's no rationalizing this away. Do you have children? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrabR Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 I have never understood the need to inflict corporal punishment on children, you can punish them with out inflicting physical pain. If I spanked my wife when she did something I did not approve of I would go to jail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 The motivation is inconsequential. The action was wrong. Presumably, if you've done your job, the child knows it's wrong. That being the case, punishment is forthcoming. There's no rationalizing this away. Your job as a parent is: a) train your child by linking "wrong behavior" with a "negative experience" teach your child to think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 Take off the cool looking knobs and give them to the child And exactly what does the child learn from removing the knobs? You can't always be there to remove the dangers. You have to teach your children what the dangers are and that they are to avoid them. Sometimes it takes negative reinforcment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taylor 36 Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 It is interesting that vast majority of you think that punishment is necessary. Is it really? To decide where punishment is appropriate, you have to know what's going on in child's head, right? Let's make sure that you do. Let's do this. Describe a situation where a punishment is necessary. Let me ask you some questions about it... Discipline is neccesary. People spend a lot of time talking about the screw ups of society that claim they were abused as children (there is always an excuse), but hardly any time is spent on those who are criminals that admit that they wish they would have been disciplined because it would have helped them lead better lives. If you look at and compare stats (education, crimes, etc.) from past generations with current ones, you will see an overwhelming decline in education and the ed. system, and an increase in crime for the present, compared to those generations and times when disciplining was the norm and not looked down upon. Even the infamous Dr. Spock, the man who started the whole hippy don't discipline movement, recanted before his death and said that he and his findings were wrong and detremental to a functioning society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 Your job as a parent is:a) train your child by linking "wrong behavior" with a "negative experience" teach your child to think Your job is to use whichever method is appropriate for the age of the child and what works for them. Every child is different. They develop and respond differently. a and b are used together to achieve the result that your child grows to be capable of understanding that actions can have negative consequences, so they should think before acting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 If he did know better and STILL did it, then some kind of punishment is probably in order. Maybe that would be making the child return the stolen item and apologize to the store owner. I think that would be more effective than hitting the kid. Know better or not - there is still a reason why the child did that. Talking to the child about that reason will lead the child to self-reflect. This is the very important distinction I am making. The child learns by self-reflection rather then associating behavior with punishment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 Your job is to use whichever method is appropriate for the age of the child and what works for them. Every child is different. They develop and respond differently. a and b are used together to achieve the result that your child grows to be capable of understanding that actions can have negative consequences, so they should think before acting. Is it parent's job to CREATE these negative consequences? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 Discipline is neccesary. People spend a lot of time talking about the screw ups of society that claim they were abused as children (there is always an excuse), but hardly any time is spent on those who are criminals that admit that they wish they would have been disciplined because it would have helped them lead better lives.If you look at and compare stats (education, crimes, etc.) from past generations with current ones, you will see an overwhelming decline in education and the ed. system, and an increase in crime for the present, compared to those generations and times when disciplining was the norm and not looked down upon. Even the infamous Dr. Spock, the man who started the whole hippy don't discipline movement, recanted before his death and said that he and his findings were wrong and detremental to a functioning society. Discipline is a SYMPTOM of good parenting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 Is it parent's job to CREATE these negative consequences? When necessary. Young children don't have the capacity to learn by self reflection. This is a ridiculous notion. Do you have kids? Edit: I suppose I could let my 2 year old reach up and touch that pot of boiling water so that I could avoid being the source of the negative consequence. He'd certainly learn the lesson. :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 Young children don't have the capacity to learn by self reflection. This is a ridiculous notion. interesting.... Can you give me a situation where a child does not have the capacity for self-reflection and you think a punishment is appropriate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 interesting....Can you give me a situation where a child does not have the capacity for self-reflection and you think a punishment is appropriate? As soon as you answer my question. Do you have kids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 As soon as you answer my question. Do you have kids? Let's say my answer is No. What's next? Let's say my answer is Yes. What's next? ---------- edit: what I mean to say is, if you have a point - go ahead and assume whatever answer you need to hear in order to make it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Prime Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 It seems we often think of our kids as we would of dogs and cats.We try to train them by punishment. We try to create a negative experience in them somehow. If the negative experience gets linked to the unwanted action, children would be trained to avoid that action. Similar to putting puppie's mug into his own excrement in order to teach him to go outside. It seems our children deserve better than that. It seems way too many adults still struggle with overcoming childhood trauma caused by this process. I can count on 1 hand the times I was spanked as a kid.. It tought me that my actions had consequences. Which is what kids lack these days.. They think they can get away with anything and nothing bad will happen. I got caught smoking - spanked.. Now I don't smoke.. I stole a Star Wars figure from a store - Got spanked, now I don't steal. Those are the lessons I remember well not because I'm scarred emotionally, because now as an adult I realize my dad was right. He didn't spank me because he thought it was fun.. he spanked me because I did something bad and when you do something bad, you should be punished. I've seen how my way works and how other's parent's way works.. I'll take my way. My son is "sir" and "maam" to his elders. We take him some where he askes for something if we say no he doesn't throw a fit or pout. He's a perfect kid. Now I have friends who when we take our kids out they are bouncing off the walls, telling their parent's no and back talking. What do they get? Time out.. Time out's don't work. Taking something away doesn't work. Spanking? It works. I'm not talking about beating. Spanking and violently beating someone are two different things. I spank my son, give him some time to think about what happened then we discuss it so he knows exactly what is expected of him. There's nothing wrong with that.. I get the feeling you don't have any children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Prime Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 Let's say my answer is No. What's next?Let's say my answer is Yes. What's next? If your answer is no then you need to stfu.. If your answer is yes then you need to realize what is best for YOUR child.. I've seen kids stuck in time out while in there they are telling their mother's to go F themselves. This bull**** crap people are shoveling doesn't work. America is raising a bunch of hellions with no discipline or moron judgement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 I can count on 1 hand the times I was spanked as a kid.. It tought me that my actions had consequences. Which is what kids lack these days.. They think they can get away with anything and nothing bad will happen. I got caught smoking - spanked.. Now I don't smoke.. I stole a Star Wars figure from a store - Got spanked, now I don't steal. Those are the lessons I remember well not because I'm scarred emotionally, because now as an adult I realize my dad was right. He didn't spank me because he thought it was fun.. he spanked me because I did something bad and when you do something bad, you should be punished. I've seen how my way works and how other's parent's way works.. I'll take my way. My son is "sir" and "maam" to his elders. We take him some where he askes for something if we say no he doesn't throw a fit or pout. He's a perfect kid. Now I have friends who when we take our kids out they are bouncing off the walls, telling their parent's no and back talking. What do they get? Time out.. Time out's don't work. Taking something away doesn't work. Spanking? It works. I'm not talking about beating. Spanking and violently beating someone are two different things. I spank my son, give him some time to think about what happened then we discuss it so he knows exactly what is expected of him. There's nothing wrong with that.. I get the feeling you don't have any children. I was spanked as a child as well, and I think my parents were right for doing it. Are there other, perhaps more effective ways of achieving the same goal? Just something to think about... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinsbuck Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 OMG - It kills me to see a parent that is not willing to punish their child/s. From my experience I've come to the conclusion that little people with little problems grow up to be big people with big problems. Discipline is the cure. As a parent, we only have a few years to teach our children everything possible before they fly the coupe. Do whatever is necessary to turn your little ones into good, strong, honest, big people. If you don't you're not doing your child or society any good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Prime Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 interesting....Can you give me a situation where a child does not have the capacity for self-reflection and you think a punishment is appropriate? You've invalidated your entire arguement with this statement.. Kids don't self reflect. They are reactive and outwardly observant. Your speaking about a topic you have no clue about and need to put a cork in it before you make yourself look like a bigger fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 If your answer is no then you need to stfu.. If your answer is yes then you need to realize what is best for YOUR child.. I've seen kids stuck in time out while in there they are telling their mother's to go F themselves. This bull**** crap people are shoveling doesn't work. America is raising a bunch of hellions with no discipline or moron judgement. Discipline is not good parenting in itself. Discipline as just one of the symptoms of good parenting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taylor 36 Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 As a father and a teacher, I can tell you that it is obvious he doesn't have any children, nor does he work with any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurd Cudins Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds. :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 You've invalidated your entire arguement with this statement.. Kids don't self reflect. They are reactive and outwardly observant. Your speaking about a topic you have no clue about and need to put a cork in it before you make yourself look like a bigger fool. What do you say to kids when you punish them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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