Ax Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Did a search and didn't see this anywhere. Got this in an email, hadn't seen it before, so here it is. MEN STRIKE BACK!!! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kichen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was ALWAYS. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.Then God created Man and rested. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeSellers45 Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Thats funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjcdaman Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Those were hilarious! I'll take a guess and say some overly sensitive person will take offense to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ax Posted March 5, 2006 Author Share Posted March 5, 2006 Those were hilarious! I'll take a guess and say some overly sensitive person will take offense to it. And they'll just have to get over themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Bravo! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCRunner Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Okay, even I thought these were very funny. Untrue. But funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Okay, even I thought these were very funny. Untrue. But funny. Which one wasn't true? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrypticVillain Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. :laugh: :laugh: That was the funniest one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meetST Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taylor 36 Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 They were great. I read them to my wife and she got a kick out of most of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCRunner Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Which one wasn't true? All of them. :laugh: Okay, I think that wedding cake one may be true but that's just cause men are stupid about who they marry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 All of them. :laugh: Okay, I think that wedding cake one may be true but that's just cause men are stupid about who they marry. You mean your oven doesn't have a clock on it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 You mean your oven doesn't have a clock on it? :laugh: :notworthy :applause: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Punani2 Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Those were hilarious! I'll take a guess and say some overly sensitive person will take offense to it. that is usually what happens... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 What do you tell a woman with two black eyes??? Nothing. She's already been told twice. (don't get pissed...I'm not a wife beater, it's just a joke) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 What do you tell a woman with two black eyes???Nothing. She's already been told twice. (don't get pissed...I'm not a wife beater, it's just a joke) I like Dave Atell's take on that joke: "I approach this woman at a bar, and I see she has a black eye - and i'm thinking 'great, she doesn't listen.'" :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgiaredskin Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Did I miss it? Exactly what are we striking back from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Did I miss it? Exactly what are we striking back from? Now you've opened the can. Refer to my PM from the other day, so I don't have to get the rest of "your kind" all riled up too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgiaredskin Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Now you've opened the can. Refer to my PM from the other day, so I don't have to get the rest of "your kind" all riled up too. My kind? You mean the kind that loves beyotches and ho's? Dude, lay off the Starbucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjcdaman Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Okay, even I thought these were very funny. Untrue. But funny. To sit there and point out that these are untue means A) you are a female or I can't think of any reason why you would imply that they are untrue. :laugh: It's all in fun. Everyone of them are true or else they would not have been posted on the most widely used tool for honest truth in this world...the Internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hokie4redskins Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 Those were hilarious! I'll take a guess and say some overly sensitive person will take offense to it. Another day in the life of the Tailgate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadkill Posted March 5, 2006 Share Posted March 5, 2006 How many (insert whatever state or country) women does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They look better in the dark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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