DeanCollins Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Do you SERIOUSLY believe parenting is a faceless process? I should have taken this route. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Please try not to get caught up on words.Of course it if a very facefull process where faces of both parents are very involved in teaching kids love and compassion. Love and compassion that they have, love and compassion that they will pass to them. That is called parenting. Then you would look at their parenting and judge it to be "good." I suppose I'm confused here too. It appears you are simply putting forth a semantic arguement. I'm not sure what your purpose in doing so is. Good parents find the proper balance between providing love/nurturing to their children and teaching them relevant life lessons. Bad parents go to one extreme, either over-indulging their kids or ignoring/abusing them. You may wish to come up with different terms for these different types of parents, but to me that's neither here nor there. I don't see your point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUNSTONE Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Anyone see the movie Cybal(sp?)? I wonder what personality I'm talking to now?:insane: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Alex, do you really not consider this bad parenting? or this? NO WIRE HANGERS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rictus58 Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I suppose I'm confused here too. It appears you are simply putting forth a semantic arguement. I'm not sure what your purpose in doing so is. I think that may be the root argument...but why not address the issue of semantics directly. I asked initially what his angle was...never got a response to that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Tater Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 AlexRS, By your own definition, you are stating that parenting can be assigned a good/bad signal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 I suppose I'm confused here too. It appears you are simply putting forth a semantic arguement. I'm not sure what your purpose in doing so is.Good parents find the proper balance between providing love/nurturing to their children and teaching them relevant life lessons. Bad parents go to one extreme, either over-indulging their kids or ignoring/abusing them. You may wish to come up with different terms for these different types of parents, but to me that's neither here nor there. I don't see your point. We often think about it like this: A + B + C = good parenting D + E + F = bad parenting (and I'm not talking about grades here, although that too :laugh: ) What if we zoom out? What's really happening here? This would be easy to put in Evolutionary terms... Survival is the one and only "true gauge" of evolutionary success. We survived - we are successful. We now need to make our children the same, so that they can be successful as well. Do you see? The process is not "good" or "bad" - ultimate sign of success is survival. We simply recreate ourselves, our ways of survival (however messed up they might be) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 Alex, do you really not consider this bad parenting? or this? NO WIRE HANGERS!!! My judgement of that type parenting is... drum roll... that is bad parenting. my judgement But these parents survived to reproduce, didn't they? From Evolutionary perspective they are successful. Now they are passing those skills to their kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gchwood Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 In my situation I grew up with bad parenting. If a parent shirks the responsibility of being a parent to the child, than that parent is obliviously a bad parent. If a parent does not parent at all, than they are not parenting and are a bad parent. I grew up with no father and my mother left me alone from the time I was 8 to get up get my self ready, go to school, come home, do my homework, make my dinner, and tuck myself in. Now she did work, but she was home much of the time, she just ignored me. That is bad parenting. As a parent you have to instill within that child how to become a functional human being without having to rely on other adults to learn that. A good parent teaches a child how to manage on his/her own, regardless of how often you whoop 'em. It is not a judgement issue at all. Even in the animals they tend to their kids until they are ready to go out on their own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 We often think about it like this:A + B + C = good parenting D + E + F = bad parenting (and I'm not talking about grades here, although that too :laugh: ) What if we zoom out? What's really happening here? This would be easy to put in Evolutionary terms... Survival is the one and only "true gauge" of evolutionary success. We survived - we are successful. We now need to make our children the same, so that they can be successful as well. Do you see? The process is not "good" or "bad" - ultimate sign of success is survival. We simply recreate ourselves, our ways of survival (however messed up they might be) You're thinking too hard about it. Basically you are arguing whether or not there is 'good' or 'evil' or if it's all relative. In my opinion that's an excercise in futility. And in my opinion, I disagree with you about 'good' and 'bad' parenting. Trent Dilfer won a superbowl, but I'd say he was a 'bad' quarterback. According to your logic that wouldn't be possible, as winning the superbowl is the ultimate 'true gauge' of any QB. Anyone who is actually a parent knows that his children are not little clones of himself. They are all different, and will grow up with their own unique sense of self and ideas about their place in the world. All you can do is guide them. And yes, you can be good at it or bad at it. Just like anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rictus58 Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 :doh: nevermind...he won't get it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I suppose I'm confused here too. It appears you are simply putting forth a semantic arguement. I'm not sure what your purpose in doing so is.Good parents find the proper balance between providing love/nurturing to their children and teaching them relevant life lessons. Bad parents go to one extreme, either over-indulging their kids or ignoring/abusing them. You may wish to come up with different terms for these different types of parents, but to me that's neither here nor there. I don't see your point. Thank you! A 5yo child is running through the house and accidentally knocks over an antique glass vase that is an irreplaceable family hierloom. What do you do? Good parental response: "are you ok?, don't worry about it, accidents happen, the important thing is that you're ok, I'm sure you'll be more careful next time" This let's the child know that it's ok to make a mistake, and that they are more valuable than an object, that you're confident that they will learn, and that you care about/ love them. Poor parental response: "Look what you've done! That was stupid! You're in big trouble now, you've broken a $1000 vase that can never be replaced, go to your room, get out my site, you've made me very angry". This tells the child that are worth less than the object, that's is inexcusable to make a mistake, that they're stupid and deplorable. and that they are responsible for your feelings. One incident like this can make a huge difference on how a child/adult views themself. These are the times that you, as a parent, can either give your child self esteem, or take it away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 :doh: nevermind...he won't get it.... You gave up on me so easily... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rictus58 Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 You gave up on me so easily... You seem to think that the ability to grow old enough reproduce makes once successful on an evolutionary basis. You have failed to take into account that MANY people would not be on this earth if not for medical advancements. Now, while humans are animals, we are also far above other animals, and therefore be judged differently. The guage of "success" for humans cannot be judged solely on reproduction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 Thank you!A 5yo child is running through the house and accidentally knocks over an antique glass vase that is an irreplaceable family hierloom. What do you do? Good parental response: "are you ok?, don't worry about it, accidents happen, the important thing is that you're ok, I'm sure you'll be more careful next time" This let's the child know that it's ok to make a mistake, and that they are more valuable than an object, that you're confident that they will learn, and that you care about/ love them. Poor parental response: "Look what you've done! That was stupid! You're in big trouble now, you've broken a $1000 vase that can never be replaced, go to your room, get out my site, you've made me very angry". This tells the child that are worth less than the object, that's is inexcusable to make a mistake, that they're stupid and deplorable. and that they are responsible for your feelings. One incident like this can make a huge difference on how a child/adult views themself. These are the times that you, as a parent, can either give your child self esteem, or take it away. I completely agree. But here we are looking at individual situations. Individual responses to individual actions. My point is that there is a bigger picture here. Yes parents shape their kids with specific actions like saying or doing something. They also do it with body language, interactions with each other, interactions with environment, solving problems, etc. Kids learn a lot from their parents - not just what their parents specifically teach them. Every individual situation that you are talking about is a part of a larger picture. There is no faking this. You cannot teach your kids something you're not. Kids see and learn everything, they are like sponges. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I'm watching "Little Einsteins" right now with my 3 year old daughter. When they announced that the music in the show today was by Mozart, she stood up, clapped, and said "Yeaaaa, Mozart!" *ahem* Can you say good parenting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I'm watching "Little Einsteins" right now with my 3 year old daughter. When they announced that the music in the show today was by Mozart, she stood up, clapped, and said "Yeaaaa, Mozart!"*ahem* Can you say good parenting? That's a great show. I crack up every time my son says he likes Evard Greig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 You seem to think that the ability to grow old enough reproduce makes once successful on an evolutionary basis. You have failed to take into account that MANY people would not be on this earth if not for medical advancements. I personally do not believe that surviving means success. I do, however, believe that surviving means success as far as Evolution is concerned. That's the light under which I question us judging a natural process. Now, while humans are animals, we are also far above other animals, and therefore be judged differently. Not only as far living long enough to reproduce, but the paths that are taken to get there. Indeed we are far above other animals. But I would argue that quite a bit of our behavior is guided by our animalistic roots. Do you judge animals? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I completely agree. But here we are looking at individual situations. Individual responses to individual actions. My point is that there is a bigger picture here. Yes parents shape their kids with specific actions like saying or doing something. They also do it with body language, interactions with each other, interactions with environment, solving problems, etc. Kids learn a lot from their parents - not just what their parents specifically teach them. Every individual situation that you are talking about is a part of a larger picture. There is no faking this. You cannot teach your kids something you're not. Kids see and learn everything, they are like sponges. I agree that setting a good example for your children is very important, but not more important than the interaction between parent and child. The opposite of this seems to be your point and you are wrong. You also beat around the bush ( with bogus evolution argument) for a number of posts after placing a misleading title to your thread which you immediately contradicted because you couldn't defend it. :doh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 I'm watching "Little Einsteins" right now with my 3 year old daughter. When they announced that the music in the show today was by Mozart, she stood up, clapped, and said "Yeaaaa, Mozart!"*ahem* Can you say good parenting? That's awsome!! :applause: That must be the best feeling ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rictus58 Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 You also beat around the bush (with bogus evolution argument) for a number of posts after placing a misleading title to your thread which you immediately contradicted because you couldn't defend it. :doh: :laugh: Exactly! And I got Drawn back in! :doh: NEVER AGAIN I SAY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Exactly! And I got Drawn back in! :doh: NEVER AGAIN I SAY! :laugh: got to go, rictus don't let ARS trash me while I'm gone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oldskool Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 ... or Good Parenting, for that matter.Some things we knowingly teach our children. Many things children just pick up.... it's the same thing. It is a system to make our kids grow up like us. That means concepts like Good Parenting or Bad Parenting are meaningless. There is just Parenting. And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon... I really hope you dont have children or in the case that you ever do, you change your philosophy. I never want to run into your progeny :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rictus58 Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 :laugh: got to go, rictus don't let ARS trash me while I'm gone If that happens, I'll come a runnin to your defense. but come on now, we both know it wont! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 You're thinking too hard about it. Basically you are arguing whether or not there is 'good' or 'evil' or if it's all relative. In my opinion that's an excercise in futility.And in my opinion, I disagree with you about 'good' and 'bad' parenting. Trent Dilfer won a superbowl, but I'd say he was a 'bad' quarterback. According to your logic that wouldn't be possible, as winning the superbowl is the ultimate 'true gauge' of any QB. Anyone who is actually a parent knows that his children are not little clones of himself. They are all different, and will grow up with their own unique sense of self and ideas about their place in the world. All you can do is guide them. And yes, you can be good at it or bad at it. Just like anything else. I am not proposing Evolution as the "true gauge" of "good" or "bad." I cannot do that while at the same time rejecting concepts of "good" and "bad" altogether This thread really helped me understand what I'm talking about :laugh: We cannot judge animals because they are animals... Like robots or whatever - you know what I mean? Yet we often forget that people are also animals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.