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Saudi Arabia Hires Ninjas For Security


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The Central Intelligence Agency revealed today that it has solid evidence that Saudi Arabia has hired thousands of ninjas to provide internal security and for use as bodyguards. Ninjas are Japanese warriors trained in stealth, combat, assassination, and numerous other disciplines. "We had no idea so many ninjas were available for hire, or we would have hired them ourselves," says CIA spokesman Bob Johnson.

Satellite photos indicate small groups of ninjas frequenting public places such as food markets. "We noted that they are usually between 5 feet and 5 feet 6 inches tall, shorter than the average male Arab but close to the average for Japanese men. They wear their ninja uniforms publicly. Sometimes prominent male Saudis have one or two ninja bodyguards following them at a short distance, ready for any trouble," Johnson explained. "We think that the ninjas were funded in part by Japanese mega corporation executives, known as zaibatsu, in exchange for oil price controls on exports to Japan."

The ninjas, while easily identified during the day, seem to completely vanish at night, blending in to the surroundings. They also seem to make their presence known when acting as bodyguards, but use their powers of stealth to conceal themselves otherwise. They are seldom seen outdoors by themselves. Analysts speculate that the ninjas train in remote mountain villages under primitive conditions without cars since the ninjas are never observed operating a vehicle.


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