Poll: Ever ended up having sex on a first date?

[chomerics]

Originally posted by illone

Don't get all high and mighty with me, dood.

Stop, think, stop again, now think. Do you really respect those girls that sleep with you on the first date?

Really?

Absolutely, I can have sex with a woman on the first date and completely respect her. I am secure enough in my own masculinity to understand what a woman wants, and never hold that against her. I think if a man sleeps with a woman on the first date, and the man doesn't respect the woman after, then he wasn't really much of a man to begin with.

You need to stop looking at women as objects, and start looking at them as people. There are too many people like you out in the world and it doesn't make it a good place, it causes more harm, chaos and destruction then you could ever know.

You are full of it and complete weak sauce if you do. You are the type of guy that is just "too nice" that all the girls want to be friends with. So much so that you sit at home and ask yourself why your sex life sucks. Well, I can now tell you why it sucks. It's because you are soft and you let women push you around. Grow a backbone for crying out loud. Women like confidence, not some weakling.

You have no clue as to who I am do you? I can tell, because that post is sooo far away from my charactor and personality, it's almost laughable. You actually think I am soft? You actually think I let women push me around? Why would you jump to that conclusion? Because I said I respect a girl I'll sleep with on the first date?

What you are saying through your post is that you are not secure enough in your own masculenity to even respect yourself, let alone a woman. I would even stand out on a limb and say people who think like this usually have some homosexual tendencies, but you don't know how to deal with them, so they end up manifesting themselves into actions towards women. They end up treating women like objects instead of people.

You see when you call somebody a slut, but you yourself are one, there are some serious psychologicsl issues going on.

Nothing in my post was hypocritical. I just call it like it is.

Nothing was hypocritical? You said a girl is a slut if she sleeps with a guy on the first date, but a guy has to "command and conquer"? Are you kidding me? Do you not see the GIANT CHASIAM OF MISSING LOGIC from your thougts???

Are you still friends with the girls you slept with on the first date?

Ask yourself why, and honestly come back and post that you don't think of those girls differently.

I do not think of them differently, I can honestly say that. You OTOH would have a problem with it wouldn't ya? It is the whole woman as object road bock you have going on. :doh:

[NASMTrainer]

Yes. I'll leave it at that

[Mufumonk]

Why does everyone get so uptight around here? Sluts need love too!

[illone]

chomerics,

I think you are lying and that deep down you know I am right.

I'd start a poll but you already know that most guys don't respect women who give it up on the first date. That's a fact, even though most guys in this thread are scared to admit it.

Women know it, too. Ask any woman what they think about another woman who gives it up quickly. Most women are even quicker to throw out the 'slut' judgement than men I know.

Not sure where you got the homosexual stuff from. Self doubt projected outwards, much? :laugh:

[RaleighSkinsMann]

Originally posted by illone

chomerics,

I think you are lying and that deep down you know I am right.

I'd start a poll but you already know that most guys don't respect women who give it up on the first date. That's a fact, even though most guys in this thread are scared to admit it.

Women know it, too. Ask any woman what they think about another woman who gives it up quickly. Most women are even quicker to throw out the 'slut' judgement than men I know.

Not sure where you got the homosexual stuff from. Self doubt projected outwards, much? :laugh:

Well I can honestly say, I've had a few instances where ive had sex with a chic on the first date, never thought they were sluts or whatever...lol..maybe they wanted to $&ck just like did...as a matter of fact ive been with my girl for 9 years (Dec 3) will be ten...and we had sex on the first date...............:wewantd:

[Henry]

Guys, let's take it down a notch, ok? Nobody's the embodiment of what's wrong with America. Nobody is lying. It's called a difference of opinion.

Illone, I think most women like self confident men. The problem is, many insecure or emotionally distressed women mistake selfish for self-confident, or aren't patient enough to make the distinction one way or the other. Those are the women who men often have a hard time respecting. And a man who sleeps with these types of women is generally emotionally immature himself, which is why he feels the need to belittle them as soon as he is done with them.

Men and women who are comfortable with themselves and their sexuality will not fall into these categories, no matter how far into a relationship they go before deciding to have sex.

Personally, I tend to agree that most women (and men for that matter) who are willing to have sex on the first date generally fall into the insecure category. But even I realize that is not always the case. Some people are just more casual about sex than I am. And as long as they don't give me a hard time for my choices, I see no reason to give them a hard time for theirs.

[illone]

Thanks Henry. I totally get what you are saying. I can come across as pretty harsh sometimes, especially on the net. I'm better in person, I swear:laugh:

[freakofthesouth]

Hey all...I'd like to quickly chime in here, about a current girl that I am dating.

A friend of mine that knows her kinda warms me, 'I always see her making out w/ other guys.' But if he were in my shoes, he will still hang out w/ her.

I met her out, got her number, and we met out one night and had a blast...and we hooked up.

We have been out since, and I've always had the thought of her being sexually flighty in the back of my mind.

However, I honestly believe that this girl likes me; when we go out together, she is w/ me, even when other dudes from her past try to get her attention. This speaks volumes to me...moreover, even if she did act like that before, she was younger, just moved to town...and it was before she even kew me. I can honestly say that I really don't think she's out making out w/ other dudes. Even if she is, I really wouldn't mind that much, because I am not attatched to her. If I saw her w/ another guy or whatever, I would most likely move on. But, I don't think that's the case.

Concluding my little story, I do have faith that you could, in fact, date, have a relationship w/, and potentially marry a woman that you sleep w/ on the first date.

I just want to feed the fire on the notion that women, just like men, are people, w/ thoughts, emotions, and the like. And the reality is, absolutely everyone thinks about and acts on sex and sexual attraction. The idea that men are alotted more sexual freedom is assinine; we are all human beings, w/ the same wants and desires.

As someone pointed out, a lot of the uncomfortable feelings that accompany being w/ a woman that has been w/ others that you know, etc, are based solely on your own insecurities.

We should look at it this way, too: it's the same thing when you think about (or know about) an ex of yours that is dating again, w/ someone else, etc. It is your own insecurities that make you feel like crap about the situation. The longer the relationship is, the harder it is to deal w/ this type of situation, because the more attached we become. We then think, 'hey, that's my woman! He can't be w/ my woman!' In reality, this is an absurd statement. It is only your own projected qualities onto your ex-mate, and your insecurities that make you feel so terrible when you know that they have moved on.

Even though this whole issue is a little off topic, try to look at it this way: if you were getting out of a relationship, and you found someone that you could date, wouldn't it make you happy, at least temporarily? Your ex feels the same way. So, we should only want happiness for the person that we love, or loved. You can see that our own insecurities force an un-natural response to these types of situations.

Understanding the scope and effect of our own perspective on the world, other people, and particualrly the opposite sex, we can clearly see that the problem begins w/ us as we look outward, and we can work from there.

So, to finish my friggin book here (sorry), dating requires a lot of independence, strength, and understanding of the opposite sex. The more secure you can go into a dating situation, the more likely you are to have an open door to meet your potential mate.

[chomerics]

Originally posted by illone

chomerics,

I think you are lying and that deep down you know I am right.

It really does not matter to me what you think. You are only a poster on a message board and I may have to deal with you 10 times for maybe 5 minutes in my life. I have to live with myself everyday, and as long as I am completely comfortable with my position, which I am, I can sleep happy.

If you actually go back and search through some of my threads, you will see that I am not the type of person you think I am. I have posted here about many different personal things, and I am extremely open about my sexuality, almost to a fault. I am just very secure with my position, and I am confident enough in my own abilities and judge of charactor to know I'm right. If I have no problem respecting women, that doesn't mean everyone thinks the same

I'd start a poll but you already know that most guys don't respect women who give it up on the first date. That's a fact, even though most guys in this thread are scared to admit it.

You maybe right, but you were completely off the mark with me. You tried to tell me who I am, and you were in the wrong ballpark. You can think you know who I am, and you can think you know my charactor by reading a single post, but until you read what i have to say on an every day basis, you really haven't a clue as to my charactor. I may have jumped down your throat a little too quick, but I will stick up for myself and call it like I see it.

Women know it, too. Ask any woman what they think about another woman who gives it up quickly. Most women are even quicker to throw out the 'slut' judgement than men I know.

You must have some completely shallow and hollow friends, but maybe that's why you think the way you do. I have friends who have different layers, and they are all confident in their own beliefs and ideas. They would NEVER say something like you just said, but again, it shows why you think the way you do. There is nothing worng with being hollow or naieve, but don't try to say everyone thinks like you do, because they don't. I myself do not, and I know a whole bunch of other people who don't think along those lines either. I stopped thinking like that when I was around 18 years old, once I came to grips with my own understanding of sex, and I have been a much happier man ever since.

Not sure where you got the homosexual stuff from. Self doubt projected outwards, much? :laugh:

It's actually a common psychological belief, and it is pretty prevelant in in mainstrean psychology. I don't remember the exact methodology used, but it has to deal with men treating women like objects instead of people. I believe the term is Gender Narcissism or something like that . . .

Here is a link written by a PhD.

http://www.narth.com/docs/1996papers/schoenwolf.html

General Characteristics of Gender Narcissism

Although I have written previously about gender narcissism (1989, 1991), 1 had not systematically studied the topic. In reexamining the psychoanalytic literature and reviewing the histories and psychodynamics of a group of gender-narcissistic patients, I was able to corroborate the basic theories of classical psychoanalysis, including the much-debated theories of female development, as well as delineate the characteristics and manifestations of gender narcissism.

In selecting patients for the study, I looked for the following features:

(1)Inferiority/superiority feelings about one's gender;

(2)Excessive concern about one's genitals;

(3)Envy of genitals of opposite sex;

(4)Resentment of one's gender role and envy of the role of the opposite sex.

(5)Bitterness and rage about feeling castrated or cheated (females), or about feeling psychologically castrated (males);

(6)Fears of castration (males) or annihilation (females);

(7)Oedipal guilt;

(8)Idealization (grandiosity) about one's own gender and devaluation of opposite gender;

(9)Idealization of mothers and devaluation of fathers.

Google the term heterosexual gender narcissism link and you will find exactly what I am talking about.

[chomerics]

Originally posted by freakofthenorth

As someone pointed out, a lot of the uncomfortable feelings that accompany being w/ a woman that has been w/ others that you know, etc, are based solely on your own insecurities.

We should look at it this way, too: it's the same thing when you think about (or know about) an ex of yours that is dating again, w/ someone else, etc. It is your own insecurities that make you feel like crap about the situation. The longer the relationship is, the harder it is to deal w/ this type of situation, because the more attached we become. We then think, 'hey, that's my woman! He can't be w/ my woman!' In reality, this is an absurd statement. It is only your own projected qualities onto your ex-mate, and your insecurities that make you feel so terrible when you know that they have moved on.

Even though this whole issue is a little off topic, try to look at it this way: if you were getting out of a relationship, and you found someone that you could date, wouldn't it make you happy, at least temporarily? Your ex feels the same way. So, we should only want happiness for the person that we love, or loved. You can see that our own insecurities force an un-natural response to these types of situations.

Understanding the scope and effect of our own perspective on the world, other people, and particualrly the opposite sex, we can clearly see that the problem begins w/ us as we look outward, and we can work from there.

So, to finish my friggin book here (sorry), dating requires a lot of independence, strength, and understanding of the opposite sex. The more secure you can go into a dating situation, the more likely you are to have an open door to meet your potential mate.

Great post. Having just ended a long 12 year relationship I can concur with what you say. I know I am better off, and if she starts dating, then I will be happy for her. I have already started, and I would expect her to do the same. I still truly care for her, and if that is what makes her happy, then so be it. . . That is until she starts dating illone, then all bets are off :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :jk:

[flyingtiger1013]

When I was single my rule was no nookie by the 3rd date, no fourth date.