PleaseBlitz

Time to get a boy dog to even out the household PH.

The only person that should be contacting you is your servicer. And probably not by phone.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/sarahmimms/coronavirus-bill-ends-student-loan-payments-interest-6 All federal student debt is suspended through September 30.

The dog is the best part of that picture.

My dude kept me company while I grilled.

So many more rules for the Quarantine Drinking Game.

Yes, it’s just sitting there taunting me.

Gonna need the video....

https://www.dol.gov/sites/dolgov/files/OPA/newsreleases/ui-claims/20200510.pdf Just read it.

If I was up for that kind of commitment, I’d start on my lifegoal of watching The Simpsons from beginning to end.

Hannibal or The Leftovers?

Jesus, this isn’t The Purge.

It’s been a weird day. I ended up on an Army base.

My indian place is one of those places that won’t let you in, but you can still do takeout. Heroes.

Yes, the kind that does drugs (and also drinks).

The type that drinks.

I am running out of things to do and, embarrassingly, don’t know where to even start when it comes to buying illegal needle drugs. So, rationally, I decided to watch several episodes of Doomsday Preppers on Netflix because it seems topical and maybe I’d pick up a useful tidbit here and there. Nope and nope. First, not one of them prepped for a pandemic of any kind, and certainly not one where the solution is “just stick to yourselves for a few months.” No. They prepared for, among other things, a shift in the earth’s poles, a “global super earthquake,” which, number one, isn’t how earthquakes ****ing work and, number two, this guy lived in the seismic hotspot known as Tennessee. One was also preparing for the literal Rapture from the book of Revelations. Lots of people in rural areas armed to the teeth worried about terrorism, which I thought was ironic. Second, not one useful tidbit. Nobody seemed to worry about passing the time during the 5 years period after the disaster for which they prepped enough fuel, water and shelf after shelf of dried grains and canned goods. Take a cue from your kids they are all bored as ****. Also, nobody stockpiled toiletpaper or otherwise made preparations for wiping their ass. Everyone had tons of ammo, nobody had basic sanitation covered. Sure, get prepared for marauding raiders hellbent on looting your ****ty, barely functional subsistence farm in the middle of nowhere, but pay zero mind to nature inevitably calling. One guy called his heavily-defended compound (i.e, a house and 2 sheds) “the Alamo.” I guess nobody told him that everyone died at the Alamo.

Postponed, not cancelled, probably for a year. https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/2020/03/23/olympics-2020-ioc-member-tokyo-games-postponed-dick-pound-coronavirus/2899848001/

He’s an excellent storyteller. I think the Athletic has ton of talent.*. It basically snapped up all of the good writers when ESPN decided to focus on morons yelling at each other. I read the Mickey Mantle piece earlier today and it just made me sad. It was also by far the shortest one, I got the feeling that it made Posnanski sad to write it. And not one story about Mantle being a millionaire alcoholic baseball God in NYC in his twenties. WTF. *Along with some dregs. Nobody should let Grant Paulsen work for the same outlet as Peter Gammons, seriously.

I am killing some time lo these long weeks of paternity leave and quarantine by reading The Athletic’s VERY LONG rundown of the 100 greatest baseball players of all time. It was supposed to be completed by opening day, so they are into the top 10 now. Each one is a DEEP dive, which serves my purpose of wasting time with sports stuff during a time without sports. Here is how the author describes the length: Anyways, lots of interesting stories about all-timers, most of whom I’m too young to have seen or really appreciate. I just finished the one about Satchel Paige. Here is some crazy **** about Nolan Ryan. Sure, he has a bajillion K’s and no hitters and walks, here is some context. Nearly 1000 more Ks and walks than the next guy. Lol.

Full disclosure: never seen that movie.

Yep, clothes. DEFINITELY wearing clothes.

https://www.oregonlive.com/coronavirus/2020/03/portland-strip-club-forced-to-close-so-dancers-now-do-delivery.html Portland strip club forced to close, so dancers now do delivery Boober Eats!, Hur.

Why not name names? Twitter is a public forum, it's not like you are keeping their secret.