hokie4redskins Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 After seeing a couple marriages of friends hit the fan and reading a fellow poster's situation with the wife, I wanna ask what you all feel about a pre-nup. Marriage is hard and I've seen people get juked financially in a divorce, but asking the person you love to sign a pre-nup has GOTTA be awkward. "Yeah baby, I love you, but just in case it doesn't work out, and I have a feeling it might not, sign on the dotted line." Jeez. That's what it sounds like anyways, but isn't protecting yourself smart? Do you HAVE to get a lawyer for a pre-nup or can you just type something up in Word and keep for your records? I can't believe I'm even thinking about this because I need a fiancee first, but just curious. :whoknows: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herrmag Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 If you're thinking about getting a pre-nup, it's my opinion that you shouldn't even bother getting married. Marriage is hard work (or so I hear), and if you don't commit from the very beginning that you will never give up on it, then most likely it will never work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamingwolf Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 I would suggest to just choose your wife carefully, and dont do anything that would give her the cause for divorce( like adultry or abuse). Ive heard that even a finely crafted pre-nup by a lawyer can be thrown out come a trial, so its probably not worth it. Although I think the power of a pre-nup differs from state to state and honestly Im not sure of about virginia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hokie4redskins Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 I see what you're saying but I don't agree. My buddy's was trying to make it work out but his wife wasn't having any of it, just wanted out. He had suspicions she was cheating but couldn't prove it in court. Now he's into her for 40% of his salary. In the immortal words of Chris Rock, "If you make 10 million and you wife wants half, you ain't starvin', but if you make 30 THOUSAND and your wife want fifteen, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO KILL HER!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingtiger1013 Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 If you ever have kids and get divorced it really doesn't matter. She's gonna get mega money from you anyway. It's hard to get alimony in Virginia unless you are a total f-up. I've been divorced twice (yes twice) and they couldn't get a dime from me in alimony. But you do have to split everything you bought since the marriage between you. Since I had kids with both wives, they got a considerable amount of money from me every month (still do) and we split our common belongings except for what was needed or belonged to the kids. Just remember when the preacher asks you "do you take this woman" that if the marriage goes south, she'll be taking you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamingwolf Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 you got me thinkin about it and I found this site http://www.legalhelpmate.com/prenup/Virginia-prenuptial-agreement.aspx seems like a good site on prenups for va Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 A far better option is to stay single. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartskins Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 If you do want to write a pre-nup and you want to go about it without getting your future spouse upset, make sure the timing is right--i.e., not the night before the wedding. Also check out this book: Prenups for Lovers: A Romantic Guide to Prenuptial Agreements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 If you ask a women for a prenup then it tells the future wife, i love you and all but don't want you touching my stuff, and also shows you don't think it will last pick a better woman and don't sign a prenup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hokie4redskins Posted April 25, 2005 Author Share Posted April 25, 2005 So anything you bought before the marriage is off-limits in case of divorce or is everything pre-marriage fair game? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by jbooma If you ask a women for a prenup then it tells the future wife, i love you and all but don't want you touching my stuff, and also shows you don't think it will last pick a better woman and don't sign a prenup or better yet, don't get married. That is unless you are completely honest with her. . . Tell her, hey you know I love you, but I love my stuff more. And if this marriage doesn't work out, I want to keep my stuff. I just don't trust you enough not to take my stuff away from me. If she still wants to marry you, then either you have found the impossible women, or you should run like hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by hokie4redskins So anything you bought before the marriage is off-limits in case of divorce or is everything pre-marriage fair game? everything should be fair game, however everyone should also KNOW the person they are marrying, their goals, ambitions, dreams, plans, etc... if you marry someone then find out they don't want kids, well that is a problem, if you marry someone and then find out they only care about a career or want to live in the country, then that is a problem. Once you introduced the thought of a marriage not working by asking for a prenup, then there is no chance the marriage will last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by hokie4redskins So anything you bought before the marriage is off-limits in case of divorce or is everything pre-marriage fair game? Yes, by marrying a woman, you are in effect allowing her to own your stuff. If you don't like it, then don't get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsNut73 Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by jbooma If you ask a women for a prenup then it tells the future wife, i love you and all but don't want you touching my stuff, and also shows you don't think it will last pick a better woman and don't sign a prenup I agree. A prenup kinda says "I'm ready to commit to you Babe, but just in case this marriage thing doesn't work out...." Now, in some cases, prenups may be acceptable. I'm thinking if you have been divorced before...and your previous wife took you to the bank....your new bride-to-be might be understanding of this realizing that you've been burned before. I dunno. ...but to those getting married the first time (as the original poster was implying) I'm not sure it's a wise thing to ask for. Especially if you are not making millions already Sorry Hon...but I don't want you taking the $134 I have in the bank:D In my case, there is no need for a prenup. After we had our first child my wife became a stay-at-home mom and has been out of the work force for 10 years. That, combined with the fact we now have 3 kids would mean Nut73 wouldn't have a pot to piss in if he were divorced:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by SkinsNut73 ...but to those getting married the first time (as the original poster was implying) I'm not sure it's a wise thing to ask for. Especially if you are not making millions already Sorry Hon...but I don't want you taking the $134 I have in the bank:D :laugh: :laugh: well then you are left with only $67 then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartskins Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by hokie4redskins So anything you bought before the marriage is off-limits in case of divorce or is everything pre-marriage fair game? This is a state law question and varies from state to state. In some places everthing that you owned separately before the marriage remains your own after divorce in other states there is a rule that property used over the course of the marriage for both parites can become part of the marital property and subject to division. Get a lawyer if you want any of these questions definitively answered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sith lord Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 If you have a lot of money,I'll advise you not to get married,but if you do,you have to protect yourself financially. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by sith lord If you have a lot of money,I'll advise you not to get married,but if you do,you have to protect yourself financially. If all you care about is money then there is more then never getting married you should worry about :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartskins Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by jbooma If all you care about is money then there is more then never getting married you should worry about :doh: 'Booma, that's not the issue. If someone wants to get married and there is a great difference between the net worth of one spouse and the net worth of the other, it can make sense to engage in a pre-nup contract. What you may not understand is that if the marriage goes well, the more wealthy spouse can always rip up the contract. It's not about caring more about money than love, it's about ensuring that the person you're marrying cares more about love than money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by iheartskins It's not about caring more about money than love, it's about ensuring that the person you're marrying cares more about love than money. I agree, but if you are worried about what you have then you are caring more about that then love. I can understand if you are a movie star or someone in the spotlight and don't want people who just want your money, but lets be real here, famous people don't stay married to begin with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sith lord Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by jbooma If all you care about is money then there is more then never getting married you should worry about :doh: Oh please.This has never happened to me,but I've heard stories of how woman,and it's usually woman,who marry guys just for there money and that's not right.It even makes me mad when I hear or read about guys who has worked there entire lives,accumulating wealth,to only have it taken away in court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by sith lord Oh please.This has never happened to me,but I've heard stories of how woman,and it's usually woman,who marry guys just for there money and that's not right.It even makes me mad when I hear or read about guys who has worked there entire lives,accumulating wealth,to only have it taken away in court. I have heard the same stories, but you don't blame the guy for not knowing the woman to begin with. It happens for both sides I hope you know, men are not the only ones who can make money today :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by sith lord Oh please.This has never happened to me,but I've heard stories of how woman,and it's usually woman,who marry guys just for there money and that's not right.It even makes me mad when I hear or read about guys who has worked there entire lives,accumulating wealth,to only have it taken away in court. Yes it is true, but the man is just as much to blame for poor judgement. He should have never married a woman who was just out for his money. Are some people dishonest? Yes they are, but chosing your wife is not something that you should do lightly. If you make the wrong choice, then too bad. If you are truly worried about losing your stuff, then don't get married in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sith lord Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by chomerics Yes it is true, but the man is just as much to blame for poor judgement. He should have never married a woman who was just out for his money. Are some people dishonest? Yes they are, but chosing your wife is not something that you should do lightly. If you make the wrong choice, then too bad. If you are truly worried about losing your stuff, then don't get married in the first place. Women have a natural gift that men don't,and that they know how to be coniving.Most women know how to get a man to do just about anything she wants.Especially the pretty ones.To me,if you're wealthy,there's no reason at all to get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted April 25, 2005 Share Posted April 25, 2005 Originally posted by sith lord Women have a natural gift that men don't,and that they know how to be coniving.Most women know how to get a man to do just about anything she wants.Especially the pretty ones.To me,if you're wealthy,there's no reason at all to get married. :laugh: man you are just lost and I bet a hit with the ladies, word to the wise men are just as bad, most men can see through the BS it isn't that hard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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