China Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 Canada Busy Sending Back Bush Dodgers The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?" In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingtiger1013 Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 That was so funny!!!:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herrmag Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 Pretty funny stuff. Great post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
December90 Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 What if we don't want them back? "How many art-history majors does one country need?" :notworthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 By the way, O'Reilly isn't really that conservative. He's an assh*le, but although it may seem like it, those two traits don't always go hand in hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prosperity Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 is this from The Onion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Originally posted by Chopper Dave By the way, O'Reilly isn't really that conservative. He's an assh*le, but although it may seem like it, those two traits don't always go hand in hand. You are right on both accounts: O'Reilly isn't really that conservative and Michael Moore and Al Franken are complete assh*les as well. Good observations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TC4 Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Originally posted by Liberty is this from The Onion? I agree It's gotta be from the Onion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancalagon the Black Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 It's mildly funny, but it doesn't sound Onion quality to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief skin Posted November 27, 2004 Share Posted November 27, 2004 ho hum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers By JOE BLUNDO KCTV-5, Kansas City The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. ''I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. ''He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. ''Not real effective," he said. ''The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. ''A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. ''I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. ''If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. ''I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. ''How many art-history majors does one country need?" In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. ''We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 9, 2004 Author Share Posted December 9, 2004 http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=82614&highlight=Canada Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted December 9, 2004 Share Posted December 9, 2004 Oops. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted December 9, 2004 Author Share Posted December 9, 2004 Originally posted by Riggotoni Oops. Sorry. No problem we both found it funny. There are too many threads to always find a duplicate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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