China Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Actual Doctors' Notes on Hospital Charts: 1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 7. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. 8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 10. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission. 11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful 12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 13. She is numb from her toes down. 14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 15. The skin was moist and dry. 16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 17. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. 20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized 23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 24. Skin: somewhat pale. but present. 25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfujskins Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 :doh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manichispanic Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. Friggin long armed doctors..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrfriedm Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 :laugh: That was good thank you !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fatty P For The Pulitzer Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by manichispanic Friggin long armed doctors..... :laugh: That's exactly what I thought! That's got to be extremely painful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXREDSKINS44 Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by China Actual Doctors' Notes on Hospital Charts: 127. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins24 Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coach Williams Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 that was pretty good....I liked the last one..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xmoodechickx Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 those are funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade7 Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 :rotflmao: Those were classic! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halter91 Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 LMAO. Thanks I needed that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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