skns4life Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 i have this homework assignment and my teacher wants us to tell him some useless advice about anything. the person with the most useless advice gets a half a letter grade increase. please, everyone just give me the best useless advice you've ever been given!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickfox45 Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 porcupines make bad footballs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 When you're at the peak of Kilimanjaro, don't ever eat pork rinds, unless you really, really need the fiber, and only if you're serious about adopting a pig afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 dinosaurs make bad pets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skns4life Posted October 25, 2004 Author Share Posted October 25, 2004 Originally posted by Chopper Dave When you're at the peak of Kilimanjaro, don't ever eat pork rinds, unless you really, really need the fiber, and only if you're serious about adopting a pig afterwards. :wtf: lol that is pretty useless...keep them coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Don't piss off Harry Truman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 A wris****ch is not meant to be a cooking utensil, but if you need to use it, by all means, use it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Despite what anyone ever tells you, don't bathe in canola oil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Cabbage Patch kids are the root of all evil in this world. Stay away from them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shallow1 Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 "You just have to anticipate what a woman is thinking" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Don't ever name your child Granola. He'll just get his ass kicked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Island Boy Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Next time you cross a one-way street, look both ways just in case some lunatic is driving down the wrong way looking to run over people who only look one way when they cross a one-way street. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 always wear underwear when leaving the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 In case of fire, do interpretive dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skns4life Posted October 25, 2004 Author Share Posted October 25, 2004 wow....chopper dave you've really received some useless advice havent you?? or do you just give them??? lol....thanks these are working just fine...keep them coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Originally posted by dks1240 always wear underwear when leaving the house. Unless they're made of ham. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 chopperdave, i think you found your life calling and that is giving useless advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Originally posted by skns4life wow....chopper dave you've really received some useless advice havent you?? or do you just give them??? lol....thanks these are working just fine...keep them coming Actually, one of my pieces of advice isn't all that useless. Just ask Japan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Originally posted by Chopper Dave Actually, one of my pieces of advice isn't all that useless. Just ask Japan. the one about ham underwear, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Originally posted by dks1240 chopperdave, i think you found your life calling and that is giving useless advice. That's what too little sleep, too active an imagination, and a weekend spent killing brain cells will do to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Originally posted by dks1240 the one about ham underwear, right? Yeah, it's a reference to the Great Japanese Hampants War of 1782. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 Diesel fuel is not a decongestant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 In case of falling empire, play fiddle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 If you ever need help, never, ever call Michael Dukakis. And with that, I'm going to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 a few famous ones. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried Tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember anything. If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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