Pete Posted April 3, 2002 Share Posted April 3, 2002 HIJACKING SOLUTION <br />Federal Aviation Agency <br />800 Independence Avenue S.W. <br />Washington D.C. 20591 <br /><br />Dear Sirs: <br />I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same time <br />getting our airline industry back on its feet. <br /><br />Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers. Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman, and of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again in hope of seeing a naked woman. <br /><br />We would have no more hijackings, and the airline industry would have record sales. <br /><br />Now why didn't Congress think of this? Sincerely, Bill Clinton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickalino Posted April 3, 2002 Share Posted April 3, 2002 Sorry Pete, this wouldnt have worked. During the days and weeks before the 9/11 attacks, researchers have traced the actions of the hijackers which revealed that they went on spendng sprees at strip joints and gambling casinos, which has been thoroughly documented. This revelation has caused a stir since the very Arabs who attacked us because they consider us evil, immoral, and materialistic, were partaking of the very things they accused us of. This information was used as propaganda in many Arab countries to gain support for our battle against terrorism. The idea was to portray these people as hypocrites - basically saying 'how can you support such people ? They may be willing to die for their religion, yet they cannot even keep from committing the most elementary of sins. Their martyrdom is just a coverup for their true hypocritical ways.'<br /> <br /> <small>[ April 03, 2002, 01:58 AM: Message edited by: Mick ]</small> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenn X Posted April 3, 2002 Share Posted April 3, 2002 Yeah, but you gotta admit, Mick, it's a pretty damn good idea by Pete nonetheless. <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brave Posted April 3, 2002 Share Posted April 3, 2002 I agree. I'd probably fly more.<br /><br />And no one would complain about the food (or lack thereof.) <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Posted April 3, 2002 Share Posted April 3, 2002 There'a a problem with this solution. The bathrooms aren't nearly large enough for this type of inspiration, don't you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Posted April 3, 2002 Share Posted April 3, 2002 Brings a whole new meaning to the word "****pit"<br /><br /> <img border="0" alt="[doh]" title="" src="graemlins/doh.gif" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted April 3, 2002 Share Posted April 3, 2002 <img border="0" alt="[doh]" title="" src="graemlins/doh.gif" /> Well, if the bathrooms are too small, there could be room for expansion. Either that or maybe some further improvement in First Class could be done. You know, services provided, extra seat room, ect.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted April 3, 2002 Author Share Posted April 3, 2002 Sorry, but I can't take credit for this one Glenn X. A friend sent me this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Montilar Posted April 3, 2002 Share Posted April 3, 2002 One other potential problem. It all depends on the woman or women. There are certain women shall we say that would drive me and many others to monkhood or the human race to extinction before the partaking of "intimate relationships with said women" ....<br /><br />Of course, I imagine most airline stewardess' would NOT fit into such a catagory. <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenn X Posted April 4, 2002 Share Posted April 4, 2002 Montilar, would this be to your liking?<br /><br /> <img src="http://suze.net/preview/images/lexusshrine.jpg" alt="" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted April 4, 2002 Share Posted April 4, 2002 Come to butthead... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted April 4, 2002 Share Posted April 4, 2002 On a slightly more serious note, the Brits used to deal with Muslim insurrectionists by burying them with pigs. Many of them believed that because the pigs were unclean animals, being buried with them would prevent their souls from entering paradise.<br /><br />Also, the Quran prohibits Muslims from using fire to kill their enemies, because only Allah is allowed to punish the Infidels with eternal flames. So, all these wackos involved in 9/11 went against the boundaries of their own religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Montilar Posted April 4, 2002 Share Posted April 4, 2002 Oh YEA! Very Very much to my liking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted April 5, 2002 Share Posted April 5, 2002 Burying with pigs? <img border="0" alt="[puke]" title="" src="graemlins/pukeface.gif" /> That'll learn 'em. As for the flames, well, apparently these ***holes were not only "misguided" and not "true followers", they apparently didn't keep up on there reading. <img border="0" alt="[doh]" title="" src="graemlins/doh.gif" /> Glenn X. To quote a certain....hero that I used to read alot of some years ago; " Oh my stars and garters"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrapeApe Posted April 5, 2002 Share Posted April 5, 2002 All of the silicon would weigh down the plane too much to be feasible. The weight/lift and thrust/drag ratios would be too high and cause too much fuel to be expended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted April 5, 2002 Share Posted April 5, 2002 Now see here GrapeApe. You just had to go and get technical with us. <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> Now, would it matter if there was saline instead of silicon? <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrapeApe Posted April 5, 2002 Share Posted April 5, 2002 Personally I think they should make them out of Helium. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted April 5, 2002 Share Posted April 5, 2002 I want to hear more about the lift and thrust stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted April 5, 2002 Author Share Posted April 5, 2002 Not to worry GrapeApe, there's a jet in the works that's so big, it will have sleeping compartments, lounges, and a health spa. Should handle any additional loads from the fake mudonda's. Hell, this could even get me up........and flying more often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Posted April 5, 2002 Share Posted April 5, 2002 If this young lady is one of the potential hires, I'd like to volunteer myself to run the background checks, if you know what I mean <img border="0" title="" alt="[smile]" src="smile.gif" /> . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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