Coach Williams Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well. When I fired the pistol, my wife st on my face, bit my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!" :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TODD Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 :puke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TC4 Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Where's Henry when you really need him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 Hey, I laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PennState11 Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 Here goes another good one True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family. "The moral of this story is:" "Always keep your condoms in your car." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warren Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 Originally posted by PennState11 Here goes another good one True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family. "The moral of this story is:" "Always keep your condoms in your car." Freakin hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coach Williams Posted June 13, 2004 Author Share Posted June 13, 2004 Originally posted by PennState11 Here goes another good one "Always keep your condoms in your car." thats one of the best jokes I've ever heard. :notworthy :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dallsux Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 Originally posted by KINGBRICE_28 A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well. When I fired the pistol, my wife st on my face, bit my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!" :doh: :doh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dallsux Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 Originally posted by PennState11 Here goes another good one True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family. "The moral of this story is:" "Always keep your condoms in your car." :doh: :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins24 Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 Originally posted by PennState11 Here goes another good one True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family. "The moral of this story is:" "Always keep your condoms in your car." :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: One of the funniest joke ever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 Interesting. The first joke isn't funny, but it is graphic as hell, and thus has the kind of locker-room edge that most guys react to almost instinctively ... especially when hearing it in the company of a bunch of other guys. But it's also pretty damn tacky ... especially so when viewed in light of the concerted effort we've been making lately to get people to police themselves a bit around here. I debated simply deleting it, but believe it or not, I am not trying to overplay my hand here. It shouldn't be about forcing the staff to constantly have to decide when to step in ... it should be about each member here being willing to avoid posting stuff that forces us to. So instead I'll leave it there, and simply ask, AGAIN, that people stop thinking of this place as the men's locker room in a public gym somewhere. It's not. It's a community of men, women and children. That's our reality now, and the conversation needs to be tailored to that context. The second joke, by the way, is just plain funny. And it manages to be that w/o resorting to the basest common denominator. Is it really that hard to see the difference? Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 PS11 - :laugh: I'd even heard that one before, but completely spaced it out until I got to the punchline. I had to try not to laugh out loud, since I'm at work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duncan Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 After sending their daughter to play with the kids next door, a couple rushes to their bedroom to take advantage of the time alone. Well they are really going at it making a lot of noise, especially the woman. All of a sudden they hear crying and there stands their daughter with a terrified look on her face. “Mommy, Mommy, what is Daddy doing to you”, and she runs to her room. The wife throws on her cloths and runs to comfort her daughter. “it’s OK pumpkin, Daddy wasn’t hurting me, that is where babies come from” The following week the couple wakes up early to fool around. The wife pushes the husband against the wall and drops to her knees. The husband’s knees are buckling and he is grasping for breath when all of a sudden they look over and there stands their crying daughter. Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing to Daddy”, and she runs to her room. The wife throws on her cloths and runs to comfort her daughter. She thinks for a second, “it’s OK pumpkin, that’s where diamonds come from” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXREDSKINS44 Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 Man they were all great!!!!:laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 Originally posted by Duncan The wife throws on her cloths and runs to comfort her daughter. She thinks for a second, “it’s OK pumpkin, that’s where diamonds come from” Shouldn't that be pearl necklaces? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.