In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed for stupidity

[stratoman]

In case you needed further proof that the human race

> is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on

> consumer goods.

>

> On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (

> and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

>

> On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No

> purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

>

> On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular

> soap." (and that would be how???....)

>

> On some Swanson frozen dinners:

> "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a

> suggestion).

>

> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

> "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late,

> huh)!

>

> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

> "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you

> thought????...)

>

> On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron

> clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

>

> On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a

> car or operate machinery after taking this

> medication." (We

> could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction

> accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those

> forklifts.)

>

> On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

> (and...I'm taking this because???....)

>

> On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or

> outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

>

> On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for

> the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm

> a bit curious.)

>

> On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

> (talk about a news flash)

>

> On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

> "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3:

> maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

>

> On a child's superman costume:

> "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to

> fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

>

> On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain

> with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening

> somewhere?)

[Larry]

When I used to work for McDonalds, we used to get boxes of something (the meat?), with instrucytions printed on the outside of the box:

On the top of the box, it read "To open, see bottom".

On the bottom were pictures (presumably for people who couldn't read, but looked on the bottom, anyway), diagramming somebody sticking their hand into the crack between the box flaps on the lid, and ripping the lid open.

[JimboDaMan]

I remember opening a package from some piece or other of electronic equipment. Inside, along with the item was one of those little packets of moisture-absorbing junk to protect the equipment from condensation, etc. The packet had large, bold letters on both sides warning "DO NOT EAT".

[fansince62]

Jimbo....funny coincidence....same thing was written on the first gal I ever dated!

[tex]

Actual Military Warnings

From Keith Morin

10-30-3

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - US Army

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - USAF Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - US Air Force Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways." - US Army Ordnance

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col. David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." - Anon

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Army Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies

And lastly...

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." - USA Ammo Troop

[stratoman]

TEX,

I assume you are in the military and have been to IRAQ, I am in all support for our armed service people in genral, and really respect those who have been in IRAQ. THe Americam peaple need to band together agains't terrorism!!! We have so many freedoms in this country that the younger folks just don't understand. It seems to be about bashing Bush and coming up with no viable solutions. :(

[tex]

Originally posted by stratoman

TEX,

I assume you are in the military and have been to IRAQ, I am in all support for our armed service people in genral, and really respect those who have been in IRAQ. THe Americam peaple need to band together agains't terrorism!!! We have so many freedoms in this country that the younger folks just don't understand. It seems to be about bashing Bush and coming up with no viable solutions. :(

Sorry to disappoint but I have never served in the Military; couldn't pass the physical. I have however served my country, the military in particular, as a long time government contractor employee. I grew up in a military family (Go Marines!), married a Navy brat and have spent the majority of my life living and working on military bases. After many years of working side by side with military personnel I can truthfully say without reservation that the men and women of the US Military are true professionals and are deserving of our utmost respect and gratitude.

[stratoman]

Originally posted by tex

Sorry to disappoint but I have never served in the Military; couldn't pass the physical. I have however served my country, the military in particular, as a long time government contractor employee. I grew up in a military family (Go Marines!), married a Navy brat and have spent the majority of my life living and working on military bases. After many years of working side by side with military personnel I can truthfully say without reservation that the men and women of the US Military are true professionals and are deserving of our utmost respect and gratitude.

:thumbsup: :applause: :applause: :applause:

[NavyDave]

Tex in essence has served IMO

[Larry]

One I'd seen (unattributed) on some sign labled "Murphy's Rules of Combat":

"If it's stupid, but it works, then it isn't"

[JimboDaMan]

Originally posted by fansince62

Jimbo....funny coincidence....same thing was written on the first gal I ever dated!

:rotflmao:

[Dan T.]

On one of those cardboard, accordian fold sun shades for car windshields - "Remove before driving." No lie.