A gold digger's guide: Using the right bait to land a rich fish - er, husband

[China]

CAN YOU DIG IT?

Going for the gold

You have to use the right bait if you want to land a rich fish - er, husband

By EILEEN McCLELLAND

Houston Chronicle

Hunting for a rich husband?

Think camouflage, but not the woodsy kind - unless, of course, you're at a rattlesnake roundup, prime husband-hunting grounds in Texas.

In an urban milieu, you've got to look prosperous enough to blend in with your prey's elite social circle. For example, drive a leased Lexus only if you can't borrow a Mercedes.

J.C. Conklin, author of a snarky new novel about Texas women and their pursuit of a rich husband, advises that even spiritual matters matter. Choose a popular Texas religion, Methodist or Baptist.

And don't hesitate to resort to plastic surgery. At the very least, bleach.

"You should have long hair and if you can, be blond, be blond,'' says Conklin, author of The Dallas Women's Guide to Gold-Digging With Pride (Ballantine, $22.95). "Every man I've ever talked to has never described a woman who's blond as mousy.''

In the satirical novel, ex-New Yorker Jenny Barton, 29, works for a frumpy female boss-from-hell at the Wall Street Journal's Dallas bureau. Recovering from a recent split from slacker journalist Rafe and under the influence of her blond, husband-hunting roommate, Aimee, Jenny attempts to lure a rich Texan or two.

There are certain parallels to the author's life. During Conklin's four years in Dallas, as a reporter for the Wall Street Journal and then the Dallas Morning News, she was surprised to meet women in their 20s stalking wealthy men in their spare time. Women who wear stilettos to shop at Whole Foods. Who liposuction their uncooperative thighs to squeeze into size-4 Vera Wang wedding gowns. Who order room service for their traveling boyfriends to make sure they're spending the night where they say they are.

Born in Houston, Conklin grew up in upstate New York and graduated from the University of Washington in Seattle with a degree in comparative religion. Landing in Dallas was a culture shock.

The women she met weren't hunting for just any husband, but the super-rich variety. To that end, they underwent plastic surgery, starved themselves, bought clothes they couldn't afford and even popped pain killers so they could sleep with guys they found revolting. (Sexy and rich is not that common a combination, Conklin's characters lament.)

"Some of it's exaggerated but a lot of it is what people told me," said Conklin, now 29 and living in Austin. "There is a high premium on looks. I don't think that's exaggerated. There is a high premium on tracking the men. There has been breaking and entering, or breaking into e-mail at the very least."

And when they weren't snooping, they were grooming.

"You can't be too overt," Conklin said. "You can't have a short skirt and a lot of cleavage. You have to choose one or the other. You have to imagine what he would be thinking of you as a wife. Dress appropriately, not desperately. Heels are always good. Accentuate the assets that you have, not the style of the day, because men never know what's in. They only know what looks good on you."

Other strategies apply once you have set your sights on a particular target.

"Find out what he likes so you can pop those things into the conversation before he does. And learn to cook one really phenomenal dish so it looks like you're a good cook."

You can always hire a chef after the nuptials.

It helps if you're not too squeamish to engage in sports, or better yet, hunting. Wrangle an invitation to a rattlesnake roundup.

Click on the link for the full article

[Leonard Washington]

from the author's website....http://www.dallaswomensguide.com/pages/askdrew.html

Want to know how a man thinks? Don’t ask your girl friends. Ask a man. But not any man — they lie about these things to protect their, er, manliness. You need ask our man Drew. An all-pro, all-everything former Dallas Cowboy linebacker turned Dallas businessman and closeted gay. There’s no ulterior motive, and he has the same problems you do.

:yikes:

[PleaseBlitz]

PB's guide to ladies that want to land a husband.

1) Be attractive.

2) Laugh

3) Dont talk so much.

[MikeInJc aka M.I.A.]

See guys, I knew blonde was trouble:D

J/K

[Destino]

PB's guide to ladies that want to land a husband.

1) Be attractive.

2) Laugh

3) Dont talk so much.

oral isn't on your list.

Your list is crap.

[MikeInJc aka M.I.A.]

PB's guide to ladies that want to land a husband.

1) Be attractive.

2) Laugh

3) Dont talk so much.

You forgot:

4) Put out

[Predicto]

Can I make a blanket comment about Texas here, or would that be out of line?

[PleaseBlitz]

oral isn't on your list.

Your list is crap.

You forgot:

4) Put out

They still make girls that dont do that? Breathing wasnt on my list either......It goes without saying.

[PleaseBlitz]

Can I make a blanket comment about Texas here, or would that be out of line?

I would limit it to Dallas and you should be fine.