Om Posted June 14, 2001 Share Posted June 14, 2001 Washington vs. Dallas ... cont'd: - Halftime at a bar ain't so bad, assuming you don't have to wait too long for a spot to open up in the head. You go back to your table, order another round, and get even sillier. Is this a great country (Canada's pretty cool, too ), or what? - When Dallas takes the field to start the second half, there's a smattering of boos heard from the crowd in Irving. The booing picks up a bit of steam when return man Wayne McGarity takes the kick two yards deep in the end zone and goes (meekly, says here) to a knee. Eddie Mason decelerates and cuts pointedly across his path, letting it be known he was right there and ready to rock, then turns away and jogs off the field. Tony Banks goes play action on 1st and ten, drops back and tries to set up. Before he can go deep to Joey Galloway on a post against Champ Bailey, however, Marco Coleman is in his face. He plows over the poor fellow, and the ball comes free. Delbert Cowsette (gotta love it) covers it ... and the boos grow even louder as the entire Redskins defense jogs off the field, looking straight --- wait a minute, what's this? There's LaVar Arrington at mid-field, windmilling his arms, screaming at the top of his lungs at the Dallas bench as he backpedals toward the Redskins bench. An amused Shawn Barber hustles over, pats him on the top of the head, and the two of them turn and make their way to the sidelines. Fingers are pointed at them from the Dallas sideline, but no one comes out. Marty greets his linebackers as they come off the field, has a quick word with LaVar, then smacks him on the @ss as LaVar heads for the Gatorade. A quick look around the bar reveals more than one burgundy and gold-clad customer doing a very creditable job of mimicking Mr. Arrington's mid-field display. Lady Om manages to calm one of them in particular, and fortunately doing so without the event rising to the level of relegation from the marital king-size. Thank goodness for Birthday Immunity. - Six plays later ... Mr. Davis goes in from the 4, this time following Mookie Moore. On the play, Dallas safety Kareem Latimore gets run over by Cory Raymer and strains his MCL. At 24 - 0, Washington, even the guys in the ABC booth know it's gonna get ugly. "Holy hair-removal, Alveeno, ol' Larrimore got Kareemed on that one, didn't he? And hey, speaking of Wounded Knee ..." - The second half sees the Cowboys scrap, but they just don't have the horses to come back. Not on this night, and not against a team demonstrating without a doubt that it is most assuredly not afraid to close the deal. Tony Banks gives way to Anthony Wright, but last year's "hero," he of the eight passes who still managed to beat the Redskins (my god), fares only a little bit better against the zone defense the Redskins throw at him. They back off the receivers just enough to keep things in front of them, but still send an extra man or two on just about every play. LaVar Arrington is a beast, and Kurt Schottenheimer lines him up all over the field, sometimes curling him up the middle, sometimes looping him wide on stunts, sometimes dropping him into coverage to menace the middle. He racks up a couple of sacks and at least 8 solid hits on the QB, various backs, and of course the occasional tight end. The thing that stands out, even to the revelers deep into their sixth pitcher of Sam Adams, is that Washington keeps the pressure on despite the seemingly insurmountable lead. - On defense, they keep everything in front of them, but punish the man the poor slob who catches the ball. Their reward comes when Darrell Green pops McGarity at the Redskin 18, rips at his arm, and Fred Smoot pounces on the fumble. He covers about 30 yards going sideline to sideline, pointing, bouncing, before finally skipping out of bounds at the 29. There are no licensed lip-readers in the bar, true ... but even the most bleary-eyed of the faithful understand the thrust of the commentary the rookie directs across the plastic expanse of Dallas' home field before Darrell Green puts an arm around his shoulder and defuses him. - The Redskins offense is pure evil. On first down, they run. No misdirection, little pulling, just off tackle, we're-comin'-at-ya football. On second down ... well, more of the same. Doesn't seem to matter if it's 3rd and long, either. Here, Stephen, take this thing and go run somebody over. Stop us? No problem ... well see you back here in a couple of minutes. As the rushing totals approach 200 yards, bets are made at the bar, good-natured smack (as perceived by the smackers, no doubt, as opposed to the smackees) is hurled at the sole remaining blue-and-silver jersey in the house (good thing she's cute, too, or this thing might just turn ugly). - Oh, I could bore you with details, I suppose, but in this case the glory is in the big picture. Suffice it to say that while the cheap score Dallas gets on a jump-ball into the end zone with a minute left DOES spoil the shutout, it most assuredly does not spoil the mood (although in the interest of good reporting, we must note that it probably helped that Stephen Alexander caught a 17-yard strike from Todd Husak, on in relief, a few minutes earlier to extend the Washington lead to 31 - 0 ). The undeniable fact is that the final score, even if Dallas does finally get on the board at 12:45 in the morning, EST, delivers fans of the Washington Redskins from 4 years of agony, ignominy, shame, incredulity, disbelief, and that gnawing, incessant, pit-of-the-gut embarrassment realized at the hands of those @^$#-ing guys with the stars on their hats. The streak is over, a new day has dawned, and all is once again right with the Burgundy and Gold. - As we reel out of the establishment which has so ably served us, we cast a quick glance over our shoulders at the television, where the ABC cameras show a nearly deserted Irving Stadium, with a big, glorious, full-color graphic filling the screen. Washington 31 ... Dallas 7 And that, my friends, is what I'm talkin' about. * On the car radio on our way home (the designated driver being, if not inebriated, certainly in high enough spirits to crank the mother), we hear Marty addressing the media. Asked about the direction he believes his team is going, we almost anticipate his response. He doesn't disappoint. "There's only one way TO go, gentlemen. Straight ahead." * Next up: who funking cares? We just crushed Dallas. [ by Om on June 14, 2001.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blade Posted June 14, 2001 Share Posted June 14, 2001 APPLAUSE!!!<IMG SRC="http://www.extremeskins.com/ubb/icons/icon14.gif" border=0> May the "Om" stand for "Omniscient"... at least for this game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickalino Posted June 14, 2001 Share Posted June 14, 2001 Answer me this : If the Redskins have NEVER been able to stop Emmitt Smith with the likes of Wilkinson, Stubblefield, etc, then how do you figure that we can suddenly stop him, with Delbert Cowsette now in the line-up ? [ by Mick on June 15, 2001.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailor Posted June 14, 2001 Share Posted June 14, 2001 Mick, one of these years we're gonna stop Emmitt. It may be 40 years from now when Darrell Green's grandson pokes a stick into the spokes of Emmitt's wheelchair but one of these years we're gonna stop him. Great post, Om. I just bought a big screen TV in anticipation. I sure hope you're right. It was tough enough watching all those Dallas losses on the little screen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indyskinsfan Posted June 15, 2001 Share Posted June 15, 2001 Mick, Haven't you heard, with Marty, all things are possible". Being that this somewhat a very good satire of events in our crystal ball, it still points out that this team has a bit of an edge now and with a nucleus still there from the last two to three years and 1 beyond, it is possible to have that Baltimore look on defense. We even have a ancient DB in Darrell Green, as they have Rod Woodson. Baltimore's offense doesn't compare with ours, even with their upgrade, but as far as comptetive, you better bet it. Now when I look at that fact, I see us kicking some cowpatties out pasture this time around. Great Job brother OM!!!! That stuff you write is better than alcohol or drugs. I think I can make it now. <FONT COLOR="Red">HTTR</FONT c><FONT COLOR="Yellow">!</FONT c><FONT COLOR="Red">!</FONT c><FONT COLOR="Yellow">!</FONT c> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyDave Posted June 15, 2001 Share Posted June 15, 2001 Uh Mick teams with lesser known DTs stopped Emmitt last year 6 in the box should handle the cowpokes running game. I like the smashmouth idea and it makes me wonder about the games when Coach Marty switches things up and unleashes JGeorge. ------------------ Yes I'm paid to think and I need a raise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brave Posted June 15, 2001 Share Posted June 15, 2001 Om, I say this in my best Jack Nickelson voice: You make me want to be a better Redskin Fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted June 15, 2001 Share Posted June 15, 2001 Om, Your writing style is as poetic as usual. But the clearly fantastic nature of this story has strained my credulity too far this time. Do you actually expect me to believe a kickoff with no flags? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted June 15, 2001 Author Share Posted June 15, 2001 Gracias, compadres, for the kind words (and you're right, Larry, what the hell was I thinking?). It has finally dawned on me (speaking of MENSA picnic dis-invitations) that going through this season one week at a time like I have been means that, if our cyberboys play into January, I won't be done with the season until some time in September. Not good. The board is gonna be rolling once camp starts, seems to me, and as this thing started out to be nothing more than off-season filler, I don't want to be throwing these things out there while you and I and everyone else want to talk ball. So ... for what it's worth ... I'm thinking to accelerate the process to "end" by no later than a few days before the first pre-season game. Don't quite know how that will be manifested yet (skipping and/or combining games, perhaps), but I'll probably stay away from endless, single-game tomes like the last few until and unless our e-guys find themselves playing after New Year's. * - Brave, I won't desecrate the image of Helen Hunt sitting on the edge of the tub (or open the door to references about my masculinity, for that matter) by opting to offer her actual response ... but that was a very cool thing to say, my friend. - Blade, when I tried to post the whole thing, I kept getting an error message (which I brightly neglected to copy) referring to a "configuration error" and directing me to contact the webmaster with the when's and wherefores. This is me doing so . Do you know if there's a hard cut-off point where UBB decides a post has rambled on long enough? Merci, mon capitan. * (You're welcome.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stricknine Posted June 15, 2001 Share Posted June 15, 2001 Om, this more than makes up for the Giant fiasco. The line from Marty was great. A game like that would make my season. ------------------ Randy Redskin Fan for Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted June 19, 2001 Share Posted June 19, 2001 Om, it just occurred to me. Don't bother writing any more games for this season. I just decided to re-read this one, and I'll just re-read this one every week till preseason starts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyDave Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 This rivals the butt whuppings of the cowpokes delivered on my PS2. I reached a high of 77-10 against them the other day with 5 minute quarters. ------------------ Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackC Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 What a great game plan. I was hoping we could get the shut out but it's been a long time since we beat the pokes so it hardly mattered. The play of the special teams was greatly improved! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoDeep3 Posted July 20, 2001 Share Posted July 20, 2001 <FONT face="Courier New">Text</FONT f> Stumbled on to this spot by accident. Read this two part diatribe about how the game against the Cowboys this season will be a whopping victory for the Skins. Dallas is certainly having a down period as is well attested in most sport periodicals. And this senario could come to pass just as the author suggests. However, don't you find this pretend game, narrated by OM to be just a little desperate. After 7 tail whippings in a row, you have been relegated to creating victories against your arch rival by creating myth on a messageboard. Shottenheimer is the type of coach that can get you only so far and then he wilts. Your elan over his hiring is reminiscent of the glee with which Redskin fans hailed the hiring of Turner. In the entire Turner era, you people just never got the real problem. You never had a QB worth a damn. Marry that with Westbrook's lack of game time guts and you have had a decade to wallow in your suffering. It wasn't Norv that was the problem. And now that Danny Snyder bought the team and decided he would buy a Super Bowl you are in even more dire straights. Your cap problems will plunge you into the depths of mediocrity. And all his money went for naught. Believe me, I know where you guys are headed. My Cowboys are mired in that same mediocrity at the moment. But be advised that this season is finding out who can and who can not play football for the Star. Draft position and 15+ million in cap space next off season means youth and experience heading to Dallas. A report came out a month or so ago that was a poll of the current players in the league. It asked who the players favorite owner was to work for. Jerry Jones was #1. So when free agency opens up next off season you will see some signings that return the shine to the Star. Then after June 1st others will follow. The draft will bring in a hallmark receiver in the vein of Irvin and the retooling/rebuilding will be moving to a new phase. Quincy Carter was projected to be the number one quarterback in the draft if he chose to enter after his sophomore year. This was prognosticated by Mel Kiper, the very same one that now claims Carter is a 7th round draft choice. Even though injury and a mass exodus of talent via graduation were the real causes of his lackluster junior year. Of course we all know Kiper as the genius that claimed Emmitt would never make it as a professional ball player. He was too slow, Mel thought. He also had the notion that Tony Mandrich would be the all-pro and Troy Aikman would be no more than a journeyman QB in the league. Three Superbowl trophies, three Super Bowl MVPs, three rushing titles later we see Mel is still giving us the vast benefit of his keen eye. We hung 'skins (no pun intended) on the wall and trophies on the mantle. We were successful in winning it all and this low time can be endured because of the sweetness of our recent past. A position others only envy. Enjoy your season, Redskin fans. This will be your year to break the curse. But keep in mind a new dawn is rising in Dallas over the next two seasons that will harken in the next era of Dallas dominance over the Redskins and the NFC East, as well the NFL. We are The Dallas Cowboys...5 Time World Champions... And a group never needing to create make-believe to overcome our enemy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimboDaMan Posted July 20, 2001 Share Posted July 20, 2001 TooShallow- Thanks for the entertainment, that was a stitch! Oh, sorry, you were serious? You make some valid points, since of course the Redskins position is precarious in places. But being lectured by a Cowboy fan about cap problems and bad owners is a howl. You snicker at our glee when we signed Norv - who was univerally recognized as the prize catch at the time - and Marty - who so far has surpassed all our hopes for this offseason. Compare that with the desperate insistence by Dallas fans that each new has-been or never-was will be The One to lead you back to the glories of last century. These guys average about 2 years each. And goodness, "never needing to create make-believe"? Is that why, with a laughable draft record the last few years, you invent mythical signings next year to supply the talent so woefully lacking on this year's team and then dreamily float your way back to league dominance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry Posted July 20, 2001 Share Posted July 20, 2001 Hey TD, dug yer nose out of that right wing wanking festival and found this place, I see. But your post indicates that your propensity for blundering in to something you don't understand and responding with non-sequitor overkill is still unparalleled. Om has been doing a weekly piece for every game in our schedule. You came here in time for the Dallas week, but it was nothing special as far as the Cowboys go, just another team. So before you thump your chest and prate that "we" are the Dallas Cowboys (didn't see you on the roster, musta missed that) blah blah, recognize that it was just one spoof out of many. I actually thought it was not one of his better efforts, but I concede that the subject matter isn't exactly inspiring. Stick around and talk some real ball, but save the reminiscing for the rocking chair. The Skins kicked *** in the 30's and 40's, but you don't see us drag that up every time somebody talks about our team in a way we don't like. It's history dude, those Cowboy trophies are as dusty as ours are at this point. [ by Terry on July 20, 2001.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoDeep3 Posted July 20, 2001 Share Posted July 20, 2001 Terry and Jimbo Yet, if history tells us anything it's that Dallas rebuilds winners that take Championships and the winner for the Redskins is running a NASCAR team. Terry, thanks for your prattle, by the way. You tend to try and shoot the messenger instead of the message. And considering the best team money could buy last year losing twice to Dallas, you have zip to crow about. The cap is coming at your team 100 mph, and all the comments you make can't change that fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blade Posted July 20, 2001 Share Posted July 20, 2001 Hmm... "Dallas rebuilds winners..." Schramm (sp) had Landry and Dallas was a very good team in the 70's. No Meridith or Staubach, and Landry was toast. What was rebuilt after Roger? Jones had Jimmy Johnson and Aikman/Triplets... and Switzer to use for a puppet with what Johnson built for him. Aftwards, BUPKISS! Jones has not rebuilt ANYTHING. History *has* shown this! To say ANYTHING else is the real fantasy. Now, if Jones & whatever current puppet head coach are able to turn Dallas into another Super Bowl winner, THEN your fantasy may have some merit. Until then, keep dreaming. [ by Blade on July 20, 2001.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins87 Posted July 20, 2001 Share Posted July 20, 2001 Wow, your description of the game made me want to go out and buy a big screen TV now. Unfortunately, I just graduated college, so I am broke. Especially since I paid for my Redskins season tickets. I had been on the waiting list for 20 years. Cant wait to beat on Dallas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Posted July 20, 2001 Share Posted July 20, 2001 Two Deep, Can I play too? When you write, as you so quaintly did, "Believe me, I know where you guys are headed. My Cowboys are mired in that same mediocrity at the moment", I have to ask how 5-11 is considered mediocre in your world. There is nothing moderately inferior with 5-11. There is nothing mildly ordinary about 5-11. Fairly, 5-11 is very nearly putrid, I'm sure you'd agree. When you wrote, as you so foolishly did, "After 7 tail whippings in a row, you have been relegated to creating victories against your arch rival by creating myth on a messageboard", I'd ask why you didn't stumble further and realize Om is creating a weekly fantasy season as a form of intellectual exercise for the sheer joy of writing such folly. I realize as a Cowboy fan, a fan of a team in outright shambles, you don't tend to see intellectual exercises and certainly don't understand them, but, take it from others, it is acceptable to utilize one's mind. Try it. You might like it, save the initial searing pain and dumbfounded incredulity at the advanced nature of other's thoughts. I'm certain Ernest Byner will thank you for crediting his fumble with Marty's wilting. As will the Browns defense for Elway's drive. It is always enjoyable watching a Cowboy fan demonstrate such imagination. That, and your mewling nonsense about the Redskins cap situation are another whimsical farse. In fact, stating what you have is a whole lot like what you criticize Om for. You've just created a fantasy world in which the Cowboys are the Phoenix risen, and Dallas is rubber and the cap woes have bounced off it to another. And we all lived happily ever after. ------------------ Doom is in the box. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Posted July 20, 2001 Share Posted July 20, 2001 Oh, and Two Deep, why is it the words of another on our cap position don't matter, but, somehow, your words do? If you had a clue the Redskins cap situation, you might be right. Since you so obviously don't, your words are those that fall well short of meaning here. I'd be willing to bet you have no idea who's even under contract for Washington next year, and I wonder if you would even have the mental prowess to find out. As always, those of you sitting in the hot Texas sun, please, for the sake of others, wear a hat. ------------------ Doom is in the box. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Judy Getsoff Posted July 20, 2001 Share Posted July 20, 2001 OM, WOW!!! Gives me the GP's, keepum cummin That stuff you write is better than alcohol or drugs. I think I can make it now. I'm so glad you didn't say sex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indyskinsfan Posted July 20, 2001 Share Posted July 20, 2001 Ah yes, Judy Getsoff, Wouldn't think of losing the "sunshine" TwoDeep, So you "finally" equaled the Skins totals for Championships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted July 20, 2001 Author Share Posted July 20, 2001 Oh, man. I stop in for one last peek before heading off on vacation, and this is what I find? Are you kidding me? I really, REALLY wish I had time to compose a worthy riposte to our little friend (somebody ought to introduce him to RuBucs), but I -- hey, wait a minute -- I DO have enough time. I've said my piece, already. I'll see 2D back here on Oct. 16. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry Posted July 21, 2001 Share Posted July 21, 2001 (picking my self up after Art has elbowed me out of the way, knocked me down, and trampled me to get at Two Deep) "did someone get the number of that bus?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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