CobraCommander

Who? The whole team?

I love the kid. Sorry he has to play for us.

Does he get a bonus? Like if he stands to make more money sure. But Howell is throwing it and getting intercepted so what’s the point.

Grant Paulsen is a fat loser. Who cares about stats!? We ****ing suck.

Well, it’s been fun. And by fun I mean whatever the exact opposite is that makes me hate myself for caring about this loser franchise.

Remember when they got embarrassed in their last game against a team from Dallass area? I do.

This better be rock bottom. I can’t take much more of being a national embarrassment.

Looks at that great offensive line Howell has. Such great! amazing!

Elated Epiphany

No mention of Nick gates though.

Dude is a whiff.

We can’t do nothing wrong. And yes I do mean nothing.

Who the hell is Chase Whiticket?

Were gonna get blown out

Oh no! Lol

Two times on that drive I saw our rb run into one of our offensive linemen that was turned around facing the rb instead of blocking.

Dan Campbell gonna get roasted

The probability of that seems like it should be 0 but damn. That’s a sobering thought.

Danny Dimes 2.0? 🤮

Probably one of the worst overall teams in terms of personnel.

Unlike you nerds who look at stats and “film” to evaluate the top QB talent in the draft, I will be doing my tried and tested eye test. Unlike most, my eye test is not based on highlights or game breakdowns. No sir. I simply take a look at the man’s mug and judge him solely on his face. So that I am as impartial as can be I will be using ESPNs head shots so that there are no unwanted variables such as resting **** face or the dreaded Beyoncé face. without further ado, here are the top five starting with number 5. Ladies and gentlemen, Bo Nix I said it before and I’ll say it again, this young man looks like he sells fake insurance to retired folks. I won’t be surprised to find out this guy is selling used dodge hellcats in a few years time. Hell I’d put money on it if Vegas would let me. Probability I’d let him date my daughter. 0% Next at number 4 we have a young man with a nice smile but something is just a little goofy, like he actually kinda reminds me of goofy. Jayden Daniels has a nice smile though and overall he not too ugly. Probability I’d let him date my daughter, 14% Next is a man everyone is talking about us taking but I’m telling you there’s something about this kid I don’t trust. At number 3, Drake Maye. Look at that smirk. So smug. It honestly probably means he’s really good and knows it, but until he proves it, I will constantly be looking over my shoulder wherever I go. Probability I let him anywhere near my daughter -100% Coming in at number 2 is a guy with a rather bulbous nose. Michael Penix Jr. Lol, you said Penix. I’m sorry the man looks perfectly fine but I just can’t with that name. Also I have the same nose, so I like him. Probability Id let him date my daughter, 75%. And finally, da belle of da ball, Caleb Williams. As with all my crushes, this one is yet again out of our reach. As it was with Tua and Luck, it seems to be our fate once again to get denied a date with the homecoming King. Probability I’d let him date my daughter. 100%z

He is a good qb on a good team. I don’t think he’d stand a chance here because our coaches and roster aren’t any good. One of our “premier” players is hovering around 50% of snaps on their defense and doesn’t have much to show for it.

Im just proving a point that a player can be broken, and we’re the team to do it. Purdy wouldn’t stand a chance here. Sam Howell could have a lot better season on a stacked 49ers team.

We haven’t been burgundy and gold since Vince Lombardi ruined that for us and turned us cranberry and yellow.

Here’s a scenario to think about. Let’s say last year we took Brock Purdy in the fifth and the 49ers selected Sam Howell as Mr irrelevant. What would the outcome be? Would Sam be getting games balls from Kyle? Would Brock be JAG with a second offensive coordinator going on three? I can say that I believe Sam would be winning games and Brock would be “broken”.