Om Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 The 3 - 1 Washington Redskins head north to Gotham looking to keep alive the momentum from the previous week's rousing win against Kansas City. Michael Westbrook has been back since Thursday's practice, but Marty plans to assess him Sunday morning before putting him back in the starting lineup. Other than that, and the usual nick here and there, the team is as healthy as any Redskin team has been a quarter of the way into a season in recent memory, and there is a sense that something is brewing in the nation's capital, as the Redskins find themselves tied with the Philadelphia Eagles for first place in the NFC East. At 2 - 2, the New York Giants haven't played poorly, but haven't really looked like the team that rolled through the 2000 NFC playoffs, either. The usually even-handed and circumspect New York media have even had the temerity to politely suggest that Big Blue perhaps endeavor to more closely resemble a cadre of warriors with testes than the amalgam of eunuch-like panty by-products that they have displayed themselves to be to date. Can you imagine? The nerve. Game Five: at New York Giants - The sky is grey, but there is no rain in the forecast. The temperature hovers in the low 60's, and there's smell of ... well ... land-fill () in the crisp fall air. Other than that, and of course the usual swirling winds (which the Giants continue to insist has nothing to do with the door at one end of the field that mysteriously swings open from time to time when the opposition has possession), it's perfect football weather in The Big Apple. The ghosts of Parcells, Gibbs, LT, Simms, Bavaro, Joe Morris, Gary Clark's dropped TD pass and Jay Schroeder's fly-away hair in the ‘86 conference title game, Rypien to a laid-out Ricky Sanders in the end zone, even Stephen Davis going Jim Brown on the locals two years ago ... all are out in force. In the stadium, nobody is seated as kickoff approaches. At home, fans drift to their Preferred Football Watching Seats, beer in hand ... butterflies doing whatever it is butterflies do when we somehow manage to grant them access to our innards. - Brett Conway's opening kickoff hangs up just a bit in the breeze, comes down short, and Giants' return man Ron Dixon bobbles it, allowing the Redskins coverage unit to converge. Someone in white gets out of a lane, however, and someone in blue makes a timely block ... and a seam opens up. Dixon darts up the middle, breaks to the right sideline, leaps over a diving Conway's attempted arm tackle, and takes off. As Giants Stadium erupts, Dixon rides a tidal sound-wave of 80,000 screaming maniacs and streaks untouched for a 92-yard touchdown. And the Skins are down 7-0 before you can say "LeCharls McDaniel." Despite four games of solid special teams play heading into this week, the name of the erstwhile special teams coach is invoked in less-than-charitable terms in many a household where burgundy and gold hues figure in the decor. - Michael Westbrook gets the start, and appears to be operating at full speed, but the Redskins offense appears off. Perhaps it's the Giants and their inspired start, perhaps it's a bit of shock in the Washington huddle, but Stephen Davis finds little running room as New York keeps seven in the box, and seems to be one step ahead of Jimmy Raye's play-calling. Jeff George is forced to dump the ball off to Davis and Stephen Alexander as the Giant's pass rush buzzes repeatedly around his knees. The first three Redskins possessions net zero points and less than 50 yards. - The Redskin defense keeps them in it early. At the start of the second quarter, Champ Bailey picks off a Kerry Collins sideline pass intended for WR Amani Toomer (what kind of name is that for a gridiron guy, anyway... brings to mind some kind of well-dressed but ultimately unwelcome growth), and shows his outstanding open-field running ability, weaving 53 yards through a host of Giants to get Washington their second interception return TD of the season. On the Giant's bench after the play, Collins can be seen exchanging words with Jim Fassel and then Toomer, whom replays show failed to come back and fight for the ball, allowing Bailey to step in front of him and make the play, tying up the game. Skins fans at home, perhaps taking their cue from the New York media, politely converse with their big-screen televisions, suggesting to Mr. Collins that he should perhaps relax, have a drink (or two) and chill out. - Unfortunately, the Washington offense continues to struggle, and after an exchange of punts, New York takes over at its own 38. On second and 6, Tiki Barber starts around left end and cuts inside of Bruce Smith, who has taken himself a bit too far outside and up field. When LaVar Arrington gets caught up in traffic and can't make the play, Barber cuts to the outside, breaks free, and streaks down the sideline. Darrell Green dives and nips his heels at the 3-yard line, but Barber stumbles into the end zone. The Meadowlands, as it is wont to do, rattles and shakes ... again. On the play, David Terrell pulls up lame and hops to the sideline, throwing his helmet under the bench more in frustration than pain. At home, Skins fans experience a sensation that much more closely resembles the latter than the former. Kurt Schottenheimer motions Josh Symonette over, and begins to speak with him earnestly. "Oh [insert colorful expletive here]" we mutter, between gritted teeth. A couple of nice Jeff George passes to Wesbrook and Gardner just before the half give Conway a chance at a long one, but he just misses a 52-yarder as time runs out. The half ends with Redskins fans re-discovering vocabulary they thought they had forgotten, with Marty looking like he has something on his mind he intends to share, and with the Giant's faithful serenading their heroes as they trot off the field, up 14 - 7. - Halftime, whether your boys are up or down ... sucks. It doesn't take 20 minutes to visit the head, grab another brew, scratch yourself, and sit your arse back down. All of that takes 4 minutes, maybe 5 (but that's only if you've had more than 3 brews already ). What to do with the other 15? We leer at our women ... but they nuke us: "Sorry, stud, come back later ... when's the last time you needed more than 3 minutes?" Om hates halftime. - We are all pleased, however, when it becomes apparent that Marty Schottenheimer has employed successful smack in the locker room as well. The Redskins come out smoking. They stuff the Giants deep in their end when a blitzing Sam Shade sacks Kerry Collins on third and ten. October fields the ensuing punt at his own 41 and starts right, when what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a sweet li'l reverse, and it brings us a tear (sorry, ‘thebard' made me put that in). Champ Bailey takes a clean handoff from Mr. October and heads back the other way. He picks up a convoy of white, jukes one man, then accelerates and glides down the sidelines, sprinting clear through the end zone for his second score of the day. - And it doesn't stop there. Washington controls the third quarter with their resurgent defense, then takes a 7-point lead when Stephen Davis caps off a pretty drive by powering in from the 3, despite the presence of a certain Jesse Armstead draped upon his person. The fourth quarter looks to be a Davis Drill, and Stephen breaks the century mark with a 12-yard burst behind a crushing double-team block on Michael Strahan by Chris Samuels and a pulling Mookie Moore. - Brett Conway hits a 29-yarder with eight minutes left to extend the Washington lead to 24 - 14, and the boys in white look to be in control. In Redskin living- and rec rooms across the country, those bedecked in their finest sartorial Redskins splendor turn once again to ogle their women, what with the smell of victory in the air, and the adrenaline coursing through their alcohol-besotten blood working its licentious magic on their libidos. The fair companions, of course, pretend not to notice, but the sharp eye nonetheless notes the slight shifting on the couch, the subtle flush on the neck, the liquid sparkle of the demurely averted eye ... Ahem. - Big Blue ( ) puts together its best drive of the day, a 79-yard, ten play affair, but has to kick a short FG when Washington stops Ron Dayne on a 3rd and 2. The Giants stop Washington after a couple of first downs, and get the ball back, but get pinned inside their 15 when Eddie Mason smacks Ron Dixon on punt coverage with a crushing hit. The momentum is squarely with Washington two plays later, when Kerry Collins is stripped of the ball by Kennard Lang, and it squirts into the end zone. New York manages to fall on it ... but the safety gives the Redskins a sweet 2 points and a 26 - 17 lead. - With just over a minute left, New York takes over at its own 8 after a good directional punt from Bryan Barker (5 games in to this weekly silliness, I suppose we could throw the punter a bone). A dump-off pass to Tiki Barber nets 11 yards. An out to Joe Jurevicius gets 13. On first and ten from the 32, Collins fools nobody with a play fake, then goes deep to a double-covered Toomer. Champ Bailey is in perfect position to made the game-ending pick. [Warning: proceed with caution] As Skins fans watch in muted horror, however, Donovan Greer, who is also in prime position (sorry) jumps a split second early, and bats at the ball. He makes contact, but rather than knock it down, pops it up into the air. As Bailey and Greer get tangled up and go down, an amazed and grateful Toomer sees the ball fall into his hands. He turns at the Redskins 24, finds nothing in front of him but green, and jogs in the end zone with the ball held high. With 38 seconds left, it's suddenly 26 - 24. - As they line up for the on-sides kick, the collective hearts of Redskins fans are in their throats. We're thinking how we've seen this movie before, and we'd really like to bail right about now. The ball disappears into a pile, there is a protracted, agonizing delay as the zebras dig in to the mass of humanity and players on both sides point in opposite directions, and ... Giants ball. 00:31 left. Taking over at his own 42 with two time outs remaining, Collins takes a quick drop and again finds Tiki Barber, this time for 9 yards, and Barber gets out of bounds at the Redskin 49 with 24 seconds on the clock. Giants TE Howard Cross makes his first catch of the day a big one, turning Symonette around and taking the ball on his knees at the 31. New York calls time out at 00:16. They go to Ike Hilliard on an out, against Darrell Green. Hilliard makes a stumbling, diving catch at the 18, dragging his toes in the general vicinity of the sideline. 00:08 left. One official rules no catch ... but another rushes in and signals it's good. They confer ... and eventually announce to the waiting world that they will review the play. It takes roughly 19 years. Viewed ad nauseam from home, even through burgundy and gold colored glasses, is the replay is inconclusive ... you just can't tell. The referee finally makes up his mind, marches slowly to the hash marks, fiddles with his mike, and announces that after further review ... it's a catch. The Meadowlands goes ballistic, while Redskins fans squint askance through their hands at the TV, puckering in places best not discussed here, as the Giants line up for a 35-yard FG. Marty ices them with his last time out ... But it doesn't matter. When it comes, the kick is straight and true. New York 27, Washington 26. 00:00. - The cameras show Darrell Green, Bruce Smith, Champ and LaVar Arrington and a host of other Redskins kneeling on the Washington sideline, staring silently at the Giants dance off the field. They're still kneeling there, disbelieving, when FOX goes to commercial. - Meanwhile ... back home ... the fans ... on their knees ... are — * It's no use, I ... can't ... go on. Gonna stumble upstairs, climb under the covers ... And suffer. [<IMG SRC="http://www.extremeskins.com/ubb/edited.gif" border=0> by Om on June 06, 2001.] (my proofreader's gonna suffer, too) [ by Om on June 06, 2001.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacs Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 UUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!! I have to believe that our defense wouldn't let this happen. A much more disciplined team will put up a stronger, more confident stand with 31 seconds left. It's our time for these games to go our way. The Giants, two years in a roll, no way! By the way, man,you kept me on the edge of my seat! Great writing! I'm sorry I've missed the first 4 games; time to go check out archives. P.S. I happen to know from experience that 20 minutes is just right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 Om, you're a dope Seriously, that looks an awful lot like a Norv Turner game to me. Special teams gaffes galore, unlucky bounces, sporadic inspired play which keeps us in the game just long enough to suffer a last-second loss to an undeserving team ... If Marty is the sort of coach we hope he is that won't happen. Besdies, if any team lucks into a win like that it will be the Cowboys. Entertaining read though. Keep up the good work. ------------------ Hail to the Redskins! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted June 6, 2001 Author Share Posted June 6, 2001 Bad bounces happen, I'm afraid, even if your coach ain't named Norval. Don't worry, though, something tells me the Cowboys will not fare as well. Jacs, thanks for the kind words. Gotta admit my curiosity is a bit piqued, though. At the risk of regretting asking ... what's the skinny on the 20 magical minutes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 Om, I was writing the reply I was going to make, complimenting your writing. (Are you a pro at this? Just curious.) But then I read the ending and changed my mind. I like your writing a lot better when the Skins win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted June 6, 2001 Author Share Posted June 6, 2001 Funny you should ask, Larry. For a couple of days there I thought I had turned pro, but the check from Tom [Giants fan] bounced ... so I guess I still retain my amateur status. Just kidding Tom ... (but please make the next one a cashier's check, okay? ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stricknine Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 Om, that sucked. I found myself feeling very similar to how I have felt several times over the last 7 years. I know you are trying to be objective and make the season seem more realistic, but sheesh, you didn't have to make me cry. ------------------ Randy Redskin Fan for Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyDave Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 I Disagree. after the norvalcism (excorcist), The demons of bone head mistakes and not so specia teams have been vanquished. Lets get real; even without our interior O line we would have beat the midgets if not for norval refusal to go with J George ------------------ Yes I'm paid to think and I need a raise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hail2skins Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 Om, that ending ruined my day and it isn't even the fall yet!! I sure hope next week you make amends with a blockbuster......may I suggest watching tapes of the 1985 Chicago Bears visit to Irving, or Philadelphia's opener last year?? That will be a revenge game of sorts.....can't wait to see how you script it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indyskinsfan Posted June 8, 2001 Share Posted June 8, 2001 SO I FIND THIS BURIED BENEATH THE RUBBLE. Parody to the finish: "After retruning from the commercial the officials and Schottenheimer had it out. Marty almost lost it big time and even Dan won't sit down from his suite! "Now they're coming back on the field and all the Giants fans are booing and throwing seat cushions and yelling obscenities everywhere. Parents, hold the children's ears on this one, please" Official: "There was a mistake in the clock at the start of the quarter, please place 56 seconds back on the clock". Announcers; "Well there's a new one, and remember the altercation between the linemen and Jevon Kearse, welll that's where all the distraction came from. It was so animated out there, that no one, I mean no one, was paying any attention to the clock". "Only in the NFL, I tell ya'". "Well now the Redskins are all pumped up and some players aren't even taped up, since many were already in the lockerrooms". "Jim Fassel's so red, you can use him as a tomato in spaghetti". "Rightfully so, though". "O.K. here's the kickoff to, uh, uh, what the heck, I don't believe it, but the ancient one has it and my God look out, Darrell Green's at the 35, 45, 50, 45, 40, 35, and he's stopped just inside the 30". "Whooaa Nelly", "He will go down in history as the oldest return man with the longest return in the NFL" (announcers laughing). "It's first and ten Redskins, at the NY Giants 28 yard line". "On first down Davis stacked up at the line of scrimmage, but squirts out of Kearse's grasp for a 2 yard gain at the 26 yard line". "Second and eight". "George takes a quick snap and he hurries his throw just a bit to WIIDE open Gardner in the corner of the end zone, while all the Giants fans take a gasp that has to heard from here to China". "There's only 14 seconds left on the clock, the Giants look livid and Fassel is still complaining to the officials". " Schottenheimer's in his patented stance on the sidelines". "Well now, Marty wants this over in a hurry, so he's got the "all hands" people in there. Even Champ Bailey's in there". George backs up and slides, get's his balance and rifles a shot to Bailey at the Giants 20, but Sehorn hangs at the 20". "By a toe". "Hey it looks like he actually held him by his shoe laces." "Lady luck was on the Giants side on that one"..Bailey had clear sailing to the end zone". "There's only 5 seconds and 4th and 2". "Here comes Conway" "Conway approaches and sticks all ball and heads over everyone straight towards the end zone and,....... PHZZZZZT!!!! Power outtage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackC Posted June 8, 2001 Share Posted June 8, 2001 Quit it...the real games are hard enough! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Daye Posted June 9, 2001 Share Posted June 9, 2001 "The cameras show Darrell Green, Bruce Smith, Champ and LaVar Arrington and a host of other Redskins kneeling on the Washington sideline, staring silently at the Giants dance off the field. They're still kneeling there, disbelieving, when FOX goes to commercial" Just one thing Om, the game is Sunday night so I doubt Fox will be going to commercial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hail2skins Posted June 9, 2001 Share Posted June 9, 2001 No, Om has it right......the game up there is an afternoon game.....the one here (later in the season) is the night one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom [Giants fan] Posted June 9, 2001 Share Posted June 9, 2001 I LOVED IT!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bucs92 Posted June 9, 2001 Share Posted June 9, 2001 call 911........call 911....Om.....needs.....a life...... But until you get one, three points: 1) The Skins won't be 3-1 or 4-0 (everyone say, "Chargers" with me) 2) NFL halftimes do not last 20 minutes 3) 26 points is the Redskin anticipated offensive output for both games against the Giants, cumulatively. ------------------ Hey, didn't you used to be the Boston Redskins (shaddup!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Om Posted June 9, 2001 Author Share Posted June 9, 2001 If nothing else, Bucs92, you are consistent. Did Henry not even give you pause? Well, no, I can see from your contributions today that that's a silly question. Never mind. Flame away ... If you expect any more responses, though, you may want to choose someone else. I'm not interested. * (Blade & Die Hard, that icon you slapped on bizarro Norv doing anything?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom [Giants fan] Posted June 9, 2001 Share Posted June 9, 2001 I actually didn't like the part about the Giants being 2-2. We shall see though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blade Posted June 10, 2001 Share Posted June 10, 2001 Om, props for taking the high ground. Regarding those icons... I always knew that we'd eventually have to deal with a loser who wastes our time getting his rocks off on poking at our proverbial hornet's nest. I've been holding on to this icon for just such a 'flamer'. Too bad he isnt even good at it. Enjoy, RuBucs92... You've earned it. I won't be too surprised if you feel right at home in your new 'clothes'. Come here & talk intelligent football like the rest of the excellent visitors we have, or you'll find yourself enjoying our company less and less. [ by Blade on June 10, 2001.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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