Tmoney03 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 AN NFL EROTIC STORY (WHAT WE THINK TO DO WHEN OUR DORM LOSES POWER AND WE CANT WATCH TV) By: Gags and LaRocque The night is a complete Donald Hayes. I was very Mike Singletary, and ready for a night out in David Boston. I was dressed very Sterling Sharpe, and ready to Samari Rolle. My hair was very Brian Griese. I saw a hot girl named Ashley Lelee and decided to roll the Kevin Dyson. I asked if I could buy her a Marty Schottenheimer of Jose Cortez from the Matt Bahr. She had a large Greg Biekert and was very Billy Joe Tolliver, but I was certainly in no mood to be Carl Pickens, and I also overlooked her O.J. McDuffie. We talked for a while, and Phillipe Sparks flew. I wanted to Marshall Faulk her so bad!!! Although it was still very Quinn Early, we decided to hop into my David Carr, and head back to my Charles Stackhouse. We drove down the Tai Streets, and then took the Dominic Rhodes to my house. On the way home, she began to suck my Doug Flutie, and I became not such a good Donald Driver I almost lost control of the Mark Wheeler. I wanted to put my Ron Dixon her. Finally, we turned on to Max Lane, and into my driveway. My Morgan Sheppard was Brian Barkering at us. We went in and began to drink some Jim Millers, and I really began to come out of my Art Shell. I asked her if she was interested in smoking some Roosevelt Potts, and she said that she was very Keenan on that idea. When we finished, we went into the kitchen, and ate some hot Julius Peppers, some Kent Graham crackers, some pork-fried Jerry Rice, and some cookies that were Duce Staley. All of a sudden, she noticed the Marc Bulger in my pants. I tried to Kurt Warner that I was no Brandon Short, in fact I was rather Steve Largent, but she told me that she liked them Howie Long. I knew then that I wanted to put it in her Todd Pinkston. She was like Clay Matthews in my hands. I began to A.J. Feely her Eric Moulds. It was Peerless Priceless. She had great Y.A. Tittles. I told her to Lorenzo Neal, she did so, and her head began to Bob Christian on my Keyshwan Johnson. When she was Warrick Dunn, I layed her down on the Tim Couch and took off her pants, and realized that she was very Joey Harrington, but it was too late to find a Tiki Barber open anywhere, so I started Chad Eaton. It was then that I gave her the Jeremy Shockey! She jumped on me and began to ride me like a Peter Boulware. The whole time she was grabbing my Lance Shulters. She started screaming and telling me that I was the Peyton Manning as I ripped her Sam Gash. Then I Jerome Bettised her over the counter and put my Kato Serwanga in her Marion Butts, It was my night to be a Bart Starr. We Stan Humphried all night long. I was a real Champ Bailey When we finished, I again put my dick in her butkus, but it came out Dave Brown. She finished me off with a Norman Hand job, I Randall Cumminghammed and she ended up all Jamel White. Finally, I made her Mike Golic my ass. she was yelling “Rob Moore!” but my Bryan Cox had become very Mushin Muhhamed. When we were finished, she told me that she wanted to snort some Dexter Coakley. Then she made me nervous when she said she had to drop a Deuce McCalister. It was then that the Ty Law showed up. I looked out the windows and saw the Leonard Marshall at the door. I escaped out the back Charles Way. I hitchhiked with a Stacy Mack truck driver and made a getaway to Joe Montana, and called my Lawyer Milloy. “All this over a couple of Teddy Bruschies” I thought. “How was I to know that she was too Steve Young. That stupid Leroy Hoard!” Well, they threw the Marty Booker at me, and told me that I only had one Kerry Collins. I called my mom and she said I was being a real Mark Chmura I had to share a jail Parcell with Ray Carruth. He told me about how he had Webster Slaughtered his wife with his Brian Blades, and how she was picked up by the Maurice Hurst. He even Terell Buckleyed her in. I have developed Randy Moss on my feet from the prison showers. There is a Rod Gardner here who always looks at me funny. I really wish I was an Antonio Freeman. What I wouldn’t give to be free like an Issac Byrd. I am never even able to watch my favorite TV show, the Tom Brady Bunch. People always change the Chandler on me. I can also never listen to my favorite band Jason Hanson. All the prison guards like to listen to Michael Jackson. So because of this one night, I live with a bunch of Ben Gay guys, my willy is green, and I now have a Junior Seau on the way. Why didn’t I wear a USC Trojan. When I got out for one Vonnie Holliday weekend, we took Junior to a Jeff Garcia concert a Terry Fair in San Fransisco. I Warren Mooned the crowd, and gave some lucky ladies a look at my Haywood Jeffries. Have a good Sammy Knight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RP81 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Your friends have WAY too much time on their hands. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golgo-13 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Man, and I thought I was bored. :laugh: :notworthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RabidFan Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Gotta give props to anyone who can find a use for Kato Serwanga's name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poidog22 Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 Man, what happened to good ol' binge drinking in college? :pint: :puke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drex Posted June 6, 2003 Share Posted June 6, 2003 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickalino Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 I decided to play this game, except using all Redskin names. Well, almost all of them are Redskins. I drove my girlfriend to an empty Andre Lott and we were makin out in the backseat of my Hot Rod Gardner. The only thing she had to Kevin Ware, was a thong bikini so it made my Pat Wood**** start to get Kevin Hardy and I was feelin kind of Peppi Zellner so I pulled out the ‘ol Tre Johnson. This went on until some flashing blue lights made the backseat Ethan Allbright. Startled by the cops, I paused. But she said she wanted so much Larry Moore. I said, “Are you being Mike Cecere with me ?” She said “Yes.” Besides, I made several Ladell Betts with my buddies whether I could go all Sammy Knight with her. So I slipped my Rod Jones back into her Richmond Flower til I popped her Raphel Cherry. I made her groan and Moo like a Del Cowsette. She said, Mick, you’re so awesome that you could be a Trung Canidate for “Porn Star of the Year”. I had to hurry because that cop was fixin to rake me upon the hot Laveranues Coles. The cop grabbed me by the Jessie Armstead. I said, that wasn’t very Brandon Noble for an officer, and Ifeanyi you don’t let go, I’ll Antonio Pierce your nose, until your Flemister starts oozing out. He let go Justin Skaggs time, before I started to hit him. The officer said, You’re being a Robert Royal pain in the @ss. We’re going to Jeremiah Trotter over to the station. I was determined to Renaldo Wynn this battle with the cop. After all, I was Alex Molden to be be a Champ Bailey. So I reached Patrick Downey for the gear shift and sped away, not knowing I was headed straight for a Cliff Russell. The car bounced off a Rock Cartwright and landed in a river. My girlfriend started to go underwater til I threw her a Bruce Branch, and she proceeded to Wade Davis thru the water to the Brad Banks of the river. She was impressed. In one night I managed to give her great sex, save us from the cops, and save her from drowning. So I took a Matt Bowen as she applauded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins_Junkie Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 :rotflmao: :rofl: :laugh: :thumbsup: :high: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 I can't believe you didn't use Tongue, Booty or Boutte. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMac Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 That was awesome Mick. Since the first post was June 6th and your post is dated today (June 26th), did it take you 20 days to come up with this? It would have taken me much longer than that! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :notworthy :notworthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickalino Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 Originally posted by SkinsFan56 That was awesome Mick. Since the first post was June 6th and your post is dated today (June 26th), did it take you 20 days to come up with this? It would have taken me much longer than that! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :notworthy :notworthy Thanks, but actually it didnt take 3 weeks to write it. The idea or thought crossed my mind a few weeks ago to do it, but I just didnt have the free time to do it until now....and the free time amounted to about a half hour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrangeSkin Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 What's worse is that I actually read both stories and understood them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Hmmmmmmmm. I seem to notice a recurring theme here. Making a case for the ole stereotype......"one track mind." I will give credit to the ability to do this. And, it make sense. Blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Invisible Poster Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Both stories are funny. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyDave Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Funny but not as funny as the classics that involve candy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickalino Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 Originally posted by Blondie Hmmmmmmmm. I seem to notice a recurring theme here. Making a case for the ole stereotype......"one track mind." I will give credit to the ability to do this. And, it make sense. Blondie Oops, sorry if I offended the Lady-Skin. But imagine how offended she'd be if I hadn't used Rock's name in the thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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