Taylor 36 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 I got this in an e-mail yesterday, and I thought that it would be interesting to see the comments some on this board would make about it. Plus, it doesn't mention Lavar, which is a plus. So, have fun. :munchout: A SPEECH FROM A U.S. PRESIDENT - I WISH... My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is time now to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries, which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening. Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine?? Wrestling with an epidemic?? Call France. In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize?? Try France, or maybe China. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets.? Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York. A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2.? President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em?? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the United State s is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys! We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. If you can read this in the papers, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier. God bless America. Thank you and good night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingtiger1013 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.[/Quote]Ah man, you're going to really pi$$ off Kilmer17 for that one! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cdowwe Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Very entertaining read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Monk Fan Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Oh, boy. :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
footballhenry Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Haha, nice speech. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilmer17 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Why the unneccesary dig at Soccer? Wont it be sweet to beat the world at their own game? And one that the overwhelming majority of Americans dont care about and dont know how to play? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Monk Fan Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Why the unneccesary dig at Soccer?Wont it be sweet to beat the world at their own game? And one that the overwhelming majority of Americans dont care about and dont know how to play? The real victory will be in getting the rest of the world to actually call it Soccer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilmer17 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 The real victory will be in getting the rest of the world to actually call it Soccer! That'd be classic. Have a sharpie pen ready and when they hand us the cup in victory, scratch out the word football and write in Soccer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Oh, boy. :doh: Yes, I agree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Monk Fan Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 That'd be classic. Have a sharpie pen ready and when they hand us the cup in victory, scratch out the word football and write in Soccer. Sweet! I'd definitely pay to see that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Monk Fan Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Yes, I agree That letter is more proof that the far left and the far right bend around and meet each other. Cindy Sheehan is nuts for her isolationist views and so is this author. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 "we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come." And the oil will be delivered to each state by a pack of unicorns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilmer17 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 "we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come."And the oil will be delivered to each state by a pack of unicorns. Are you serious Clark? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pabst81 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 The arrogence that seeps from this "fake" letter rings a familar tone. It reminds me of the same arrogence that came from a certain president at the start of his administration. This note actually pretty much sums up the last five years which some would say have been pretty unsuccessful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Are you serious Clark? Kilmer, you don't think the oil in Alaska is earmarked for the US do you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Too bad no one has the balls to say things like that out loud Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Too bad no one has the balls to say things like that out loud So true Sarge. That oil is earmarked for Asia, all of this "we need to drill in Alaska for ourselves" is bunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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