OT- Best Man Speeches

[@DCGoldPants]

There was nothing on T.V. last night so I watched a copy of that movie Serendipity (spelling) with John Cusak and this crazy hottie. Anyway, in one scene his buddy makes this really good best man speech.

Anyway, I am the best man in a wedding in about 8 weeks and I've started thinking about a speech. Then I thought that a lot of you guys have already done this. I'm asking if you peeps have any good generic speechs or lines I could use.

I want to use a line from the Simpson's where Homer says "If I could please just say a few words.........................I'd be a better speaker" but I think nobody would get it.

Alittle help please! I have no problem copying from you fine Gents.

[Mickalino]

That's wierd. I'm going to be the 2nd best man (2nd string) at a wedding, which is also in 8 weeks, and also in the DC area. Could this be the same wedding ? Basically, my oldest brother is the best man, and if he can't make the flight from Casablancas, where he's at right now, then I'll be the best man. I didn't realize I might need a speech. I better get working on it right now. Thanks for the tip.

[@DCGoldPants]

Here is my opener....maybe

Before I begin, I just want to say that Tim said he wants to be eating at (time). Right now it’s ____pm, so we’ll say how well that goes. Also, I know there are people here who get emotional at weddings, and I may or may not say something in my toast which may or may not make you cry, and some of may not be sure as to when exactly you should raise your glass, or even when I complete my toast. No worries, I will cue you for all these events, because I am a great best man (not because of what I do today but because I helped put together a bachelor party that Christine is never allowed to hear about!), and this will be the greatest toast ever. When I go for my tissues, that will be your cue to have your tissues handy, and when I raise my glass, that will be your cue to raise your glass, and when I drink my champagne, that will be your cue to drink your champagne, and then you may applaud me for giving a great toast, or for finally finishing so we can start to eat, whichever you feel comfortable with. And Tim, once their applause has died down, that will be your cue to go eat.

[ctrice]

If you do a "Best man speech" search you will get quite a few hits. I did this before my brothers wedding a couple years back and it helped a lot. I didn't steal anything but it gave me some ideas as to which direction I wanted to go. I couldnt get too humorous (which is my nature) because his wife has no sense of it AT ALL.

[Die Hard]

Here's your opener:

"I was really nervous before hand, so I prepared a few lines - and having snorted them I'm feeling pretty good right now..."

[@DCGoldPants]

HAHAHAHA! Lines! That is a straight up trip.

[Erwin S.]

There's a classic joke that I opened with once that I heard again a couple years later (it might be overused by now - kinda depends where you're from):

Ask the bride to hold up her hand, palm up. Ask the groom to place his hand over hers. Then tell everyone to look and remember this moment because it's the last time you'll see so and so get the upper hand.

Haha. But it was worth a good laugh and got things rolling. I would include one inside joke - BUT ONLY ONE - to give props to the groom and your/his buddies. More than one will leave the rest of the crowd saying "HUH?" too often.

If you want to get senimental try this(I made it up and it worked):

Tell the bride and groom something like: "I admit I go through stretches when I see the world and I can't beleive in love. But standing here now, looking at the two of you and the way you hold each other's hands and the way you look at each other, I know that loves exists. And I know that you are both very lucky to have found each other. You two are now faced with a world of possibilities. You can build mountains and climb them, you can wage wars and win them, you can write songs and sing them. All at once or one at a time, it doesn't matter. All that will matter is that you can do anything and everything together with love. With love anything is possible."

That's a bit of one I used for my brother a few years back. Funny thing is I went to a funeral for my brother's wife's grandma a few weeks ago and my bro was introducing me to his wife's extended fam and he would say "I think you've met before." And they would look all sketchy and then he would say "he was the one that gave the speech at our wedding reception." And the bell would go off and they would say things like: "Oh yeah, great speech." I guess everyone has their ten minutes of fame - too bad mine were spent half drunk at a reception holding a microphone infront of 200 other half drunks people.

[@DCGoldPants]

Very nice.

How about Wedding Singer style

"remember that time in Tiajuana when we picked up those prostitutes?.....well....I don't know if they were actually prostitutes...we never paid them!"

[Kilmer17]

I too, will be a best man in July, Crazy.

The best one I ever heard was the following paraphrased.

"what can I say about Will and Jen, they have both been the greatest friends.....(emotional drivel)....and always been their in my time of need. Jen even let me stay at her apartment when I got kicked out by my ex. And as much as I appreciate that gesture, I think it's time that I gave her the key back." With that the best man walked over to the tanble and placed a Key in front of the bride. Followed by every other member of the grooms party, his dad, the ring boy, other guys from the crowd, and finally the priest. Classsic. Of course you have to be close with both (which Im not, I barely know the bride) and they better have a great sense of humor.

[JMac]

I got this idea from the father of the best man as I gave the speach. Before the wedding go to home depot and buy about 20 uncut keys (So you can return them later and get your money back)

During the reception hand the keys to all the women who are attending and tell them to not tell anyone you have them and that you will be using them during your speech.

So when its time for the speech get up and say "Before I give my speech I have a favor to ask of all the ladies. Now that (groom) is off the market can I get all the ladies to please come up and return his house key"

IT WAS A SUCCESS. GREAT RESPONSE!!!!

[Blondie]

Die Hard.....that is classic. This key thing is great too. I will have to look out for these things should I get married. I attended a wedding where the best man asked everyone to stand....and applaud. He then asked the photographer to take a picture. He said he wanted the picture in the paper and the caption to read...."Best Man Gets Standing Ovation." Good luck in the wedding.

Texas Blondie

[@DCGoldPants]

TX, that is really funny. I might use that one.

[Skins24]

lol, these are very good!

And Erwin:

That's a bit of one I used for my brother a few years back.

Is your brother a Cowboy fan too? Because this would be a great spot to talk about Cowboy fans and their....strange relationships and their....unusual mating habits. But since that speech was so good, you're safe for now!

[cdanrun]

Most important advice when you write the speech. Remember that you are writing for speaking, and not writing for reading. The way we read what we write sometimes comes out very choppy. To help make the speech flow, start sentences with "and" and "but" to help you during your transitions when you speak. It might help you cut down on those "ums." Keep the sentences short and brief.

Traditional best man's wish: "Good luck, good health and happiness, and may all their troubles be little ones."

Simple intro: " Today is ____ and _____ big day. The world belongs to them, and we are here to join in the celebrations."

Simple ending, toast: Let us raise our glasses, then to the bride and groom and to their happy future together. Ladies and gentlemen... To _____ and ____ ."