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Current Events Christmas Songs; Tailgate Edition


Teller

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My Favorite Fails --

Presidents with split lips, dems licking their woundies,

Trying to figure out if he's from Burundi,

FOXNews reporting on rambling emails,

These are a few of my favorite fails!

Christmas tree lightings and two failed phone calls,

TSA workers groping shoppers at air malls,

Fireworks fired with love from Jong-Il,

Sometimes the holidays are quite a raw deal!

When the Skins lose,

When there's no booze,

When I feel like Wade,

I just think of a few of my favorite fails,

And realize I've goooootttttt it maaaaaaaade!

Realizing they didn't find Natalie's jaw bone,

Having a flipper instead of a iPhone,

Watching planes try to land inside Pak-i-stan,

Makes me the crank-i-est hog in the land!

An old lady trampled to death on Black Friday,

Someone should have told her to get out of my way,

A San-su-i TV for 98 bucks,

She should have known she was pushing her luck!

Don't ask, don't tell.

Oh what the hell.

I don't really care.

Just keep both your feet on your side of the stall,

And then we can calllllll it faaaaiiiiirrrrr!

Feel free to make up your own. And Burgold, you can use Hanukkah songs if you want. ;)

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My Favorite Things has become a Christmas Song? When did this happen? :pfft:

Here's a children's holiday classic. Snyder's Dreidel

I bought a little sports team

I made it out of free agents

I traded all my draft pics

Oh, the players I shall rent

Oh Vinny, Vinny, Vinny

let's have a little fun

I fired all my experts

to have a team to run

It didn't work out greatly

no matter who who was coach

I hired lots of all stars

I lost no matter who I poach

Oh Vinny, Vinny, Vinny

let's have a little fun

I fired all my experts

to have a team to run

We made a lot of money

We sold a lot of jerseys

but when it came to trophies

the cupboard was empty

Oh Vinny, Vinny, Vinny

trade another pick

it's got to work out this time

This losing makes me sick

I fired all the coaches

I fired all the stars

I hired all new coaches

I signed all new stars

Oh Vinny, Vinny, Vinny

It's time to go away

I'm tired of this losing

every single day

I didn't get quite Zorny

Not even with old coach Gibbs

star coaches made me horny

and I always got first dibs

Oh Vinny, Vinny, Vinny

It's time to go away

I'm tired of this losing

every single day

Now my hair has started thinning

and my raquetball's lost a step

It's time to find some experts

I'm so out of my depth

Oh Vinny, Vinny, Vinny

It's good to see you go

It's time to see some winning

and get people in the know

get people in the know!

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