B&G Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 It is impossible to lick your elbow. A crocodile can't stick its tongue out. A shrimp's heart is in its head. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. Horses can't vomit. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles? In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts. Most lipstick contains fish scales. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different. Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow. (Haha! XD) George Washington isn't the first president. He was the first elected president. Men are 6 times more likley to be struck by lightning than women. It is estamated that millions of trees in the world are accidently planted by squirrles who bury nuts and forget where they hid them. Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel,"Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 words--none of them with the letter "E". Of all the words in the english laguage, the word set has the most definitions. A toothpick is the object most often choked on by americans. Every 45 seconds, a house catches on fire in the United States. The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth. Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone. A hippo can open it's mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot tall child inside. A quarter has 119 grooves on it's edge, a dime has one less groove. A humming bird weighs less than a penny. Until 1796 there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee. The earth weighs 6,588,000,000,000,000,000.000.000 tons. A ****roach can live several weeks with it's head cut off. The most used letter in the English alphabet is "E", and "Q" is the least used. There are more than 50,000 earthquakes throughout the world every year. The original name for the "butterfly" "Flutterby". Dogs and cats, like humans, are either right or left handed...or is that paws. ? The opposite side of cubed dice always add up to seven. Nose prints are used to identify dogs, Just like humans use fingerprints. Bulls are color blind, therefore will usually charge at a matadore's waving cape no matter what color it is --be it red or bright yellow. Apples are more efficent than caffine in keeping people awake in the mornings. Butterflies taste with their feet. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year. On average people fear spiders more than they do death. Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. A snail can sleep for three years. No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH." Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. All polar bears are left handed. In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,including their eyebrows and eyelashes. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Evil Genius Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 Some of these are urban legends... From snopes.com....."The purpose of Title 14, Section 1211 of the CFR was not to "make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles"; the law allowed the government to prevent the possibility of biological contamination from pathogens carried to Earth by men and objects returning from space by enforcing a quarantine on any people, plant or animal life, or other material that had "touched directly or come within the atmospheric envelope of any other celestial body." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B&G Posted July 10, 2003 Author Share Posted July 10, 2003 Oh, yeah? Try the "sixth sick sheiks" one! The following is true, however: Several Fun Things To Do In A Public Toilet 1. Comment "Pooh, who did that?" 2. Complement people on their shoes. 3. Introduce yourself to the person in the next stall. Strike up a conversation. 4. Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects. 5. Ask the person in the next stall if there's anything swimming in THEIR bowl..... 6. Discuss the pros and cons of laxatives. 7. Scream " Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?" 8. Simulate drinking a slurpy..loudly! 9. Pretend to fall in (with appropriate sound effects). 10. Roll Easter Eggs under the doors. 11. Start a sing-a-long. 12. Act schizophrenically. 13. Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there is anyone in there. If so, ask if they are busy.... 14. Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman. 15. Ask loudly "When does the movie start?" 16. Write 'nerdy' graffitti like "Please wash your hands. Thank you." 17. Kick in stall doors, camera in hand. 18. Pour water over the stall door onto occupant. 19. Say "Oops.... missed" while syringing water out around the bowl and under the walls and door into other stalls. 20. Fake an orgasm. 21. At night, switch off the lights. 22. Run around naked yelling "Where's the fish?" 23. Collect a door charge. 24. Ask "Is there a doctor in the house?" 25. Impersonate Elvis. Be convincing. 26. Ask whether anyone can see your pet sewer rat/river python/axolotl. 27. Write essay questions on the toilet paper. 28. Put cling-film (Glad Wrap) over the toilet bowl. 29. Offer refreshments. 30. Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper. 31. Run in, yelling "Free Willy!" 32. Charge admission. 33. Electrify metal urinals. 34. Leave a ladle in the toilet bowl. 35. One word: GOLDFISH. 36. Make a jello in the bowl. 37. Place a sign advertising "Driver's side airbags" as standard. 38. Remove stall doors. 39. Glue seat and cover down to bowl. 40. Place signs warning of 24 hour video surveillance. 41. Make stall doors lockable only from the OUTSIDE. 42. Put itching powder on the toilet seats. 43. Leave a fried egg floating in the bowl. 44. Replace soap in dispenser with custard. 45. Completely soak the towel in the towel dispenser, or the paper towels if available. 46. Make kitty litter trays that fit into toilet bowls. Install. 47. Replace condoms in vending machine with tampons (or vice versa). 48. Create a crime scene complete with police tape and chalk silhouette. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sho-nuff Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 WOW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panel Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 Hey, I just licked my elbow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phat Hog Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 :laugh: :laugh: Man, we have a lot of time in here, don' we :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gridironmike Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 Originally posted by B&G In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,including their eyebrows and eyelashes. Them dudes musta been tuff when it got to the tender areas of the 'ol midsection! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 Originally posted by panel Hey, I just licked my elbow! that wasn't your elbow :doh: :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GB81 Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 I just licked the elbow of the girl in the cube next to me...is that worth anything at all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashback Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 ****. My copier's broken. :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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