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Pac-Man Jones: 'I Will Be Nowhere Near Next Friday's Strip-Club Stabbing'


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LOS ANGELES—Suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pac-Man" Jones called a press conference Tuesday in order to emphasize that he will be nowhere near a possibly fatal stabbing that will occur during a fight involving several members of his entourage and the bartender at an L.A.–area strip club this coming Friday.

"I just want people to know that I'm not going to be present at Shaker's, the club where possibly about to be deceased chump-ass bartender Darrent Wilson has been known to exchange harsh language and threats with my known associates, including kicking me and my people out of his establishment," said Jones,


This is old and of COURSE it is the Onion but I couldnt stop laughing and thought I would share with everyone here. You gotta be able to laugh at comedy when its funny no matter the team you root for.

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the face you made looks just like your sig.

did this story offend you or was it too low for your standards?

I thought it was funny, sorry you cant.

(refraining from the obvious comment that can be made)

I honestly thought it was a terrible Onion piece. I am a HUGE fan of the Onion. However, this wasn't that funny. Not offensive either. Just not that funny.

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