FootballGuy2677 Posted September 18, 2005 Share Posted September 18, 2005 Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?A: A huddle lol quincy carter... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 A Eagles Fan, Redskin Fan, and a Cowboy fan go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the Eagles fan on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" :jerk: The Redskins fan on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then Cowboy fan in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!" :yes: There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 18, 2005 Author Share Posted September 18, 2005 On a visit to the United States, the Pope is taking a boat tour of the Chesapeake Bay when he sees a man out in the water, dressed in a Dallas Cowboys jersey, and being attacked by a shark. As the Pope is giving the man his last rights, he sees a boat quickly approach with three men dressed in Redskins jerseys. When they reach the Cowboys fan, the Redskins fans shoot the shark with a harpoon, freeing the Cowboys fan. They then proceed to pull the fan and the shark into the boat and kill the shark. Upon seeing this, the Pope yells to the fans, ”That is one of the most heroic things I have ever witnessed. I had heard that Redskins and Cowboys fans do not get along at all, but due to your expression of kindness towards another man, especially an enemy, I will ask God to give you all eternal peace and watch over you forever.” As the Pope sped off, one of the Redskins fans in the boat turns to the others and says , “Who was that?” One of the others says, “That was the Pope, God’s right hand man on earth, so we should be honored to receive such a blessing.” Then the last Redskins fan asks ”Well that’s great, but should we throw this bait back in, or get us another Cowboys fan?” There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 19, 2005 Author Share Posted September 19, 2005 The assistant county coroner calls the head coroner at 3:00 AM and says excitedly, "You have to come into the office, I have something incredible to show you." The coroner responds, "Just tell me what it is over the phone.” But the assistant says, “This is something you just have to see.” The coroner then says, ”It better be good for you to wake me up so early.” He gets dressed and drives the fifteen minutes to his office. When he gets there, he sees a dead man, wearing a Cowboys’ hat, lying on a gurney, face down, with a cork stuck in his butt. The assistant coroner pulls the cork out and out comes a noxious fart that says, “The Cowboys are number 1.” The assistant asks “Isn’t that the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen?” To which the coroner replies, “You mean you got me up at 3:00 in the morning just to hear another ass say the Cowboys are number one?” There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 19, 2005 Author Share Posted September 19, 2005 A guy walks into a Cowboy bar with a Rottweiler by his side. The dog is wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey and helmet, and is festooned with Cowboy pom poms. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins with the Cowboys receiving the kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at about the 30, and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?" The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for 4 years." There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hail_to_Kessel Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 yea because the redskins are much closer to the super bowl than the cowboys!!!!!!......lol .......that is ONE FUNNY JOKE!!!!! I'm laughing my ass off, so yah it is funny troll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hail_to_Kessel Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Rocky21 that was a good one I loved it...hahahaha....lol! :thumbsup: if you got anymore go ahead and post them. That sh.. was hilarious I had to tell my wife! She laughed so hard that she farted it was nasty! HAHA!@ I hope it wasn't a hersey squirt!?:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoeRedskins Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 A Skins fan, a Cowboys fan, a Giants fan and an Eagles fan were all mountain climbing together one day. As they were climbing up the mountain, they were jawing back and forth with each other over whose team was the best. When they finally reach the top of the mountain, all four are standing around when the Giants fan inexplicably says "This one is for the Giants" and jumps off the mountain. The Eagles fan, not wanting to be out done, says this one is for the Eagles," and jumps off the mountain. The Redskins fan then says "This one is for everybody" and pushes the Cowboys fan of the cliff. :eaglesuck :gaintsuck :dallasuck :dallasuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 19, 2005 Author Share Posted September 19, 2005 A Skins fan, a Cowboys fan, a Giants fan and an Eagles fan were all mountain climbing together one day. As they were climbing up the mountain, they were jawing back and forth with each other over whose team was the best. When they finally reach the top of the mountain, all four are standing around when the Giants fan inexplicably says "This one is for the Giants" and jumps off the mountain. The Eagles fan, not wanting to be out done, says this one is for the Eagles," and jumps off the mountain. The Redskins fan then says "This one is for everybody" and pushes the Cowboys fan of the cliff.:eaglesuck :gaintsuck :dallasuck :dallasuck Now, that was funny! Ive never heard that one.. you are my hero..:notworthy ! I hope we push Dallas of the mountain tonight..GO SKINS, DALLAS SUCKS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 A washington post reporter goes down to the anacostia river to check out a story about a man who had drowned. Upon arriving at the river, the reporter saw several police and the Chief standing around a dead man with a cowboys jersey and heavy chain rapped all around his body. The reporter gasps and asks the Chief "what happen to this man" the Chief replied, " Oh it's just another cowboys fan trying to steal more chain than he could swim with":laugh::laugh::laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunarluau Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 How do you stop a Cowboys fan from drowning? Take your foot off of the back of his head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 An Eagles fan walks onto a construction site looking for a job. The foreman told him that he looked pretty stupid but he did need a laborer so he hired him. . Later that day the Eagles fan asked the forman if he knew of a place he could rent a room. The forman told he was in luck, and that the port-a-john was availble. So the E-fan moves in. A week goes by and the Foreman noticed a TV antenea on the roof of the port-a-john. Next week there were two TV antenea. So he asked the Eagles -Fan "why the hell do you need 2 TV antenea" ....... the Eagles Fan replied "I'm renting the basement out to a Cowboys Fan" :eaglesuck:eaglesuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Share Posted September 20, 2005 Q. A smart Redskin fan, a very smart Cowboy fan, Santa Claus, and the Easter bunny sit in 4 corners of a square room. In the center is a pot of gold. A bell rings, and they all take off for the pot. Who gets it? A. The Redskin fan... cause there's no such thing as Santa Claus, there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny and there's no such thing as a smart Cowboy fan! There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 20, 2005 Author Share Posted September 20, 2005 Joe and his buddy Bill are heading to the Super Bowl and they're really late. They arrive at their seats just as they're kicking the ball off. They sit down, look around and make themselves comfortable. After a few minutes, Joe says to the next guy beside him, 'Wow, I can't believe this seat between us is empty. I've got buddies that'd give their right arm for the seat.' The guy across from him responds, "Yeah, actually this was my wife's ticket, but she passed away." There is an awkward silence, and wanting to end it Joe blurts out the first thing that he can think of, 'I'm sorry to hear that, my condolences, but couldn't you find someone to take her seat?' "Nah, they're all at the funeral." :laugh: There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 22, 2005 Author Share Posted September 22, 2005 Every Sunday morning before the game, a Redskins fan sees the same Cowboys fan walking along the side of the road on the way to church. Every week, the 'Skins fan swerves his truck towards the side, coming close enough to scare the poor Cowboys fan, but never too close. One day, the 'Skins fan sees the Priest walking along. He pulls over. "Father, what happened?" "My car broke down!" So the Skins fan takes the priest into his truck and drives towards church. Sure enough, he sees the same ol' Cowboys fan walking and thinks "Oh no, I can't swerve like that with a priest in here!" So he decides to make it look accidental, he sneezes and swerves towards the Cowboys fan like always. He closes his eyes during the sneeze for a split second and hears a loud THUD. He looks up and says, "Oh no! What just happened!" The Priest says, "Don't worry, you missed him. But I got him with the door!" There are more on the next page! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 22, 2005 Author Share Posted September 22, 2005 Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A. The Dallas Cowboys. (the other 6 are in jail) Q: What's the difference between a Cowboys fan and a baby? A. Eventually the baby stops whining. There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 23, 2005 Author Share Posted September 23, 2005 Did you hear Dallas went 12-4, I believe in 1994? Twelve arrests but only four convictions! Also, they're changing Texas Stadium to natural grass. Dallas plays better on grass! Wait, that's a mistake. Dallas now plays on dirt, not grass. Leon Lett smoked all the grass and sniffed all the lines! There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 23, 2005 Author Share Posted September 23, 2005 Q: Which is more valuable, a dollar bill or the Dallas Cowboys? A: A dollar bill - you're guaranteed to get four quarters out of it! Q: How do you do the Dallas Cowboy Macarena ? A: Stand a foot away from a wall. Place one hand on the wall, and then the other. Spread one leg, then the other. Place one hand behind your head, then the other. Place one hand behind your back, then the other. Have the policeman handcuff one hand, then the other. There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 24, 2005 Author Share Posted September 24, 2005 Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones knelt in a confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest asked, "What is it, my child?" Jerry answered, "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how great I am." The priest turned, took a good look at Jerry, and said, "Jerry, I have some good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake!" There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 24, 2005 Author Share Posted September 24, 2005 Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common? A. They both play dead at home and get killed on the road! Q. What does Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and a bullfrog have in common? A. Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth. There are more scroll down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 Jerry Jones died and went to heaven. God was showing him his house, and it was this run down shack with an old, tattered Cowboy flag hanging over the front door. Jerry Jones wasn't too happy with this. He then looked off into the distance and saw a beautiful mansion with a bright and bold Washington Redskin Flag hanging over the doorway. Jerry Jones said to God, "I don't mean to be ungrateful, but how come George Allen gets that gorgeous mansion for a home, and I get this rundown shack?" God replied, "That's not Allen's home, that's mine." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 Q. What do Cowboy fans and hemorrhoids have in common? A. They're both a pain in the butt and never seem to go away completely. Q.What do you call 40 millionaires watching the Super Bowl? A: The Dallas Cowboys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted October 3, 2005 Author Share Posted October 3, 2005 John Madden was in Dallas covering a football game one Sunday. He was walking along the Cowboys' sideline when he noticed Barry Switzer standing next to an unusual phone. Madden asked Switzer about the phone, to which Switzer replied, "That's a hotline to God, and for $50 you can use it." Madden dug out $50 from his pocket and used the phone. The following week Madden was covering a game in Philadelphia. As he walked along the Eagles' sideline, he saw a similar phone next to Ray Rhodes. Madden asked if the phone was a hotline to God, and Rhodes replied, "Yes, and a call will cost you 50 cents." Madden then asked Rhodes why this phone cost so much less than the phone in Dallas. Rhodes replied, "It's a local call." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOVA2Tampa Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 Joe and his buddy Bill are heading to the Super Bowl and they're really late. They arrive at their seats just as they're kicking the ball off. They sit down, look around and make themselves comfortable. After a few minutes, Joe says to the next guy beside him, 'Wow, I can't believe this seat between us is empty. I've got buddies that'd give their right arm for the seat.' The guy across from him responds, "Yeah, actually this was my wife's ticket, but she passed away." There is an awkward silence, and wanting to end it Joe blurts out the first thing that he can think of, 'I'm sorry to hear that, my condolences, but couldn't you find someone to take her seat?' "Nah, they're all at the funeral." :laugh: There are more scroll down! That's the best one so far!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pR0JEkT 21 Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 Why is it that you can't get through an episode of COPS without seeing a drunk unshaven guy in a dirty Cowboys t-shirt getting arrested? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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