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Dallas Cowboys Jokes


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:dallasuck An oldie but a goodie and it is Dallas Week! :wewantd:

I hate the Cowboys, I hate em, I hate em, I hate em!!!!! :cuss:

Q: What do they call a drug ring in Dallas?

A: A huddle.

Q: There are 4 Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?

A: The police.

Q: Why can't Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy huddle anymore?

A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

The team doctor said because of Michael Irvin's fractured wrist, it'll be 6 - 8 weeks before he can video tape a team mate having sex.

The Chicago Bears are trying to trade for Michael Irvin. They got rid of the "Refrigerator" and now they want a "Coke Machine".

It was reported today that the artificial turf in Texas Stadium is being replaced because the Cowboys play much better on "grass".

The Dallas Cowboys have adopted a new "Honor System". "Yes, your Honor", "No, your Honor".

The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year. 12 arrests and 5 convictions.

In a move to strengthen their defense, the Dallas Cowboys today hired a new defensive coordinator, Johnny Cochran.

Q: How do the Cowboys spend the first week of training camp?

A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q. What does Deion Sanders football and baseball career have in common?

A. He can not hit in either one.

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Many years hence, Roger Staubach passes and is being shown his heavenly abode by St. Peter. It is a modest Ranch style house and is ladened, house and yard, with

Cowboys decorations.

A few days after his arrival, Rog goes to St. Peter spitting mad. "Dad Gum it Pete! I just saw Sonny's mansion. That's the biggest house I ever saw and its decorated about ten times more heavily than mine with Burgundy and Gold!"

"Rog," says Saint Peter smiling, "that's not Sonny's house. That's God's."

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A Dallas Fan, a Redskins fan and a Gaints fan were all in Saudi Arabia walking the street and seeing the sights.

All of a sudden Saudi police rushed over and arrested them. The they had committed the severe offense of not bowing to the Sheik, so for this terrible crime they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Gaints fan was first in line, so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Gaints fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Dallas fan was next up and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Dallas fan out crying like a little girl.

The Redskins fan was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your supporters are some of the most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Redskins fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Tie the whiney Dallas fan to my back."

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A Classic:

Two boys are playing football in parking lot of FedEx Field, when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A Washington Post reporter who is strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Redskins' fan saves friend from vicious animal", he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Skins fan," the boy replies.

"Baltimore Ravens' fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again. "I'm not a Ravens fan either," the boy says. "Then what are you?" the reporter says.

"I'm a Cowboys fan!!!"

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck **** kills family pet."

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