Humor for Air Sarge

[Riggo-toni]

A CRUSTY OLD MARINE CORPS COLONEL FOUND

HIMSELF AT A GALA EVENT DOWNTOWN, HOSTED BY A LOCAL

LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE. THERE WAS NO SHORTAGE OF

EXTREMELY YOUNG, IDEALISTIC LADIES IN ATTENDANCE;

ONE OF WHOM APPROACHED THE COLONEL FOR CONVERSATION.

SHE SAID, "EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT YOU SEEM TO BE A VERY

SERIOUS MAN. ARE YOU THIS WAY ALL THE TIME, OR IS

SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?"

"NO," THE COLONEL SAID, "JUST SERIOUS BY NATURE!"

THE YOUNG LADY LOOKED AT HIS AWARDS AND AND SAID, "IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE SEEN A LOT OF ACTION"

THE COLONEL'S SHORT REPLY WAS, "YES, A LOT OF

ACTION." THE YOUNG LADY, TIRING OF TRYING TO START UP A

CONVERSATION, SAID, "YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD LIGHTEN UP A

LITTLE.....RELAX AND ENJOY YOURSELF."

THE COLONEL JUST STARED AT HER IN HIS SERIOUS MANNER.

FINALLY THE YOUNG LADY SAID, "YOU KNOW, I HOPE YOU

DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, BUT WHEN IS THE LAST

TIME YOU HAD SEX?"

THE COLONEL LOOKED AT HER AND REPLIED, "1955."

SHE SAID, "WELL THERE YOU GO, YOU REALLY NEED TO

CHILL OUT AND QUIT TAKING EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY......I MEAN, NO SEX SINCE 1955, ISN'T THAT A LITTLE EXTREME?"

THE COLONEL, GLANCING AT HIS WATCH, SAID IN HIS

MATTER-OF-FACT VOICE, "OH, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S ONLY

2130 NOW!"

[Sarge]

Good one:lol:

Here's on that hypes the Air Force a bit

One day, a navy Admiral, an Army General and an Air Force General are standing around talking about which service has the bravest people. Of course, the Air Force general is catching maximum sh!t about the Air Farce" etc. Finally, the Navy Admiral speaks up and says, the Navy, hands down, has the bravest people and I'll prove it." He sees a seaman walking on the dock near a ship that is about to drop anchor. The Admiral yells, "Seaman, run over there and catch that anchor before it hits the water". The Seaman says "Aye aye, sir!" The seaman runs over and tries to catch the anchor. Of course, it never stops on the way down and crushes the seaman. The Admiral says, "Now, that was brave".

The Army General says "That's nothin'! Watch this! The General sees a soldier and tells him, "Soldier, run onto that field and stop that tank coming over the hill!". "Yes, sir! Hooooyaaaa! The soldier runs in front of the tank and is crushed. The General says, "Now, THAT was brave!"

The Air Force General then says, "That's nothing, watch this." He sees an airman and says, "Airman, run out on the runway and catch that F-15 that is landing". The airman looks at the general and says, "Fu(k you general, are you fu(kin' crazy?. The general looks at the other two and says, Now, THAT was brave!"

[Riggo-toni]

:laugh: :laugh:

[riggins44]

Here's another one with Air Force spin.

Military service

A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman and a Marine got into an argument about which branch of the service was "The Best." The arguing became so heated the four service men failed to see an oncoming truck as they crossed the street. They were hit by the truck and killed instantly.

Soon, the four servicemen found themselves at the Pearly gates of Heaven. There, they met Saint Peter and decided that only he could be the ultimate source of truth and honesty. So, the four servicemen asked him, "Saint Peter, which branch of the United States Armed Forces is the best?"

Saint Peter replied, "I can't answer that. However, I will ask God what He thinks the next time I see Him. Meanwhile, thank you for your service on Earth and welcome to Heaven."

Some time later the four servicemen see Saint Peter and remind him of the question they had asked when first entering Heaven. The four servicemen asked Saint Peter if he was able to find the answer. Suddenly, a sparkling white dove lands on Saint Peter's shoulder. In the dove's beak is a note glistening with gold dust. Saint Peter opens the note, trumpets blare, gold dust drifts into the air, harps play crescendos and Saint Peter begins to read the note aloud to the four servicemen:

MEMORANDUM FROM THE DESK OF THE ALMIGHTY ONE

TO: All Former Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines

SUBJECT: Which Military Service Is the Best

1. All branches of the United States Armed Forces are honorable and noble.

2. Each serves America well and with distinction.

3. Serving in the United States military represents a great honor warranting special respect, tribute, and dedication from your fellow man.

4. Always be proud of that.

Warm regards,

GOD, USAF (Retired)

[Burgold]

:laugh:

Very funny. Do you mind if I copy it?

[tex]

A night spot popular with the military was full of the usual crowd. After a few beers a U.S. Marine went into the head to take a leak. When he was done he turned around and walked out to go grab another beer. Later at the bar a Navy sailor walked up to the Marine and said "I couldn't help but notice that you didn't wash your hands before you left the head. Don't they teach Marines that your supposed to wash your hands after you take a leak?" The Marine looked the Navy sailor dead in the eye and said " No, they teach us not to pee on our hands".