Blondie Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 I'M BAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK.:laugh: 1st DEGREE: > A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the > morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone, > listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from > here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I > don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear.'" > > 2nd DEGREE: > Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a makeup compact on > the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the > mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde > says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The > second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!" > > 3rd DEGREE: > A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and > buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens > the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is > really angry.She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does > so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her > head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, > "Shut up, you're next!" > > 4th DEGREE: > A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly > says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." Her friend says, " OK, > what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy: > W." > > 5th DEGREE: > What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? > "Is it mine?" > > 6th DEGREE: > A blonde had just totalled her car in a horrific accident.Miraculously, > she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was > applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the > trooper gasped, "Your car looks like an accordion that > was stomped on by an elephant. > Are you OK ma'am?" > "Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. > "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he > surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the > blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere > this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there > was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I > swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left > and there was...." "Uh, ma'am, 'the officer said, cutting her off, > "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air > freshener swinging back and forth." > > 7th DEGREE: > Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house > ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and > reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the > channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As > the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde > ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and > then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, > "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for > help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman. Blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 :lol: Egads! Episode 2. The return of Blondie. Like those. (er...keeping mind the Blonde is allowed to tell blonde jokes. Gotta be a rule. ). thanks Blondie, a little humor amongst all this serious stuff is a welcome change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaRock Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 :laugh: I loved the last 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyDave Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 THe blondes and the compact is funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 Let me just say... WELCOME BACK, WE MISSED YOU :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 > Jerry and his blonde wife live in Cheyenne. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." > > Jerry's wife goes out and moves her car. > > A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, > "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." > > Jerry's wife goes out and moves her car again. > > The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park...", > Then the electric power goes out. > > Jerry's wife says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." > > Jerry says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time." > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DIESEL TROLL Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Yes indeed, TXfbluver......:laugh: :laugh: welcome back!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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