Redskins Diehard Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Not sure why anyone would want to go through life as a LEG, but I guess there are some out there. Enjoy!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy was standing in front of a mirror in the restroom at John F. Kennedy Airport, when in walked a Marine staff sergeant, dressed in his dress blues. The little boy turned to the Marine and said, "Wow! Are you a Marine?" The Marine replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?" "Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror. As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door open and through a ray of bright light, a man entered the room. But, this was not just a man -- he was more than a man. He was 82nd Airborne. The little boy turned and went over to the soldier. As he approached him, he could see the reflection in his boots. His eyes widened as he stared up at the soldier's chest full of medals and combat ribbons. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Finally, he took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Excuse me, Sir. Are you Airborne?" The Paratrooper replied with a thunderous voice, "Why yes, I am!! Would you like to shine my boots?" The little boy smiled, and said, "Oh, no sir!! I'm not a Marine. I'm just wearing his hat!" ALL THE WAY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westbrook36 Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 I heard that story before too. BTW, I went through your little airborne school, hooah. ___________________________________________________________________ A little boy was standing in front of a mirror in the restroom at John F. Kennedy Airport, when in walked a Army Staff Sergeant, dressed in his dress uniform. The little boy turned to the Marine and said, "Wow! Are you a Soldier?" The Soldier replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?" "Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror. As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door open and through a ray of bright light, a man entered the room. But, this was not just a man -- he was more than a man. He was a United States Marine. The little boy turned and went over to the Marine. His eyes widened as he stared up at the Marine's chest full of medals and combat ribbons. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. Finally, he took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Excuse me, Sir. Are you a Marine?" The Paratrooper replied with a thunderous voice, "Why yes, I am!! You want to suck my ****?" The little boy smiled, and said, "Oh, no sir!! I'm not a Soldier. I'm just wearing his hat!" OOHRAH!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Armed Forces Favored Recreation: Marines: Bowling Navy: Football Army: Baseball Coast Guard: Tennis Air Force: Golf Notice the lower down you get, the smaller the balls are. D.O.D.: The US Air Force Chief-of-Staff would never be called -- Airman The Chief-of-Naval Operations would never be called -- Sailor The Commanding General of The US Army would never be called -- Soldier BUT the Commandant of the Marine Corps would be proud to be called a -- Marine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redskins Diehard Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 I heard that story before too. BTW, I went through your little airborne school, hooah. ___________________________________________________________________ OOHRAH!! Good job Westbrook, you ALMOST found all the necessary changes in the story. At least you guys never claimed to be very bright!! BTW, there is a difference between being "Airborne Qualified" and being a Paratrooper! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redskins Diehard Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 Armed Forces Favored Recreation:Marines: Bowling Navy: Football Army: Baseball Coast Guard: Tennis Air Force: Golf Notice the lower down you get, the smaller the balls are. D.O.D.: The US Air Force Chief-of-Staff would never be called -- Airman The Chief-of-Naval Operations would never be called -- Sailor The Commanding General of The US Army would never be called -- Soldier BUT the Commandant of the Marine Corps would be proud to be called a -- Marine No such thing as the "Commanding General of The US Army"... Baseball may have a smaller ball, but much larger stick!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cdowwe Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Good post. Funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Air Force Cane Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 All persons, upon entering Military Service and upon reenlistment, are required to take the Oath of Enlistment. At one time, the Oath of Enlistment was the same for all services. Due to changes in both society and the differing Military Branches, the Oath has undergone marked change and has been specifically tailored to each branch of the Military and their specific function. Here are the latest versions of the Oath of Enlistment as recently released by the Joint Chiefs of Staff: US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT "I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!" US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT "I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a Court-Martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training, " I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30, 000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So Help Me God!" US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT "I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate, " because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, gee dunk, scuttlebutt,scuttle and head, " when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!" US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT "I, (make up a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh ....high-and-tight....grunt...cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash ....dig....burn....blowup....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors' wives..... air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny.... grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!" X____________________ Thumb Print XX _________________________________ Teeth Marks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airborneskins Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 All The Way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airborneskins Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 and another.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airborneskins Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 and my favorite one of all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinfan133 Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT "I, (make up a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh ....high-and-tight....grunt...cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash ....dig....burn....blowup....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors' wives..... air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny.... grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!" X____________________ Thumb Print XX _________________________________ Teeth Marks haha......funny....ugh...Yes SIR!........kill.....haha.....you funny......airforce cane...ha.....haha....ugh....OOORAH!! haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redskins Diehard Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT "I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate, " because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, gee dunk, scuttlebutt,scuttle and head, " when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!" US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT "I, (make up a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh ....high-and-tight....grunt...cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash ....dig....burn....blowup....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors' wives..... air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny.... grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!" X____________________ Thumb Print XX _________________________________ Teeth Marks Nice, but it doesn't acknowledge the fact that USMC is a child of the USN(hence no Department of the Marine Corps, no Secretary of the Marine Corps, etc) and therefor borrows the new language from the Navy...of course they couldn't come up with their own new language! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonef1de Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT "I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate, " because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, gee dunk, scuttlebutt,scuttle and head, " when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!" :laugh: Nice trip down memory lane there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Air Force Cane Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 I think the oaths are pretty representative of our respective service branches Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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