Ax Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Good morning Mr. Genius, how’s it hanging? Wooooooooooohoooooooooooo! What a game! Wow! You mean you’re actually happy about the game? Hell yes I’m happy! I think everybody should be, don’t you? Of course I do, I’m just a little surprised at you, that’s all. You’re usually so negative. Maybe I’ve had you all wrong. It’s great to get a win, huh? Who cares about winning? I just care about being right. You can’t be serious. Wasn’t it Vince Lombardi who said? “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” I really couldn’t care less about winning. Haven’t you ever heard the old saying? “It’s not whether you win or lose. It’s how you play the game.” Well sure I have, but it’s not meant the way you seem to think it is. Looks like a pretty definitive statement to me. Well for your information it refers to fairness and honor in competition. You know like if you win unfairly by cheating or playing dirty, or something like that, what have you really won? It also means if you lose and you didn’t give it your best effort, then you’ve cheated yourself. That’s what the saying means. Says you. As far as I’m concerned it means exactly what it says. So you’d rather lose pretty than win ugly? Duh! What good can come out of winning if you don’t look good doing it? What, you mean in addition to advancing to the next round of the playoffs? Big deal! The playoffs are overrated. Always remember what Mark Twain said, “It is better to look good, than to feel good.” You sure it wasn’t Shania Twain? Whoever. The point is, winning is NOT the only thing. Well then, let’s start at the bottom and work our way up, shall we? What was the worst thing about the game for you Mr. Genius? Well for starters, no trick plays. I guess you didn’t see Portis throw the option pass? It was incomplete, but they did try it. Wrong! If it works, it’s a Trick Play. If it doesn’t, it’s a Busted Play. Besides, what Gibbs called was the “Five-Yard-Loss Sweep.” It was just a heads up play by Clifton to throw the ball away that kept it from being worse than it was. Sure it was. Secondly, can someone please explain to me why Sean Taylor isn’t our starting running back, wide receiver, and H-back? I mean come on, did he not provide the long run Saturday? Yes he did. And then he turns around and gets thrown out of the game for being stupid. Well, in a way, that’s another thing I’ve been pointing out, guys playing out of their natural positions causing trouble for this team. How’s that? Sean Taylor should know that if you’re going to play the position of Pittman’s woman, you’re going to get hit in the face and thrown out of the house. Do what? He got thrown out for spitting, either at him, or on him. I don’t really know whether he did it or not, but if he did, he got what he deserved. I know, I was just making a joke. But honestly, I’m glad you brought this whole thing up. Because I’m betting that this incident won’t get the attention it deserves. Hell, it’s Monday morning, I doubt anybody else will still be talking about it. Ok then, what do you think happened? I don’t think, I know, Sean Taylor did NOT spit on anybody! How can you be so sure? Well first off, I recorded the game on my Acme Super Duper Hi-Definition DVD with Enhanced Optical Capabilities Recorder. Then I ran it through my Acme Thermal Molecular Image Identifier, with Infra-Red Super Zoom. Then, I ran it through my Acme Moisture Trajectory Radar Tracking System. And finally, I slowed it down on my Acme Super Duper Extra Special DVD Slower Downer thingy, thing. And I can say with absolute certainty that he did NOT spit on anybody. And you’re sure about this? Yes I am. But that’s not all. After finding the visual proof to clear Sean, I took it to the next level. How’s that? Well I played back the DVD on my Acme - Homemade Super Duper Audio Identifying Sound Enhancer Stereo System, using the What Was Actually Said filter and the truth was finally revealed. Well, what happened? At the end of the play Sean said, “So what do you think about this butt-whippin’ we be puttin’ on you booyeee!” And Pittman said, “This ****’s a disgrace!” Well, the ref thought he said, “He spit in my face!”, and threw the flag. Unfortunate but true. But you know, whether he spit on him or not, isn’t this much more exciting to talk about than some boring playoff game? Not to most of us it isn’t. Hell, I’m even writing a book about it. What’s the title, “Who Gives a Spit?” No, I wanted something descriptive. I wanted something that would draw the people in. Something that, as soon as people see it they’ll say, “Wow, I’ve got to read that!” So what’d you come up with? Well, I’ve narrowed it down to these three titles… “If…” “So…” Or, “Pffft…” Which one do you like the most? Like I said, Who Gives a Spit? Fine, you wanna just talk about football, we’ll talk about football. Thank you. What other problems jumped out at you? Well you know I’ve been saying all along that you need big receivers to win “The Modern Game” of football, right? Oh yes, every hour, every day. Well he’s not quite big enough, but he’s the biggest one they’ve got, and yet they refuse to throw him the ball. Who? Taylor Jacobs baby. The best kept secret in football. More like the Invisible Man. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still hoping his next game will be a big one for him, and the team. But it’s getting late in the game you know. Besides, they did throw the ball his way and it was picked off. Well if he really wanted him to catch it, Brunell would’ve thrown the Curve ball instead of the Change Up of Possession. Riiiight!! Well look at the bright side, if he’d completed the pass we wouldn’t now hold the record for fewest yards by a winning team in a playoff game, huh? Yeah, that’s the only positive thing the offense did, getting in the record books. I was kidding. I wasn’t. For those who might have missed the previous interviews... Faux I - http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=129953&highlight=faux Faux II - http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=131051&highlight=faux Faux III - http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=132249&highlight=faux Faux IV - http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=133903&highlight=faux Faux V - http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=135380&highlight=faux Faux VI - http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=137257 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool Hand Loki Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Well, in a way, that’s another thing I’ve been pointing out, guys playing out of their natural positions causing trouble for this team. How’s that? Sean Taylor should know that if you’re going to play the position of Pittman’s woman, you’re going to get hit in the face and thrown out of the house. Ba-Zing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 Genius. Good work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavy Jumbo Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I don’t think, I know, Sean Taylor did NOT spit on anybody! How can you be so sure? Well first off, I recorded the game on my Acme Super Duper Hi-Definition DVD with Enhanced Optical Capabilities Recorder. Then I ran it through my Acme Thermal Molecular Image Identifier, with Infra-Red Super Zoom. Then, I ran it through my Acme Moisture Trajectory Radar Tracking System. And finally, I slowed it down on my Acme Super Duper Extra Special DVD Slower Downer thingy, thing. And I can say with absolute certainty that he did NOT spit on anybody. And you’re sure about this? Yes I am. But that’s not all. After finding the visual proof to clear Sean, I took it to the next level. How’s that? Well I played back the DVD on my Acme - Homemade Super Duper Audio Identifying Sound Enhancer Stereo System, using the What Was Actually Said filter and the truth was finally revealed. Well, what happened? At the end of the play Sean said, “So what do you think about this butt-whippin’ we be puttin’ on you booyeee!” And Pittman said, “This ****’s a disgrace!” Well, the ref thought he said, “He spit in my face!”, and threw the flag. Unfortunate but true. That section is pure genius. No pun intended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BogeyMan Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Sean Taylor should know that if you’re going to play the position of Pittman’s woman, you’re going to get hit in the face and thrown out of the house. Classic! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Ax: I have an idea for the board: How about a chat session with Mr. Genius?. I'm sure many ExtremeSkins members would like to ask Mr. Genius questions and gain enlightenment from his wisdom and vast football knowledge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatredguy Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 OMG... dude get a hobby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbo Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Well if he really wanted him to catch it, Brunell would’ve thrown the Curve ball instead of the Change Up of Possession. Beautiful, Ax. :laugh: The geniuses know it's always Brunell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 OMG... dude get a hobby. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pittman4Two Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 That guy is screwed up in the head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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