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Califan007 The Constipated

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Posts posted by Califan007 The Constipated

    Wentz Traded to Washington for 2 3rd Rounders per Bleacher Report

    in The Stadium

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    This is a completely, very true story. Every syllable. No lie:

     

    Last week I started feeling like I might be coming down with the flu. Saturday I felt nauseous...then started feeling some pains in the chest area...and by Saturday evening I had thrown up. About 2:30 am Sunday morning I call 911 to go to the ER cuz I cannot drive myself. Ambulance guys do the initial vitals, ask me questions, listen to my chest, etc...then one says "I'm going to be up front with you: it seems you've had a heart attack."

     

    When I arrive at least 9 nurses and doctors immediately start working on my simultaneously. One doctor tells me she is going to run a catheter up my arteries and see if there is any blockage. Me: "Is it gonna hurt?" Her: "Yes. Of course."....she does so (doesn't really hurt), finds one artery 99% blocked, inserts a stent. As I recover and fight off the feeling of wanting to throw up more I'm told I will need to stay another 3 days at least for observation. During that time I'm told my left ventricle is weakened and damaged due to the blockage and needs to be strengthened and repaired. Lots of other dire doom and gloom stuff about what could have happened. I'm put on oxygen (small tubes in my nostrils, not a ventilator or anything) to get the proper level oxygen back up. During this time my phone goes dead and I can't reach my daughter or family to update them on what's happening so that adds more stress. Nobody on the floor apparently has a charger.

     

    Today my daughter makes it to the hospital to take me home and help me pick up groceries and the prescriptions (there are 7 prescriptions). The nurses and doc are checking my vitals. She brings me her charger and I tell my family what's going on. After doing so, I head to Twitter just to pass the time, and see we traded for Carson Wentz...

     

     

     

    https://i.giphy.com/media/15ht1D7Xtn63kQkoMa/giphy.webp

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