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beer before it starts


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A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite

chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick,

bring me a beer before it starts!" She looked a

little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he

finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer.

Its gonna start!" This time she looked a little

angry, but she brought him another beer. When it was

gone he said, " Quick, another beer before it starts!"

"That's it", she blows her top, "You waltz in here.

flop your fat butt down, don't even say hello to me,

and expect me to run around like your slave. Don't

you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron

all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh damn, it's started!"

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Just before their first long deployment, 3 Navy

buddies were talking about the stress of

leaving their families. A senior officer, a veteran

of many deployments, overheard the conversation

and offered the following advice:

"You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional

needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!"

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Howard had felt guilty all day long.

No matter how much he tried to forget about

it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of shame

was overwhelming. But every once in a while

he'd hear that soothing voice trying to

reassure him -

"Howard, don't worry about it. You're not the

first doctor to sleep with one of your patients

and you won't be the last. And, you're single.

So just let it go."

But invariably the other voice would bring

him back to reality . . .

"Howard, you're a Veterinarian..."

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