TK Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 http://www.washingtontimes.com/sports/20031229-115103-5212r.htm Zombie Ball Coach By Tom Knott Steve Spurrier has become one of the zombies in "Night of the Living Dead," going through this half-state of existence as he stumbles toward those who have barricaded themselves inside the farmhouse. His pupils are not contracting. There is no hint of wholeness in his beaten form. His slow, halting manner is disconcerting. His words are robotic, as if retrieved from a microchip embedded in his brain. He might as well be saying, "You've got mail." His upper torso might as well come with a string attached to it. Pull the string to see which abject phrase of failure comes from this sad, sallow, sapless figure teetering before Washington. Spurrier has fallen into the abyss and can't get out. His confidence has died and gone to the purgatory of 12-20. He is so yesteryear now, so 2003, way out of his element. He could not lead his players to the front row of a burlesque show. He would shrug his shoulders and say, "We have to do a better job of teaching our players the principles of the G-string." This is assuming the players could hear his message above the cacophony of their cell phones. Spurrier has come to live by the glum look, the slumped shoulders, the sunken chest. He has come to be the 98-pound weakling at the beach, an object both pitied and mocked. His is the incredible shrinking presence. It hurts to look in his direction. There should be a mercy rule. If Washington could put a title to his tenure, it would be: "Searching for Steve Spurrier." He is the play-calling wonk who has descended into the netherworld of trap doors, secret passages and fire-breathing creatures. Spurrier has completed the second season of a five-season affliction, the terms still negotiable if the Ball Coach ever recovers from his massive dose of Prozac and comes to his SEC senses. This experiment is a bust. There is nowhere to go with it. Spurrier is thinking it over this week, the quality of the process uncertain. He has not scored high on the NFL's tests of cognitive ability since Osaka, Japan. His players have checked out with contempt in their words, as if the opinions of players with a 5-11 record and a cell phone growing out of their ears can be valued. Spurrier has never been in the position of being a total, utter lemon. The development has overtaken his being. He is showing signs of post-traumatic stress disorder. He could use a good couch, a qualified therapist and a soft pillow in which to bury his head and sob. If he could bare his soul to the masses, the first word out of his mouth would be, "Help." His form of motivation appears to be sympathy. He tugs on his cap. He scrunches up his face in pain and sorrow. If you look real hard, you can see the faint outline of a tear rolling down his cheek. At his best, as it has come to be, he has the droopy countenance of a sleepy-headed bloodhound bound to a porch on a lazy summer day. He looks miserable, as if some mysterious force has overtaken his body and left only pieces of his former self. In his dark world, the sun no longer rises the next day. He functions amid a perpetual solar eclipse, in blackness, forever pawing the walls in search of a light switch. He is up against a decision to stay or go, with no compelling reason to stay unless he has become addicted to torment. The team is up for its usual flurry of stop-the-presses personnel changes, spin-doctoring proclamations and breathtaking marketing plans, as orchestrated by a shrewd businessman but lousy football owner. Spurrier can come along for the $5 million ride again, if he figures the money is worth the assault on his well-being. Otherwise, the fundamental nature of the franchise is not apt to change. The team goes down like cotton candy. It is sweet but empty. Given the parity-minded dictates of the NFL, the Redskins are liable to fall into a 10-6 season one of these years. The difference between a 10-6 team and 6-10 team is slight, after all. A 10-6 season is not likely to occur with Spurrier on the sidelines, however. He has lost the team, if he ever had it. Worse, he has lost himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reaganaut Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Wow. What do you add to a piece like this? Spurrier just had his pants ripped down and got thrown over the barrel. This is not looking good for him right now. I can't believe I gave this **** my confidence as a coach a year and a half ago. All my instincts told me that he would end up like this, but that thing about him being a preachers son did me in. We had the friggin defense. All we needed was a LITTLE FRIGGIN OFFENSE and we were playoff bound. This **** then goes on a tear and demands we hire all his lame former Florida losers. We then go into the tank as an offense and stop using the most serious threat we have in Stephen Davis. Spurrier is a living joke and I have returned to my utter disgust with his being. I saw this defeated man on the sidelines when Tom Osborne showed him who was a Champion in 1996. I would punch Snyder in the mouth given a chance. No true Redskins fan would hire Deion Sanders or Steve Spurrier. If he were such a fan then why doesn't he post on this group. We are the die hard fans and we agree on 80% of our opinions. How can he be so frigging stupid? He experiments on the team like Michael Jackson does with plastic surgery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 I had a dog named Pedro once years ago. He was the best friend any boy could ask for. We took him with us all over the world. One move too many and he wouldn't stop barking - 24hrs a day (before prozac for dogs). I knew he had to be put down -- didn't want to -- hated it -- but everyone's suffering and anguish was too great to endure. I loved the idea of SS and the promise and excitement he brought. Can't fault Danny -- everybody wanted Spurrier. But better to pull the plug a little too soon than a little too late. For everyone's sake, Steve, surrender. Walk calmly into that bright light to a better peaceful place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Even Madder Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 You know... Spurrier deserves this stuff. He left for a two week vacation without telling his staff their status, even though everyone knows that some of them will be fired. It's certain that Edwards is gone, and he has to wait a week to find out? What the hell is that? At very least, it's rude. At worst, it shows an unwillingness to make a decision on Spurriers part -- or maybe he's just afraid to tell him to his face and would rather call him from the beach. Either way, it's inexcuseable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
88Comrade2000 Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Originally posted by Even Madder You know... Spurrier deserves this stuff. He left for a two week vacation without telling his staff their status, even though everyone knows that some of them will be fired. It's certain that Edwards is gone, and he has to wait a week to find out? What the hell is that? At very least, it's rude. At worst, it shows an unwillingness to make a decision on Spurriers part -- or maybe he's just afraid to tell him to his face and would rather call him from the beach. Either way, it's inexcuseable. He has no class. Also, it shows that he has no guts or work ethic. If he comes back; why would be players respect him. This man works as little as possible. If he was serious about turning things around; he be here right now and making the plans. He could take his vacation later. Also, what respectable NFL assistant will want to work under Steve? I'm sure Marvin Lewis will tell them what it's like to work under Steve. The only way we get quality assistants under him; is if Synder opens his wallet again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inmate running the asylum Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 I don't think we should go overboard here and demean SS personally just because he has failed so far in coaching in the NFL. After all I don't really know the man. He's probably a nice person if we really got to know him. But at the same time its hard for me to have any sympathy for a man pulling down $5 million per year, when so many others in the world are suffering. I just don't believe that his fun n' gun is going to work and be successful in the NFL, and that we should move on. SS's failure at NFL coaching is no different than what has happened with 90% of the others who have tried it as a profession, who have either failed entirely or spun their wheels in mediocrity. Finding an average or below average coach is no problem, but finding and choosing an exceptional head coach like Gibbs, Parcels, etc., is like finding a diamond in the rough. That is why there are always 6 to 10 head head coaching vacancies every year. The only thing that can be said about Spurrier, is that in my opinion after two years, he is not that diamond in the rough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DougWilliams Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Brutal article. As far as even Madder and Redskins2000, I don't see how it's classless for SOS to take a few weeks to clear his head before he decides if 1)he wants to continue coaching, 2) if he does, what staff changes he feels need to be made, 3) how strongly he's going to stick up for staff he wants to keep that Danny and Vinnie want to ditch, 4) what's he doing wrong as a leader, that kind of stuff. Now, if he ran away so he doesn't have to tell his assistant coaches that he's firing them, or they're being fired, now that would be classless. But I don't think he's doing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Love the title of the article. on the WT page there is an appropriate picture to go with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SS-Skin Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Brutal but, unfortunately, appropriate. Of course, if only ReaganNOT's beloved Tom Osborne, member of the Bobby Bowden Sainthood club, would have graced the NFL with some of his offensive "genious", our lives would have been brighter by a bunch. Bottom line, SOS had the guts to try the next level and now it may be time to say "good try." Or maybe not. . . . Hail :coach: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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