The Fable of The Magic Luggage

[Rocky21]

Hey guys. My buddy had a 3 week trip planned to Turkey, Jordan, Israel, Greece, etc. and he left April 29th. 2 days later he finds himself in a Muslim country the day Osama Bin Laden is killed!

Then the supreme leader asks Ahmadinejad to resign and today he is in Athens and the Greeks are rioting against the government outside his hotel. http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110511/bs_afp/greecefinanceeconomystrike

He is writing a blog and said other than being surprised by fireworks going off near him a few times he has felt fairly safe but he did get supremely hassled flying out of the Tel Aviv airport. Actually what resulted is a little piece of prose called The Fable of The Magic Luggage. If you have time, give it a read and let the board know what you think.

A man walked into the Tel Aviv airport at 4:15 in the morning and went to the first security checkpoint in the airport. They looked at his passport and it was covered with many wondrous stamps. They were jealous of his power of transportation and wanted to know what magic was behind this. He only had one bag.

"One bag!" they wanted to know "how can you only have one bag and travel so far?"

"the less you have the happier you are." he said.

They smiled like this was wisdom but in their minds more was more. This tiny bag must contain his talisman of transport. They began to look at his things and ask many questions. The man stood and waited, patiently answering their questions. He had plenty of time to catch his plane. He told them he bought hotels through the IPad. What was this magical device they demanded. He showed them it was not magical, but they refused to believe him. They put it through their X-Ray machine again and again. Then they took the IPad to a small room to see if they could open it and see its magic. They brought it back after 40 minutes. They returned the IPad convinced it was not the source of the magic and that the man had been trying to deceive them by telling them it wasn't. This was how they thought.

They began to remove every object in his possession, laying each item separately out on the table for all in the airport to see. They began to be so thorough that they lost track of what they were doing and began to enjoy themselves. They held up each sock and each pair of underwear for everyone to see. The people in the line laughed nervously, for they wondered if their possessions would be held up for the crowd to inspect.

The security people brought out the man's emergency toilet paper. This amused them. It reminded them that the man was human and not a wizard. They laughed and tossed it from one to another. One looked through the roll like it was a telescope.

The man became concerned that he might be late for his 7 o'clock flight because it was now after 6 and he still had more security checkpoints to go. Then they found what they knew to be the source of his magic, two tomes of many words. One by an ancient Celt named Tolkien written in unknown languages about magic and rings. It was called "The Lord of the Rings". The other volume was written by the man himself and was a collection of anecdotes and limericks. It was called his Journal. They exposed these tomes to the all seeing eye of the X-Ray but still couldn't read them.

They huffed and puffed and decided to try and spoil the man's magic by making these two books fly cargo. Perhaps if he had to go and pick up checked luggage the man wouldn't be able to fly. They took the two books and put them into a large box, easily as big as a child's coffin and took the books away.

They told the man to wait for he needed to be inspected by the head security officer. The head security officer appeared and although he was a young man of 22, head a large badge that said "Head Security Officer Franz Kafka Airport". The head security officer picked through the luggage again. He had a stick and would poke things and lift clothes with no real interest.. Suddenly his eyes lit up. A tome the others had not noticed. It had a picture of an Arab on the front. The enemy! Surely this man's power of transport comes from being a spy of some sort. The Arab on the front was named T E Lawrence and the tome's title was "With Lawrence in Arabia".

The head security officer thought to himself "He thinks I am a filthy Jew. I will show him." He flipped through the book looking for pictures but found none. When he got to the back he saw an advertisement for William Shirer's "Berlin Diaries" and in the middle of the page was a three inch swastika. The head security officer thrust the image in the mans face "What of this?" "It's an ad for a book." the man said. The head security officer was confounded. He looked at all of the man's possessions laid out on two tables. He looked at the long line waiting. He chewed his lip for a moment and waived the man on.

The man thought it strange that they never looked in the place where the magic lay. Perhaps because this place was to the security people the sanctum sanctorum. The man knew his power of transport lay in his wallet.

[Stew]

So did he end up getting his books back?

[Rocky21]

So did he end up getting his books back?

Yep they let him carry on his one bag and they checked a couple of paperback books. Ridiculous.

I remember a post in the thread about the airport body scanners that said that they don't use those at the Tel Aviv airport - they use other techniques for rooting out terrorists. Now I know what that is. It's hassling the **** outta foreigners.

[Goskinz0721]

Yep they let him carry on his one bag and they checked a couple of paperback books. Ridiculous.

I remember a post in the thread about the airport body scanners that said that they don't use those at the Tel Aviv airport - they use other techniques for rooting out terrorists. Now I know what that is. It's hassling the **** outta foreigners.

As someone who flies every week, I can picture exactly what your buddy went through.

That is one funny story man. "The Magic Luggage" indeed.