DM: Why you mustn't trust a word this woman says

[China]

Why you mustn't trust a word this woman says ... and other body language secrets that reveal what people are really thinking

What do you really mean when you purse your lips, cross your legs or raise your eyebrows? Here, body language expert Peter Collett, author of the Book Of Tells, reveals what your body is saying unconsciously with gestures:

LOOKING UP

As Prince Charles was about to say his vows to Diana, he looked upwards. It was a quest for salvation — he was looking to the heavens for help.

Whatever your religious beliefs, if you look up you’re seeking help from above. People with a sense of self-importance also do it, suggesting they’re in contact with the Almighty.

BLINKING

Blinking rapidly? Then your mind’s working overtime. It’s a sign someone’s worried, excited or even lying as they’re under stress and thinking very rapidly — anything from ‘I must get out of here’ to ‘He’s very attractive’ or ‘I’m going to get found out’.

SCRATCHING NOSE

Do this and you could be lying. When you’re not telling the truth, you instinctively want to cover up the source of the lie — your mouth — so no one can see you’re fibbing. But that’s too *obvious, so people disguise it by scratching their nose as it does the same job, but gives your hand an alibi for being over your mouth.

PURSING LIPS

Angry people often purse their lips because it stops them from saying anything they might regret. If you’ve got something to hide, clamping your mouth shut prevents you from speaking — you’re *unconsciously thinking: ‘No, I’d better not say anything.’

LIP NIBBLING

The mouth is the biggest giveaway when it comes to showing *anxiety. If you want to know if someone is *distressed or *nervous, look at their mouth.

Lip nibbling, whether biting the lower lip or a corner of the mouth with the upper teeth, prevents someone from speaking, so it’s used by people who want to stop themselves from saying something.

TILTING HEAD

Called the ‘head cant’ by psychologists, this is often used by a woman to flirt and appear more attractive.

It does three things designed to appeal to a man: it lowers her height; *mimics a baby putting its head on its mother’s shoulder; and exposes the neck. As the neck is one of the most vulnerable parts of your body, showing it to someone is a way of saying: ‘I trust you implicitly.’

EAR MASSAGE

When someone’s worried, they reach for their earlobe to *comfort themselves. It’s a very convenient, puffy bag full of nerve endings, which therefore has a lot of pleasant sensation.

HAIR FLICKING

This draws attention to a *person. It’s also a ‘youth *display’ often used by older women to appear more attractive. When we’re young, our hair is *naturally flexible with a lot of body, but it loses this over time. So women flick their hair to give it that youthful bounce.

RAISED EYEBROWS

Arch your eyebrows and widen your eyes and you look startled. But raised eyebrows on their own indicates you’re trying to show you’re interested in someone or something.

Prince Charles and Tony Blair both use this to say: ‘I’m not a threat, I’m fascinated by you and I’m not trying to *dominate.’ It’s a way of *disarming someone.

FURROWED BROWS

Lowering the brows is a dominance gesture used mainly by men, which tells people: ‘I may be looking at you, but I’m in charge.’

LEGS APART

When you’re on a train, you stand with your legs apart so you’re not thrown off balance.

And that’s what you’re saying when you stand like this in other situations: ‘I’m immoveable.’ You’re telling people you won’t change your mind.

SHIFTING WEIGHT

When you want to escape from a conversation, you shift your weight from side to side or back to front.

It often leads to a little dance with the person you’re talking to — you shift, they *unconsciously pick up on the signal so they look at their handbag. You read this signal and button your jacket, they reach for their coat. You both leave.

Men also sometimes do this when chatting to a pretty girl to make themselves appear energetic.

THE PRETZEL

The next time you see a *comedian, look out for members of the audience sitting like this with their legs crossed and a foot tucked behind their calf.

They’re saying: ‘Yes, I’m happy to be here, but I want to be invisible.’

You’re taking up as little space as possible, showing that you’re hoping not to be noticed.

CROSSED LEGS

Oh dear, if you’re with a really dull person standing in the ‘scissor stance’, as we call it, you’re in for a long night of boredom. It says: ‘I have no intention of moving.’ It’s a very good way of telling whether or not the conversation is going to continue.

SITTING WIDE

If you want to take charge, take up as much space as *possible — spread your papers, arms and legs as far as they will go and put your feet into the communal space.

It’s the equivalent of an *animal expanding their size in order to threaten and dominate.

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[Kilmer17]

I can tell the gravity of the situation when my wife is pissed on the number of fingers she is using to excentuate her point.

1 Finger- It's a good debate, and she's pissed but still listening.

2- Fingers- time to shut up, let her rant and hope there is an episode of Grays Anatomy taped in the bedroom for her to storm off and watch.

3- Fingers- Oh crap. This is going to cost me something. Hopefully just flowers, or a night on the sofa, or a nice dinner but almost always includes make up sex.

4- Fingers? Even the dog ****s himself and runs away for a week or two.