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Onion: Massive Flow Of Bull**** Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters


Henry

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Obviously there are bad words in this story, but I had to post it. :)

full story here

LONDON—As the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico entered its eighth week Wednesday, fears continued to grow that the massive flow of bull**** still gushing from the headquarters of oil giant BP could prove catastrophic if nothing is done to contain it.

The toxic bull****, which began to spew from the mouths of BP executives shortly after the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in April, has completely devastated the Gulf region, delaying cleanup efforts, affecting thousands of jobs, and endangering the lives of all nearby wildlife.

"Everything we can see at the moment suggests that the overall environmental impact of this will be very, very modest," said BP CEO Tony Hayward, letting loose a colossal stream of undiluted bull****. "The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean, and the volume of oil we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total volume of water."

Hayward's comments fueled fears that the spouting of overwhelmingly thick and slimy bull**** may never subside.

According to sources, the sheer quantity of bull**** pouring out of Hayward is unprecedented, and it has thoroughly drenched the coastlines of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida, with no end in sight.

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