October 28, 2001: "The Best Medicine"

[Om]

Word to the wise: next time you take off from the foul line to execute a 360-degree, windmill jam in traffic, go ahead and hang on the rim for a while, and stay up there until you're sure it's safe to come down. Me, I didn't do that. Big mistake.

Two days after Dallas, I'm runnin' with some buds down at the gym, and go to throw down that thing, when d@mn if my knee doesn't get caught up around Big Luke's shoulder. Well, I can't quite secure my grip on the iron, and tumble to the hardwood, crackin' my noggin' ...

... and don't wake up for almost two weeks.

Naturally, the first thing out of my mouth (right after "... um, nurse, are those real?" ) is, "DOES ANYONE KNOW IF WE BEAT THE PANTHERS!?" The Doc (who, strangely, looks a whole lot like Daniel Snyder) smiles down with bemusement. "Poor, neurotic man," says he, " ... of course we did."

So I won't bother to reconstruct that one ... ‘cause after all, you guys saw it and I didn't.

Nice to know that Jeff George can indeed run a modified WCO, though, isn't it? From where I stand (or lay, anyway), 375 yards and 3 TD's is a pretty good days' work. Throw in Stephen Davis' "off day," only picking up 88 yards (but converting on 4 of 6 third downs), and you have to be pleased. Yeah, I guess the defense was a bit off ... but I'll take holding someone to a touch and three FG's most any time.

So what was it, Washington 21, Carolina 16? I'll take it.

Now, about those blue-clad varmints what stole one from us a couple weeks back ...

Game 8: New York Giants

- Any Sunday when we don't play until 8:00 at night is long enough under normal circumstances, but from a hospital bed it's simply interminable. Plus, the stupid roomie they gave me could care less about football, and seem to think I'm a complete nut, if you can imagine that. Just because my buds sneak in a flask of joy juice and a boom box, and we groove to Liquid Tension Experiment for a couple of hours? Some people.

- Joey the T talks right up until Giants KR Ron Dixon fields the opening kick and heads up field. Joe Glib is halfway into his thesis about how, if Dixon breaks another one like he did 3 weeks ago, the Redskins might be in psychological trouble ... when he's flattened (Dixon, that is) at the 25. The Theismannesque Theoretical Thesis goes unfinished (thank you) ... and unremembered.

- The first quarter is old-style, throwback NFC East football. The Giants slam RB Ron Dayne into the middle, testing the Redskins' suspect (at least in some folk's eyes) DT rotation. Occasionally, they send RB Tiki Barber wide, and a couple of times off-tackle on delayed draws. They find a bit of early success, piling up some yards between the 20's, but manage only a mid-range FG to take a 3 - 0 lead.

Washington counters with much of the same, with Stephen Davis unable to really get untracked, but able to keep possession long enough to keep the defense fresh. When it becomes apparent that New York's game-plan doesn't do a very good job of taking away TE Stephen Alexander, though, Jimmy Raye and Jeff George get after it. Just before the quarter ends, they find Alexander for the third time, and he caps off a 68-yard drive with a tip-toeing, eleven-yard grab in the back corner of the end zone.

Turns out it's a good thing they take the IV's out once non-critical patients regain consciousness, because I don't think those little tube-thingy's are anywhere near long enough to accommodate standing erect (as in ‘tall', thank you) in the hospital bed, much less indulging in the kind of energetic and demonstrative signaling of "TOUCHDOWN!" which dislodges ceiling tiles.

Anyway ...

- By midway through the 2nd quarter, it's obvious that this one is going to be about who blinks first; who makes the killer mistake. That, understandably, still makes certain Redskins-affiliated types more than a little Norvous, seeing as how our heroes' record in such games over the past few bleedin' millenia (all right, 7 years) is less than sterling.

Happily, then, when the first big arf comes, it's the Little Boys Blue who make it.

Kerry Collins and Tiki Barber mishandle a quick toss at their own 31, and after a friendly little scrum, Washington LB Robert Jones emerges from the pile with the ball held high. Before the crowd can settle back down, Jimmy "Sting" Raye surprises a few people, taking a page from a certain Joseph Gibbs, and goes play-action on first down, looking for the home run.

Jeff doesn't like his first option, because Giants CB Jason Sehorn is right with Micheal Westbrook (you'd think Jason's lovely new bride woulda taken more out of him, wouldn't ya?). Jeff drifts left, hesitates, then finally guns it off his back foot, looking deep into the right corner of the end zone (in a throw not un-reminiscent of one he threw to Irving Fryar last season against the Rams ), where he finds young Rodney Gardner motoring along a step or so ahead of Dave "Don't Say It" Thomas.

With a minute left in the half, Washington leads 14 - 3.

(This, by the way, is when a certain humble scribe finds out that hospitals in fact have Rules, including some which frown upon the sprinting up and down of halls with your arse hanging out of your gown, generally frightening the nurses, and blowing through this one particular room high-fiving all the guys and gals in traction. Hey, how was I supposed to know?)

*

To be continued ...

[Om]

Now, where were we? Ah ...

- By the time they have strapped said lunatic back down ... the 3rd quarter is under way.

Five minutes in, New York runs a well-disguised screen on a 3rd and 10 to that ever-so-annoying Tiki Barber, who breaks it big and picks up 45 yards, down to the Redskins 7. Dough Boy Dayne punches it in 4 plays later over Kennard Lang, on fourth-and-goal from the 1.

Outside the slightly-opened hospital window, a dog is woofing like mad. We look down to see a big old bulldog just going nuclear, and for a brief moment we swear it sounds like he might be ... talking. We strain our senses, and can almost understand ... "see, I told ya!" he seems to be saying ... but then our big meanie of a roommate slams the window shut, so we can't really be sure.

As the quarter closes, Brett Conway chips a 19-yarder to extend the lead back to 7. Some Skins fans aren't altogether happy, however, as many of them are thinking Marty should have gone for it on 4th and goal from the 2. Others are perhaps just a bit uneasy as well, considering recent history, but we don't really want to go there again, do we?

So, as the teams switch ends ... there is no really urgent sense that Washington intends to allow what happened the last time the teams met to happen again, but still ... no, they wouldn't.

Would they?

- Turns out we miss the first five minutes of the 4th quarter (hey, it's sponge bath time, all right?). The other good news about those lost minutes , though, is that Washington stuffs New York on a 3-and-out following the Conway FG, and they take over with good field position after an October fair catch at the Washington 43.

Davis breaks off a 13-yarder up the gut on first down, followed by a 6-yarder around the left side behind Chris Samuels. George finds Alexander once again for 8. At that point (as everyone on the hall is wondering precisely what the heck is going in Room 124, where that durned lunatic is yelling, "Pound it again! Pound it again!"), one Jimmy Raye "Gun" crosses everybody up.

From the New York 36, George drops, then drops some more, and the Blue Fellas converge, ready to crush him for a drive-killing loss. Instead, just as Michael Strahan reaches him, George flips an exquisite little screen to one Messr. Stephen Davis in the right flat. Davis turns upfield, picks up a couple of big ol' white shirts with numbers in the 60's, and finds himself presented with a whole lot of daylight (nightlight?).

You can just see it, can't ya? The electric green of The Big Jack's natural grass, the way the stadium lights set the gold on the Washington uniforms to glowing alongside the burgundy, not to mention the deep, deep blue of the New York defenders not quite getting there ... and, of course, the indescribable, guttural, prehistoric roar of 80,000-plus partisans reaching an impossible crescendo ... as number 48 rumbles the length of the field to paydirt.

God help me, I do love it so.

- At 24 -10 Washington, the rest of the game is about Kerry Collins trying to run the hurry-up, and the Washington secondary completely refusing to cooperate. New York's last-gasp is snuffed out when Washington CB Fred Smoot makes his first pro pick, beating Joe Jurevicius to an ill-advised Collins ball into traffic. You can see Freddy almost jumping out of his Skin, just aching to shuck and jive ... but when Darrell Green comes up and puts his arm around the rookie's shoulder as they trot off the field, you can almost sense the rookie coming to understand just a little bit about what it means to "act like you've been there."

- Stephen Davis turns it over to Donnell Bennett & Co. to run out the game, finishing up with 163 yards on 29 carries (the 36-yarder giving his average a nice little bump). Marty pulls him after a first down run, and Stephen is rewarded by a thunderous standing ovation by the faithful.

Looking around the stadium, one can see that no one has left the building. Hell, not even the yellow seats are showing. As the game winds down, and the joy juice finally dulls our senses, we have a little time to reflect upon what has become a very nice little run for the new Washington Redskins.

Few who follow the team closely really expected them to reach the halfway point of the season at 6 - 2, and tied for first place in the division, much less to do so coming off 3 successive convincing wins. Yes, there is the all-too-fresh memory of what befell this franchise last year after a similar start, but the feeling is so very different this year ...

For one thing, no key starter has yet been lost to extended injury. Sure, there have been a few man-games lost to nicks, bumps and bruises, but at least to date they haven't come in areas of real concern. It almost seems as if the Gridiron Gods have chosen to smile upon this group, perhaps in a kind of cosmic karma refund seemingly long overdue, at least as seen though our eyes.

Winning has begat confidence, confidence has begat winning, and there is an undeniable sense that to beat this team, you'd better bring your best stuff. The 2001 Redskins may not be the Roman Centurions yet, but they're not the Republican Guard any more, either.

In fact, it isn't hard to close our eyes, settle back into our pillow, and look into the future, where we start to see warm, fuzzy, wonderful images ... things like winning streaks, and playoff games ... and home field advantage ... and all-natural nurses ... and ...

- When the said gentle care-givers finally re-enter the room, they find a man deep in a restful sleep, though wearing a strange, almost evil little grin on his face. If one can envision (with apologies for spoiling the moment) a dormant Mona Lisa with a goatee and receding hairline ... well, kind of like that.

(Somebody please make this guy shut up, already.)

*

So, at the turn, we're cruising along, making pars, even dropping the occasional bird ... and feeling pretty d@mn good about ourselves. We pop up into the clubhouse to hit the head, maybe scarf down a beer and a dog, before heading back out.

Meet you on the tenth tee.

*

Next up: beats me. Let me finish this brew first.

[Om]

Memo to Self:

You may want to dial it down at bit, my man. Think you lost them on this one.

[Blade]

I think you scared 'em off with images of your bare arse in a hospital gown...

Other than that, another fun read... looking forward to the next one!

[RF4L]

Not at all, Om. It was an awesome review of the game, as usual. I was in there all the way. Matter of fact, I tried to reply the other day to applaud your effort, but for whatever reason, browser wouldn't cooperate.

Anyway, I knew our boys would start 6-2, I'm happy that you verified it. Oh yeah, sorry 'bout you getting slam dunked on your slam dunk.

[Tom [Giants fan]]

This will just never do. I want a second opinion.

[Larry]

I think this WAS the second opinion.