Uncle Lucifer

[WVUforREDSKINS]

Uncle Lucifer was my most interesting uncle. He was an elk hunter, but he wouldn't kill the elk. Instead he would chase it down, knock it to the ground and suck all the gristle out of its neck through a Donald Duck straw. He was fun to be with; he could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and then vomit up the vowels and constants separately. His hobby was attending reunions of groups he never belonged to and pretending to be people who were long dead. He also enjoyed sitting on the toilet until his legs fell asleep.

Til the end of his days, Lucifer remained bitter that when he was a boy there had been no seedless red grapes. He died in an Indiana ffurniture outlet when he was torn to pieces by a pack of hunting dogs.

[skinsfan07]

so that's he devil huh?

[Mickalino]

Uncle Lucifer was my most interesting uncle. He was an elk hunter, but he wouldn't kill the elk. Instead he would chase it down, knock it to the ground and suck all the gristle out of its neck through a Donald Duck straw. He was fun to be with; he could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and then vomit up the vowels and constants separately. His hobby was attending reunions of groups he never belonged to and pretending to be people who were long dead. He also enjoyed sitting on the toilet until his legs fell asleep.

Til the end of his days, Lucifer remained bitter that when he was a boy there had been no seedless red grapes. He died in an Indiana ffurniture outlet when he was torn to pieces by a pack of hunting dogs.

link please ?

[.Guy.]

what is this stuff?

its not funny or creative.

[F Landry]

Am I the only one who is confused?

[Mickalino]

what is this stuff?

its not funny or creative.

Am I the only one who is confused?

Sounds like someone tried to do their own version of the Austin Powers monologue -

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.

Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

[dreamingwolf]

+

[Mickalino]

+

I prefer

+

[WVUforREDSKINS]

Im surprised no one has picked up where this is from.

[Mickalino]

Im surprised no one has picked up where this is from.

[frommd]

Edgun88 is the winner!!!