Henry Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 I just took a look at every single NFL team's roster and I made a startling observation: We need hotter cheerleaders. I noticed the Raider Girls and the Buccanettes are seriously fine, while the Bengals and Cardinal Girls are pretty close to heinous. The Charger Girls are fantastic as well, but I did a little research and found out that Buffy McJuggs, the team Captain and a serious hottie, sprained a neck muscle and was gone for the season after week 7. Conincidence? I think not. The ONLY possible conclusion any rational fan could come up with is that the hotter the cheerleaders, the better the team. Just look at the history of the league since the merger. The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders were truly fine in the 70s, but now look at them. Dogs, all of them. The Redskinettes looked much better in the 80s when the one piece rule was in place. Now, with the two-piece unis, we can see how many outy belly buttons there are on the squad, and we've been mired in mediocrity ever since. So my solution is simple. Forget the OL. Draft hotter cheerleaders, or at the very least go back to one-piece unis. Otherwise I may have to throw a tantrum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 Henry, I'm sorry, but you need to look closer at the situation. Snyder has raised the bar for the hotness of our cheerleaders. There's no comparison with how hot they are now compared to when he took over. I believe he's actually objectified the position of cheerleader on this team making them less cheery, but must more breasty. That lovely b@stard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@DCGoldPants Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 Well, Cali and Florida have more hotties. Personally, I think Miami has some nice tomato's also. We're a lot better than most teams....... what about the Steeler Girls? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted January 6, 2003 Author Share Posted January 6, 2003 Originally posted by Art Henry, I'm sorry, but you need to look closer at the situation. Snyder has raised the bar for the hotness of our cheerleaders. There's no comparison with how hot they are now compared to when he took over. I believe he's actually objectified the position of cheerleader on this team making them less cheery, but must more breasty. That lovely b@stard. Well, if you bothered to take a closer look at the data, you'd see that while are cheerleader hotness factor was higher in 1999 it actually started to drop off in the past few years once the Santos twins left for the Wizards. Also, I'm talking about comparative hotness. Obviously our cheerleaders are hotter now, but you can't compare different squads from different eras. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonnyJ Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 Excellent analysis, Henry! I think you've hit on a statistical correlation that everyone else in the NFL has failed to pick up on. Maybe a smart FO should start investing more in chick scouting at the local mall or Hooters to find the prime talent, and pay it accordingly. It would have to be worth at least a Day 1 pick...:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brave Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 Originally posted by Henry ... while the Bengals and Cardinal Girls are pretty close to heinous. Those sorry owners won't pay for good players ... they certainly aren't going to pay for "talented" cheerleaders. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golgo-13 Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 That must have been some very tedious work checking out all of the nfl team's cheerleaders. :jerkoff: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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